regency au } { of healing and rebuilding trust

[wildkingdom]

Liam: [and finally one day he is going to just... follow her into the garden. Not knowing what to say, but wanting to talk to her]

Malia: [and she's so used to spending most of her days alone that it doesn't take her long to pick up on the fact that there's someone else there] Why are you following me?

Liam: I... I just wanted to see if you were okay.

Malia: [her lips purse for a moment before she glances away] I'm fine.

Liam: You don't look fine.

Malia: What do you care?

Liam: Because I do.

Malia: I'm fine, Liam. Leave me alone.

Liam: [he wants to disobey, but she's a lady and he's a knight so he just sighs and goes to leave]

Malia: [she grits her teeth for a moment, before she glances back at him] What is it about me that makes me so easy to betray?

Liam: I didn't betray you.

Malia: You stole from my family. What would you call it?

Liam: I was a kid and I didn't know better. I made a mistake. But I never betrayed YOU.

Malia: [she shakes her head] Betraying my family is betraying me. If you cared for me, you wouldn't have hurt them.

Liam: I was twelve, Malia!

Malia: What does that matter? It's old enough that you should have known better.

Liam: I didn't grow up with parents, Malia. I grew up in a science lab as a test subject! You really think I learn right and wrong there?

Malia: You lived with my family for over a year!

Liam: Yeah, and what was I told to do? Lie. Spy.

Malia: Not steal! Not from us. Not TO us. That's what loyalty is, Liam.

Liam: [looks down] I didn't know that.

Malia: [looks away as she goes to sit on one of the benches, staring into the trees] Everyone I trust that isn't family betrays me. Whether they mean to or not.

Liam: And the people who don't become family.

Malia: But they are not there because of me.

Liam: I wish I hadn't done it, you know.

Malia: But you did.

Liam: Doesn't mean I never stopped being your friend. You just stopped being mine. I still tried to always do right by you.

Malia: [she glances back at him] You don't steal from your friends. The moment you took from my family you stopped being my friend.

Liam: So you'll never forgive me?

Malia: Why should I? So you can have a chance to do it again?

Liam: I won't betray you again, I promise.

Malia: Prove it.

Liam: I will.

Malia: Fine.

Liam: [and he's uncomfortable, so he's going to just... lower his head and go to leave]

Malia: [sorry Liam, she's still angry and is not trusting people that aren't pack and you aren't pack yet]

Liam: [and he's going to just walk around the manor, trying not to look like a kicked puppy]

Laura: [and she'll just sigh]

Liam: [and he will look over at her and give her a small smile] Good afternoon Lady Hale.

Laura: Good afternoon, Liam. No luck with Malia?

Liam: She's still upset about Theo, and my presence isn't helping I'm afraid.

Laura: I'm sure if you give her time she will calm down.

Liam: Have Lord Peter ever let something go after a while?

Laura: He married it.

Liam: [chuckles] I don't think I'm going to be that lucky.

Laura: You're young. You have time.

Liam: Somehow I think that there's no amount of time that is going to lead to being forgiven.

Laura: Would you like one of us to talk to her?

Liam: No. I need to earn her trust again. You guys can't force that, especially after what Theo did.

Laura: [she nods] Well, give her time to get used to having you around again, at least.

Liam: [nods] Do you need time too?

Laura: [she shakes her head] Sacrificing your freedom for us was enough.

Liam: [there's a small smile] I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Laura: You may have to, now that you're one of our knights.

Liam: I took the oath knowing that.

Laura: Then we'll see how well you'll have to keep it.

Liam: [nods] I should see if any of the other knights need anything.

Laura: [she nods] I will see you at dinner.

Liam: Yes. m'Lady.

Laura: [and she will head off to spend time with her children, probably, and Malia will sulk out in the gardens]

Peter: [and he will eventually go to get her for dinner]

Malia: [is sitting in the garden, playing with one of the flowers, and when she catches his scent, she stiffens] I'm not hungry.

Peter: [sighs at her stiffening] Are you sure?

Malia: Yes. I'll eat later. [she just really doesn't want to sit at the table with Liam]

Peter: Would you like me to wait and eat with you?

Malia: [she shrugs] Up to you.

Peter: Do you want to talk yet?

Malia: There's nothing to talk about.

Peter: There's always something to talk about.

Malia: [her hands drop to her lap, and she turns to face away from the flowers, looking at her hands] What is wrong with me?

Peter: That is a loaded question. [he goes to rub her back gently] In what context do you feel something is wrong?

Malia: [her eyes cloud for a moment and she looks down] Why can't I make friends who actually want me?

Peter: [he licks his lips a moment] Well, when you look at the other girls in court, what do you see?

Malia: [she shrugs] Other girls. I don't know.

Peter: I think you've told me you don't like how they gossip and talk about petty things that don't mean anything to you.

Malia: [she nods]

Peter: And the young men are only looking for a quiet, beautiful woman with no opinions and to obey them?

Malia: Something like that. I've been told I'm too blunt.

Peter: Well, you are. You know what you want, and you don't settle for things that you don't care for. You're very straightforward and honest, and don't play games with people. Those are all good qualities, sweetheart. But they aren't ones that humans always understand.

Malia: And the ones who do always seem to use me somehow.

Peter: Everything Theo did was calculating. He used you, yes, from the start and I think your desire to have a friend let you not see it. You don't play games, so it's hard for you to see them. Even I didn't suspect it, more because I saw you happy and didn't want to think badly.

Malia: Why do people do that?

Peter: Because they want power. And they see what we have as power.

Malia: So they think they can just manipulate whoever they want to get it?

Peter: Yes, they do. And many men like that succeed. That's how the world was conquered way back when.

Malia: I don't want to feel like this.

Peter: Well, let's focus on how you want to feel, and we can figure out the steps to get you there.

Malia: [she pauses for a moment, before playing with her fingers] I don't want to feel alone.

Peter: Then I think we need to find you some friends. You may do better with more wolves your age. Perhaps we could take a few trips to the other packs around, introduce you to others like you?

Malia: [swallows for a moment, before nodding]

Peter: Okay. Then I think we'll talk with Lady Kate and your cousins and see if instead of us doing the tourneys for the rest of the year, we will go and visit other packs in Eastern Europe.

Malia: [she nods again] Thank you.

Peter: Anything for you, sweetheart. Just... don't close yourself off. It will make it harder for people to get to know you if you refuse to open up out of the fear they could be another Theo.

Malia: Or Liam.

Peter: Ah. [he had been waiting for that] You know how you see things very straightforward?

Malia: Yes.

Peter: What Liam did is not as straightforward as you believe it to be. You know how some humans get drunk all the time and do stupid things, and people say that they can't help themselves and that they are addicts?

Malia: [she nods]

Peter: Gambling is another type of addiction. He truly didn't know what he was doing because, in a way, he was sick. That's why we sent him away. Not just because he had upset us and stolen the silver. He needed to go somewhere to really learn how to overcome that sickness. The knight we sent him too had a similar incident and helped Liam learn not to be tempted. But it's going to be something Liam will always struggle with, and he will make mistakes again. We know this. But it will be how he handles it as a man that will determine how we deal with him as an adult now, instead of the child he was then.

Malia: [she stares at her hands some more, before looking away] That doesn't make it hurt less.

Peter: No, it doesn't. He was your first real friend. Someone you trusted. And you took it very personally and I should have maybe tried to console you better. He didn't mean to hurt you. He didn't mean to hurt any of us. And he knows now what he really did and you can see how much he wants to be your friend again where he was willing to give his life to protect you.

Malia: To protect us. [while he said himself it was for her, she has a hard time accepting that it was just for her]

Peter: No, you. [he tilts her chin up to look at him] Every time we went to a tourney that he was at, he tried to find you. He tried to warn me about Theo but I didn't listen. He was there because of you.

Malia: [she looks up at him and shakes her head] How am I supposed to trust him?

Peter: Let him earn it, but don't hide from him. He can't earn trust back if he's trying to get it from a rock.

Malia: [she glances down and nods. she won't make any promises but maybe she will try]

Peter: Plus, you shouldn't hide even when people have hurt you. You need to just push those angry and sad feelings down and force yourself to be pleasant and do your normal life. Don't let them see you hurt.

Malia: I'm not good at that.

Peter: You will need to learn. Your cousin Laura is good at it.

Malia: I know.

Peter: So is Cora. [runs a hand along her hair]

Malia: Cora lost her temper on Lord Whittemore.

Peter: She was protecting Lord Stilinski.

Malia: So I can only be angry if it's on the behalf of someone else?

Peter: No, you can be angry when it's on your behalf. But after your moment of anger, you can't let it take your life away from you. Otherwise you will always be hiding in this garden.

Malia: I wasn't planning on hiding here forever.

Peter: How long were you going to hide?

Malia: [she shrugs] Until I felt better.

Peter: How about we go raid the kitchen and make some iced cream?

Malia: [she glances over at him before nodding. Iced cream is a start]

Peter: [and he will smile and go lead her off to do just that]

Malia: [and we will skip?]