canon au } { post-3b, of old hoodies and needed forgiveness

[impetere]

[♫ Forgive the Children We Once Were ~ Delta Rae]



[After driving up with Peter and Buffy for the great big Hale family pow-wow, Cora opts to crash in Derek and Dawn’s guest room instead of working out hotel logistics with Peter and Buffy. The next morning, Derek is in the kitchen making coffee.]

Cora: [wanders in, half asleep and following the smell of coffee, dressed in pajama pants and an old Beacon Hills basketball hoodie. She probably would have considered what she was wearing more carefully if she wasn't so desperate for caffeine at the time, but what can you do?] Morning.

Derek: Morning [doesn't look up from where he just grabs a third cup and pours his sister a cup of coffee]

Cora: [makes a pleased noise, reaching to take the cup from him when he's finished and bringing it right to her lips. Mmmm coffee] Thanks.

Derek: You're welcome. Sleep well? [coffee is made and he sneaks a look over at Cora, then stares and raises an eyebrow] Is that.... my old hoodie?

Cora: [she's about to mumble another comment in response when the question catches her off guard and she looks down and back up again. She's not exactly sure what to say, and it shows, but eventually she nods] Yeah.

Cora: Dawn. [she gives a bit of a shrug as she moves over towards the counter] You must have loaned it to her or something. She gave it to me after the fire to help me sleep.

Derek: [he thinks a minute, then nods] Yeah, I think she had forgotten her jacket one day and was cold so I loaned it to her. She never gave it back. [he went to stand across the counter from her] Dawn was always a klepto back then. I swear Mom would put extra pens into my backpack because of her.

Cora: [she shrugs] Must have been not long before the fire, though. Still smelled like you.

Derek: Well, I swear I wore that thing every day for years. I'm surprised it isn't falling apart.

Cora: [she nods a bit - mostly because she took care of it, she knows how threadbare it was in some spots, but she didn't particularly mind. All the same ...] Do you want it back?

Derek: No. If you've had it that long, it's yours. I have my jacket now. [which was a gift from Laura and he was never giving that thing up. Ever]

Cora: [she relaxes a bit at that, because while in her mind it was still his, it had almost become like a safety blanket, something she held onto so tightly because she didn't have anything else. And while if Derek really wanted it back she would give it to him - she had the actual Derek there, she didn't really need it anymore, it would still suck.] Thanks.

Derek: [he sipped his coffee a minute] Dawn and Buffy took good care of you, huh? [after... you know]

Cora: [she shrugs a bit] They fought a lot about how to take care of me, when they thought I couldn't hear them. But Buffy kept me safe and Dawn ... [was like her big sister] ... she knew how to handle the nightmares.

Derek: What kind of nightmares did you have?

Cora: [she takes another sip of her coffee, delaying the time long enough to think of how exactly to say it] I was back in the house, during ... [the fire.] I couldn't get out. I couldn't find mom. I couldn't ... breathe.

Derek: [looks down at his hands guiltily.] I'm sorry.

Cora: [frowns at him] You didn't know. [you thought she was dead, though she isn't entirely sure what he's apologizing for.]

Derek: [looks towards Dawn's bedroom a moment. He could take the easy way out of this and keep hiding things, but Peter already knew. Cora deserved to know. He looked back at her, his eyes sad] I'm sorry because... because I'm the reason it happened.

Cora: [her brow furrows for a moment, confused] What?

Derek: You were too young, so you didn't know. I.... I was sorta involved with Kate Argent leading up to that.

Cora: [it takes her some time to process that information, to digest it in a way that isn't her wanting to punch something] So that was how they knew ... [all the weak spots in the house. all the best places to trap them. Derek practically gave them a map. She feels a little dizzy and she pushes the coffee cup away from her for a moment, trying to let herself think for a moment] You didn't tell her about the tunnels.

Derek: [just looks at his hands] It's why I rode Scott hard on his crush on Allison. Because I know how bad it can get when you think you care about someone, make excuses for where they come from, and how they can turn everything on you on a dime.

Cora: You didn't know what she was going to do. [her bias wants to flare up and go uh, Argent but at the same time, she knows that sometimes the scary once can hide it better than anyone else] She wouldn't blame you for this. [He knows who she is]

Derek: Doesn't matter. I do. Every single day. Laura tried to help but I get nightmares too.

Cora: [glances down at her hands, playing with her fingers] You were what got me out of mine. Dawn ... she says scent is the strongest thing to trigger memories and she gave me the sweatshirt so I could focus on the family that was still there, rather than the ones that weren't. She always told Buffy that she thought that I should have gone with you and Laura but Buffy always said it wasn't safe.

Derek: She's probably right. It took me a long time to even get back to a good place. [he reaches for his coffee but doesn't pick it up. Just something warm against his hand] I couldn't even see Peter after that so Laura took care of him. She took care of me. Mom would have been proud of her.... we never knew you made it.

Cora: Peter got me out. I thought he was dead, he collapsed outside the tunnels and I just ... ran. Buffy found me in the woods.

Derek: I'm glad it was her who found you. [because he doesn't want to think of the alternative]

Cora: Me too.

Derek: [his hand just hovers on the counter, his eyes watching his fingers. He is focusing on his breathing, keeping his emotions in check like Laura had taught him to do]

Cora: [never had those lessons, always managed to lose herself in her emotions, for better or for worse. Whatever Derek internalizes, Cora always tries to throw back at whoever's coming at her. Still, she can recognize, at this point, when he's bottling something and she reaches across the counter for his hand, pulling it into hers]

Derek: [he looks up at her, and his eyes glow blue for a moment to just show the pain and guilt he's carried for years before he just looks away] You know, when you came back and called me out for being a shit alpha, you weren't wrong.

Cora: [shrugs] It's not for everyone. Especially if they're not ready for it.

Derek: After what I did, I didn't deserve it. But I couldn't let Peter keep hurting people.

Cora: I know. [and he's not wrong. But she also can sense that that isn't the whole reason why he wanted it - it was a little bit for Laura, and a little bit for the power it would provide. She would have done the same thing]

Derek: The only good thing that came out of it was getting you back. [and Isaac. Isaac is a good beta - better than Derek deserved sometimes. Boyd and Erika were too]

Cora: We're Hales. Our lives are always going to have a pile of crap in them. We just have to make sure we look at the good stuff too.

Derek: [he nods] Sounds about right.

Cora: [she sighs softly as she moves around the counter closer to him, slipping her arms around his waist and tucking her head against his shoulder. They haven't done this since she was much smaller, but maybe that just means they're overdue]

Derek: [hesitates a moment, then just wraps his arms around her and holds her tight] I'm so sorry, Cora.

Cora: [her nose brushes against his shoulder, taking a deep breath and just closing her eyes. Much better than just the sweatshirt] It's okay. I forgive you. [because someone needs to. He'll probably never forgive himself]

Derek: [just squeezes her a bit tighter, taking her in as well and silently thanking her for the forgiveness in the hug. He's trying not to let those tears escape that want to. Only his family can bring that out in him]

Cora: [she'll stay there as long as he needs her to, just sinking in to the hold for as long as they have]

Derek: [probably only for a bit more before pulling back and reaching up to run his hand along her cheek] You know, you look so much like Mom.

Cora: [her head ducks a bit at that, because the way she remembers her mom is the perfect version, the one where she's prettier and warmer and everything the way it should be] I miss her.

Derek: Me too. [yeah, he should tell her] I take it Peter told you about Malia?

Cora: [nods a bit] I've been helping him talk to her. [she should probably tell him about that too]

Derek: That's good. She needs to know she has family.

Cora: ... She doesn't know that yet. But I told her that Peter knows things. [which he does. because he's Peter]

Derek: I'm pretty sure that's why Peter wanted to come here. [gets up and motions for Cora to follow him to a bookcase. He reaches up on top and behind some books he pulls out a felt bag] The canister they caught the notgitsune had these in them originally. [he holds them out for Cora to hold]

Cora: [reaches out to take them from him, cradling it for a moment, unsure if she wants to open it, but she can feel the curl of the claws through the bag] Mom's?

Derek: Yeah. This is what Peter and I went looking for.

Cora: [she doesn't open the bag, just lets them sit in her hands] Did you ... [she can hazard a guess why Peter went with him]

Derek: They're Mom's.

Cora: Yeah, but ... did you ... talk to her?

Derek: I did. Or, a part of her. I don't know if it was her or just a memory of her left behind.

Cora: [nods a bit. Her eyes are still on the bag in her hand]

Derek: She told me about Malia.

Cora: So that's how Peter found out?

Derek: I didn't tell him.

Cora: [her brow furrows] Lydia, then. It had to have been.

Derek: That's what I've heard.

Cora: [nods] He probably forced her into it.