canon au } { post-s4, of apologies and making amends

[wildkingdom]

Peter: [on his couch, reclining and researching]

Malia: [after being told that Peter wasn't coming to Thanksgiving she was surprised. She thought this holiday, from what she remembered, was supposed to be all about family and considering Peter was part of Derek and Cora (and her) family, she thought he would have been there. It would have given her a reason to get out of it. But he wasn't going to be there, which bothered her more than she cared to admit. Everyone had spent all that time and effort into saving him and now he wasn't even going to do the dumb family crap. So when she has a free Saturday with nothing to do but turn all of this over in her head, so she decides to just approach it head on. Once the air is cleared, she'll feel better. Probably.

This is not her wanting to make amends. Just for the record.]

Peter: [has no idea of the whirlwind that is coming his way, so he gets up to go and get another glass of water while his computer screen is up trying to access old records of his family records to see if he can find any hints of that point of his life he doesn't remember to get a name to link to the desert wolf]

Malia: [she stares at his door for a long moment, before eventually taking a deep breath and knocking on the door]

Peter: [Stop as he's walking back, confused because no one comes to see him that doesn't have their own kay. He goes to the door and opens it slightly, then blinks.] Malia.

Malia: [her hands are in her pockets and while she has no trouble making eye contact it's still awkward. Even she could feel it] Hi.

Peter: ... Do you want to come in? [because he has no idea why she is there, but doesn't want her to feel she has to go inside]

Malia: Is Buffy here? [because that would make things a little easier than being completely alone with Peter]

Peter: No, she's not. She's working on some project.

Malia: Oh. [damnit] Why aren't you coming to Thanksgiving? [no, she's not coming inside yet]

Peter: [he sighs and steps out, so they aren't talking though a doorway] I'm not going to the pack one at Derek's because I am not a part of that pack.

Malia: That didn't stop you before.

Peter: [clasping his hands in front of his, lowering his gaze] And I'm trying to be better than the person I was before.

Malia: [she watches critically, trying to make sure his meaning and his expression matched his words and she can't tell. But he is different, that's for sure. Her arms cross in front of her chest] And that means skipping Thanksgiving.

Peter: We're actually doing something small here the day before. We... [he sighs] It's a holiday, and I don't want my presence to ruin it for everyone with things still being very recent.

Malia: [yeah. A lot of that is still recent for her too.] Okay. [so yeah, that makes sense. And that was all she needed.] I should go.

Peter: I understand. I um... I've been doing research on your mother. I haven't found much yet, but when I do, I'll have Stiles bring it to you.

Malia: [and at that she stops, because her mother is the thing she wants to know about more than anything else. She grits her teeth for a moment unsure of what to say] Okay.

Peter: I'm not trying to trick you into spending time with me. I know you’re mad, and I don't blame you. But I did promise I would find information for you, and I'm not going to back away from that.

Malia: Good. [because she would have made you give it to her anyway] It's what you owe me. [and after that they can be done - or at least that's what she thinks. The scales will be balanced and she can walk away]

Peter: [nods. He licks his lips, then sighs. There is a lot of feelings coming out in the back of his mind that he hadn't touched on yet and wasn't sure how to sort out] It's the least I can do.

Malia: [she nods again in agreement, before setting her jaw for a moment and turning to leave. She doesn't really have anything else to say to him that won't end in a whole lot of yelling and snarling so she's walking away before she gets there. Stiles would be proud]

Peter: [he watches her go, sadly, and there is a sad sigh before he turns to go back inside where he is basically hiding from the world]

Buffy: [and eventually she returns from her adventure, letting herself in and moving to settle on the couch next to him, watching his face for a moment] You seem more broody than when I left.

Peter: [sighs and rubs at his face] Malia came to ask why I wasn't going to the pack Thanksgiving.

Buffy: She actually ... came here instead of scowling the question at Stiles? [there's a beat] Believe it or not, that's progress.

Peter: I know. I know, but I wasn't ready for the feelings that came with it.

Buffy: [shifts a bit, leaning in to rest her chin on his shoulder] Wanna talk about it?

Peter: I do, I just don't know how to word it. Which is new for me since I usually like to talk.

Buffy: [smirks] Good or bad feelings?

Peter: I don't know.

Buffy: [takes a breath] Okay, let's ... start simple. Finish this sentence: When I saw Malia, I felt ...

Peter: Surprised that she wanted to see me.

Buffy: What about after that?

Peter: Sad that I had destroyed any chance I had of being her father.

Buffy: Why do you think that?

Peter: You mean beyond the fact I was trying to manipulate her into being a killer and then tossing her across the room.

Buffy: Yes, aside from that.

Peter: Actually, those are two of the biggest reasons.

Buffy: If part of her didn't want to see you, she would have picked up the phone.

Peter: She just wants the information on her mother, and then she won't need anything from me anymore.

Buffy: Again, she could pick up the phone for that.

Peter: [nods] Then I don't know what she's expecting, or wanting.

Buffy: [there's a pause, one finger tracing against his arm for a moment] I know that amends with some people have been harder than others, but ... have you apologized to her yet?

Peter: Except for this surprise moment, I haven't spoken to her. I haven't known how to even start.

Buffy: Then maybe that's how you should start. [she takes a breath] You forget that she's currently where you are. She went from all instinct and self-preservation to having to deal with human emotions and complex relationships. She's hurt and she's feeling alienated and scared - not just from you but from everyone.

Peter: [nods] She doesn't even want to be around me, Buffy. And I'm not going to apologize over a phone.

Buffy: Why didn't you say it while she was here?

Peter: I don't know. [he thinks] Maybe... I don't know how.

Buffy: Apologizing is hard. But at least you know what you're apologizing for.

Peter: I don't think I've really ever apologized for anything in my life until now.

Buffy: In that case, "I'm sorry" is usually a good place to start. Don't try to justify it. Just ... be sorry. Let her see that. I know most of the time it feels like a weakness, but this time it won't be.

Peter: [nods] I just need to see her again.

Buffy: And you will. You said it yourself that she wants the information on her mom.

Peter: But I shouldn't let this wait until then. As it is, I'm finding nothing.

Buffy: Maybe you should go see her, then.

Peter: ... Would you go with me? I don't think she wanted to be alone with me.

Buffy: [she nods] Of course.

Peter: Then let's go now, before I lose my nerve.

Buffy: [nods as she shifts to get up with him, brushing herself off before hesitating] Do you have a cover story with her legal dad? Just in case he's ... there?

Peter: I was mentoring her in her classwork to help her get caught up, contract from the school so no fee to him.

Buffy: Okay then.

Peter: [goes to grab a sweater to wear. He isn't wearing the V-necks as much outside of the house. Even if the sweater is a smaller v neck. because wow, it's his fashion style and not a sign of Satan, people]

Buffy: [and off they go to the Tate house where thankfully her father is not home to make judgy faces at Peter. The light in Malia's bedroom is on, however, so someone is home.]

Peter: Just stay in her eyeshot so that she knows you're there, but not that you're here to make me do this? I just... I don't want her to get the wrong impression. [and yeah, Malia could probably hear his nervous request]

Buffy: [nods a bit before moving and sitting on the hood of the car.] I'll be right here. [that way she's not far from him either]

Malia: [picks up voices and she tenses when she hears Peter's, not entirely sure what he's doing here]

Peter: [nods, nervous, but he rings the doorbell and is just trying to figure out what to say]

Malia: [debates not answering the door, but she knows he knows she's there, so eventually she just huffs, getting to her feet and making her way to the door. The look on her face her trying to look untouchable, and she feels a little better knowing that Buffy is within punching distance, but there's still a whole lot of uncertainty she hasn't gotten good at hiding yet] What?

Peter: [he licks his lips] Just... I need to say something and I didn't know how earlier. Do you…do you know how to tell if someone is lying to you yet?

Malia: [swallows a bit, before nodding]

Peter: Good. [he takes a deep breath., then looks at her, his eyes not even trying to hide the confused sadness in them] I just... I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I should have been better to you than I was, and I can't justify at all what I did to you. I should have been better than that to you... for you, and I wasn't, and I'm sorry.

Malia: [okay that was ... not what she was expecting. She shifts awkwardly against the doorframe for a moment, trying to process that. It was real, as far as she could tell, but she still doesn't really know how to respond to apologies. Her dad - her other dad - all he could seem to do was apologize when she came back, and she was never really sure for what. She was the killer, not him. So after a long moment of silence, she just says ...] Okay.

Peter: I haven't been very fatherly, though you already have one so you don't need that from me I guess. But you deserve more from me. And I'm sorry I failed you on that.

Malia: I don't care about that. [him being her dad. Because he's right, she already has one, she didn't need another. She's still not sure how she feels about her dad not being her dad to begin with.] You used me. [which, she's still kind of trying to grasp what the word means and it isn't easy. It's subtle and subjective, but she feels like it applies here] I thought you were helping me and you were just trying to get me to trust you.

Peter: [he nods] I know. [he wants to justify it, so much. But he's clamping down on that urge] I believe Allison told Lydia once that my help always came with a price. That I only helped when it benefited me. I don't remember when that changed in me, but it wasn't always like that. I wasn't. And I'm trying to be better. And I do want to help you, if you still want it. For you, and nothing else.

Malia: [regards him again for a long moment, unsure of what to say, really. She doesn't know what to make of any of this, but part of her, selfishly, doesn't want to give up on it either. Even if she feels like she was stupid for wanting it, it was the only thing in the pack that was hers.] I'll think about it.

Peter: [nods] Take all the time you need. [he pauses a moment] And um... if you think you can get away, I'm apparently hosting the Hale family Thanksgiving at my house Wednesday evening after school lets out. If you think you can come, and not get in trouble for it... I would love you to be there.

Malia: Maybe. [it's not a yes but it's not a no either] It's my first Thanksgiving since ... [you know] I think my dad might want to do something. I don't even know if I can go to the pack Thanksgiving.

Peter: No, I understand. I just... if you want to come, you are invited. [there's a hesitant smile. He should go, before he messes this up, right?] So um... you have homework, so I should probably go...

Malia: [nods in agreement] Yeah. I should do that.

Peter: [nods] Good night. [he takes a step back, sticking his hands into his pockets and turning to head back to Buffy. He is slouched and no longer the overconfident presence that he used to be.]

Buffy: [gives him a small smile as he walks back, reaching for his wrists and pulling him in closer] How'd that feel?

Peter: [gives her a sigh and looks over his shoulder at the house] Better. I feel better about it. I feel there's more of a chance now to fix it.

Buffy: Good. [she slides off the hood of the car, pushing up onto her toes once she's on her feet to kiss him] Want to go home?

Peter: [sighs softly in the kiss, and that gets him to relax a bit from the ball of nerves he has been] Yeah, home sounds good.

Buffy: Okay. [and she'll let him go to get back into the car to go home]

Peter: [and he's quiet for the rest of the trip home] It's a good idea for me not to be at Derek's next week, right?

Buffy: [glances over before resting a hand on his arm] This time, yeah. I think it's still a little too soon for a lot of them.

Peter: I don't think it'll not be time for me to be in the same room as Laura. I highly doubt she will accept any apology I make.

Buffy: Maybe not right away. But she will one day. She needs time too. She's ... got a lot on her plate right now.

Peter: Is she... is she adjusting okay?

Buffy: Jordan's been helping her out a lot. Giving her something somewhat normal? But whatever deal Dawn made is backfiring and she's worried about what could come out of it as a result.

Peter: Backfiring? How?

Buffy: They're saying that by breaking the memory spell Dawn broke her original deal. Now they're giving her new terms, and if she doesn't follow through, they're going to take Laura back.

Peter: What terms are those?

Buffy: She has to figure out a way to remove the Mark of Cain from Dean "the Idiot" Winchester without transferring it to someone else or killing him.

Peter: Well, the Mark of Cain was placed on Cain by God when he killed his brother. Perhaps to remove it, Dean would need to theoretically save his brother.

Buffy: Been there, done that. Repeatedly.

Peter: Physically, yes. But Sam's still trapped in the world, he's always in danger. He's never really safe.

Buffy: Sam's never going to be safe. Neither of them are. People keep thinking of the supernatural as a separate world, but it's not. It's always going to be there.

Peter: I know that as well as you do. But there's living in it, or living against it. And those boys live against it.

Buffy: They don't really have a choice.

Peter: Which makes it into a pretty impossible thing to accomplish.

Buffy: They'll find another way. Derek and Dawn are pouring over the books in Scotland, and Dean and Sam have pulled off more impossible things.

Peter: What if there is none? They'll really come back and take Laura?

Buffy: I don't know. [her thumb comes up to brush against her forehead] They weren't that clear on that.

Peter: [nods, and nope, not thinking at all about finding a way to transfer that onto him. Nope, not at all in that silent contemplative stare out the window]

Buffy: [eyes him for a moment, because nope. She won't let him do that] Look, what they have to do is basically save Dean's soul. If anyone can do it, it's Dawn and Sam.

Peter: Yeah, but if there's a time frame involved...

Buffy: They haven't given one. So as long as Dean stays alive, they have time.

Peter: So would putting Dean in cold storage work as a solution?

Buffy: .... No, because Dean won't put up with it.

Peter: Does he have a choice?

Buffy: The longer he's got the Mark without putting it to use, the more aggressive and violent he gets. Believe it or not, he's better off on the job.

Peter: And making it that he needs to continue to live against the life, and not in it.

Buffy: Yep. And if he dies he becomes a demon, which is what the Powers that Be don't want. Sam's already cured him once, I don't think that same trick will work twice.

Peter: [yup, maybe a bit annoyed at that]

Buffy: [picks up on that] What?

Peter: Laura's already paid the price for someone else's mistake once. She shouldn't be forced to pay for it again.

Buffy: I don't disagree and neither does Dawn. Which is why they'll fix this.

Peter: They better. [but he's still not happy]

Buffy: [she doesn't really blame him] If you want to help, I don't think they'd turn down the hand.

Peter: If I can help keep my niece from being put back in the grave I put her in - of course I want to help.

Buffy: Then we go into research mode. Maybe there's something about it in the archives?

Peter: I guess my desert wolf research will be put on hold for a while.

Buffy: [pauses for a moment] Maybe you could make a deal with a certain sheriff's deputy who's become rather fond of her? He look into the Desert Wolf while you work on keeping her alive?

Peter: [thinks] Maybe. If he's willing to even talk to me.

Buffy: If it's about Laura, I think he will.

Peter: [nods] See if he'll talk with me then.

Buffy: I will. Later. I think we've had enough intense, complicated feelings for one night.

Peter: Almost makes me miss having the ability not to feel them. [he looked at her] Almost.

Buffy: [smirks a bit at that, before leaning in a bit] I have a few good distraction ideas.

Peter: [looks at her, eyebrow raised a moment before he chuckles] I'm sure you do.

Buffy: [glances out the windshield as they pull up to his building] Come inside and I can show you.

Peter: Well, it is my apartment.

Buffy: [a beat] I'm trying to be flirty and seductive here. You could just pretend and go with it.

Peter: [he chuckled through his nose] Why don't we go inside and you can show me then.

Buffy: Better. [and with that she'll get out of the car to head back upstairs]

Peter: [and he will follow, always like a wolf hunting his prey playfully]

Buffy: [and she will get them inside, turning around to put her back against the door, before pulling him in to kiss her]

Peter: [and he will step in, leaning down to kiss her. He's gotten more confident of himself at least in one aspect of his life]

Buffy: [she likes his confidence here, for the record. She pushes up on her toes a bit to meet him easier, arms snaking up around his neck to pull him closer as she used the door for leverage]

Peter: [here, he'll make it better and lift her. Less leaning down, her legs can wrap around his hips which brings them closer - win-win for everyone]

Buffy: [oh, yes, much better. Her legs slipped around his waist, hooking around his back to pull him in as she deepens the kiss]

Peter: [trying not to lose he balance as he smirks against her lips, one hand for balance against the wall, the other threading up into her hair as he kissed her hard]

Buffy: [hums softly into the kiss, her hands gripping his shoulders for leverage as she rocked her hips down against his]

Peter: [groaned against her lips, and then pulled his head back to instead kiss along her jaw]

Buffy: [tips her head back to give him better access, her fingers coming up and sliding through his hair]

Peter: [and nope, he's just going to grind against her nice and hard as he kisses trail along her jaw to her neck]

Buffy: [she moans softly at the press of him, leaning back against the wall for more leverage and pushing up to meet his motions]

Peter: [groans against, and then growls against her ear] Sometimes I really hate the days you decide to wear pants.

Buffy: [she chuckles softly, her mouth tipping forward and letting her teeth graze against his jaw] You do have claws.

Peter: And you get pissed when I ruin your clothes.

Buffy: Mmmm. Not this time.

Peter: [alright then. that will be the feeling of his hands going to push at her hips, finding a way to shred them without cutting her and basically her pants are now fashionable chaps. Then the goes to work on his own]

Buffy: [at least they're still fashionable. She moves her hands lower to help him, lifting her hips to give him more room]

Peter: [they don't need a condom, right? Because preeeetty sure he's not going to stop unless she tells him too as his pants are down and he's rubbing against her nice and hard.]

Buffy: [nope, they're fine, she's careful about that. She moans softly at the press of him against her, nibbling at his lips as she hooks her ankles to pulled him closer]

Peter: [good, because he will quickly press himself up inside of her, hard and deep and pushing her against the door as he does it. And then he does it again, and again...]

Buffy: [She rocks her hips down on each thrust, using all her Slayer skills to keep herself upright and working against him. The angle is good and she keeps pressing down against him, eventually breaking the kiss and dragging her teeth lower against his neck]

Peter: [there is a soft growl from that, not a bad one, but a possessive one as she does that, and he just started to go a bit harder, a bit faster, and pressing his cheek against her head]

Buffy: [the change in pressure draws a soft cry from her fingers digging into his shoulders to hold on for the ride. It takes her a moment to adjust to the change before she's working against him again. her fingers curling in his hair as she starts to get closer to the edge]

Peter: [he's close too, not bothering to control it and he just lets it come and wash over him]

Buffy: [falls over easily with him, slumping back against the wall as she comes down and closing her eyes as she catches her breath]

Peter: [he pants against her shoulder, kissing her there as he catches his breath]

Buffy: [she hums a bit in response, turning and pressing a kiss to his temple]

Peter: [there's a soft noise, using his body weight against hers to hold them both up] Now I’m better.

Buffy: [she hums a bit at that before nodding] Good.

Peter: Do you want to go to bed?

Buffy: [nods a bit] I think bed would be good.

Peter: [debates a moment, then gives a quick shrug of one shoulder and nope, he's just going to carry her right like they were to the bedroom.]

Buffy: [smirks a bit at that, lacing her arms back around his shoulders loosely] You know you will have to put me down so I can get rid of the scraps formerly known as my clothing.

Peter: You can do that when you're in bed.

Buffy: Sounds good.

Peter: [and he's going to get her there and lay her down gently]

Buffy: [pulls away just enough to pull off her clothes before stretching out on the bed next to him]

Peter: [lays on his side, one arm propping his head up, the other just lazily running up and down her body]

Buffy: [she turns into his hand, moving closer and one hand coming up to brush against his cheek] I'm proud of you, by the way.

Peter: For?

Buffy: Doing what you did with Malia. I know that wasn't easy.

Peter: No, it wasn’t. But it was the right thing to do. [he sighs] I wish I knew why Talia took her from me. It had to have happened before you even moved into Beacon Hills.

Buffy: [she nods] She's Cora's age. Cora was eight when we got here, so it was way before me.

Peter: I still would have been in my early twenties. I just don't understand.

Buffy: I think the only way we could understand, is to talk to your sister. [and obviously, that's not going to happen right now]

Peter: I'm pretty sure the Powers that Be aren't going to be bringing her back anytime soon for me.

Buffy: [shakes her head] Probably not. [reaches up a bit to brush her hand against his face] But we'll find her mother, and we'll figure it out.

Peter: .... [he nods, but his eyes show he's still thinking even in his silence]

Buffy: [her thumb brushes his cheekbone before moving closer to kiss him] Come on. I think we need a nap.

Peter: A nap sounds good. [and he'll kiss her back, going to lay down more]

Buffy: [and with that she'll shift and curl into his arms, closing her eyes to drift off to sleep]

Peter: [and he will hold her, still thinking for a moment, but her body warmth will eventually lull him to sleep as well]