patrols: (2)
Lindsay Miller ([personal profile] patrols) wrote in [community profile] thepicketfencecliche2016-01-23 05:54 pm

canon au } { post-508, of drugged slayers and cheetos



Ben: [arriving and dropping the kids off with Dawn before heading to the hospital because] What the hell happened? [don't ask how he got past security]

Lindsay: [sighs as she looks over at him] The guy who punched me in the face was on fire. [she doesn't look as bad as she could have - thank you Slayer healing factor - but the burns still look pretty bad] I'll be okay.

Ben: I'm going to hunt him down and kill him.

Lindsay: No, don't. I'll be okay.

Ben: Why shouldn't I? He's obviously a threat.

Lindsay: Because there's a chance he's being manipulated by something and not realizing what he's doing. [because yeah, Lindsay got a text from Cora at this point that the bad guy is Parrish]

Ben: Well, they still need a few dozen punches to vital organs [he softens] Are you okay?

Lindsay: [she nods] Yeah. I am. [there's a pause, because he really needs to understand, but she'll wait to make sure no one else is listening] It's Parrish.

Ben: Are you fucken kidding me?

Lindsay: [she shakes her head] But he doesn't know he's doing it. Whatever's messing with his head, we're trying to figure out how to break it.

Ben: Well until then, he can't be controlled if he's unconscious.

Lindsay: [she gestures to herself] You see these fabulous burns I'm sporting? I don't think they would be a really good look for you.

Ben: I've been worse.

Lindsay: Look, Laura's on it, okay? We need to get him to realize that something's happening to him first.

Ben: [growls in that frustrated need to do something way]

Lindsay: [she reaches over and takes his hand, giving it a small squeeze] You can stay here and make sure I don't get brainwashed by creepy doctors I can't see.

Ben: [deep breath] I can do that.

Lindsay: Good. [a beat] What are you doing here anyway?

Ben: Cora called, asking for backup. Thinks my angel radio may be of some use.

Lindsay: She is way smarter than we give her credit for sometimes. I'm choosing to blame it on who she decided to date. [she's very drugged right now, and she likes Stiles but if she was dating him she'll probably would have punched him by now]

Ben: Oh, she's smart all right. But we all do things that are crazy because of love.

Lindsay: I guess so.

Ben: So beyond protecting you from unsavory doctors, can I do anything else for you?

Lindsay: See if there's anything good in the vending machine? I don't know I'm mostly being really stoned right now.

Ben: You got the munchies. I know that feeling. Snacks coming up. [and he is going to get her Cheetos and Fritos]

Lindsay: [best boyfriend] I'd ask you to smuggle me out but I don't think I'm coherent enough to actually help you. Melissa's found my narcotics tolerance.

Ben: Yeah, and we can't take the good drugs with us. When you don't need them anymore, I'll carry you out the window myself.

Lindsay: [nods as she curls up on her side facing him more] This all sucks.

Ben: [opens the Cheetos and feeds her one] Yeah, I get that. But you're alive. That's important. And just imagine punching him in the face a few times. You still deserve to get that in - controlled or not.

Lindsay: Oh, I'm totally going to punch him in the face. [mmmm Cheetos]

Ben: I will shoot video.

Lindsay: Then I can savor it forever.

Ben: Mmhmm. [another Cheeto for you, baby]

Lindsay: You're the best.

Ben: I'm glad you recognize it. [grins] You are so high.

Lindsay: Drugs are awesome.

Ben: Oh, I know. I'm jealous right now but I'm clean and probably shouldn't try to get back on anything.

Lindsay: [pouts] Probably.

Ben: Then again, the angel juice doesn't let it work if I did take it.

Lindsay: Not even if you took a lot of it?

Ben: It's a bit stronger than you think.

Lindsay: Good to know.

Ben: Come on, open up. [totally smirking as he feeds you]

Lindsay: [And will actually do as she's told. If he ever tells anyone she will kill him]

Ben: [nope, he's just going to totally enjoy this moment of being allowed to be useful and goofy. He doesn't get too often]

Lindsay: [neither does she. She's doped up enough that nothing else seems that urgent]

Ben: [and once she's eaten the whole bag, he will lean in to kiss her]

Lindsay: [she kisses him back with a sigh, settling close] I'm glad you're here.

Ben: You know I'll always come when you need me, right?

Lindsay: Yeah, but saying that I need someone is hard.

Ben: There's nothing wrong with admitting you need help sometimes. It's not going to make me think less of you as being a kickass cop slayer who looks amazing in uniform.

Lindsay: I know. [she pauses as she reaches for his free hand to play with his fingers in her intoxicated state] Still hard.

Ben: Well, we can always come up with a code phrase. You can call me and... ask me for Cheetos. And that really means backup.

Lindsay: And what if I just want to see you?

Ben: [thinks] Mmmmm, Twinkies.

Lindsay: Twinkies are awesome.

Ben: And I have an awesome Twinkie.

Lindsay: [she makes a face, pinching her eyes closed] Nooooo don't make Twinkies dirty.

Ben: [laughs]

Lindsay: I am not sober enough for innuendo right now.

Ben: No, but you are completely adorable, and if you weren't all burnt up, I would kiss you.

Lindsay: [she pouts] Can we revisit that in a couple days?

Ben: I won't leave town until we finish that part of the conversation.

Lindsay: Good.

Ben: You going to be okay? [reached up to brush his fingers along the unburned side of her face]

Lindsay: [she tips into his hand a bit and nods] Yeah, I'll be okay. I've come back from worse.

Ben: Well, hopefully not often.

Lindsay: [she shakes her head] No, not often. Buffy tries to limit tearing apart the universe to once a year.

Ben: I'll make sure I put it on my calendar then.

Lindsay: You might want to talk to your dad and your uncle too, because they fuck up more than we do.

Ben: Yeah, I'm starting to get that picture.

Lindsay: The supernatural world is just one giant mess.

Ben: And trying to clean it up in one spot just lets the mess move to another spot.

Lindsay: Yep. And you can't take out every hellmouth you find because that would just be a lot of collateral damage.

Ben: And we need to cut back on collateral damage.

Lindsay: That's what makes us the good guys.

Ben: I'm still debatable on just how good I can be. [smirks]

Lindsay: I think you're pretty good.

Ben: You may be a bit biased. I'm a horrible, bad man. [smirks]

Lindsay: [she snorts] I think if you were a bad man, Dawn would have let Peter kill you.

Ben: But then they wouldn't have gotten home.

Lindsay: She would have let Peter kill you when you followed them home.

Ben: I think I could take papa wolf.

Lindsay: I wouldn't hold your breath. He's scary as shit when he's murderous.

Ben: I will remember that.

Lindsay: But hopefully they've fixed that - at least for now.

Ben: I heard. Some kind of walk about in his head to draw out the ghost of Peter past.

Lindsay: [she nods] It was freaky.

Ben: Well, let’s hope it works for good.

Lindsay: Buffy's working with him on it and they're back to being gross and cuddly again, so for now I'm assuming yes.

Ben: Papa wolf knows how to cuddle? Isn't that a sign of the apocalypse?

Lindsay: No, just that he's a werewolf. They're all big puppy dogs in the end.

Ben: I'm sure they would all bite you if you said that to their face.

Lindsay: Oh yeah, they totally would. But with the Hales the bark is worse than their bite unless Peter's on a murder spree.

Ben: [nods] I will avoid him during those then.