regency au } { of mating bonds and conflicting feelings

[impetere]

Peter: [he gave her a few weeks to recover from the birth of her daughter before coming to call. He needed to wait for the right moment, and Derek decided to take Stiles on a hunting trip for the day. He waits until mid-morning, and then searches her out]

Cora: [she doesn't really stray from her family's suite of rooms much right after the births, but today, since Stiles was out, she was spending some time with Ben and helping him get to know his new sister. They're currently in their private sitting room on the floor, Claudia on her back, while Ben quietly gives her his hand] Be gentle with her, Ben. She's not as strong as you are.

Peter: [good. With the children there, she can't just walk out of the room on him. He knocks, standing outside the door] Cora, it's your uncle. May I enter?

Cora: [blinks, surprised] Yes, come in.

Peter: [and he will enter, and then smile down at his niece and the two children] Hello, my beauties. How are we doing today?

Cora: Well enough. [Ben glances up from his sister and waves. Claudia can't even see him but makes a noise almost as though she knows she's being talked to] Is everything alright?

Peter: Oh yes, everything is fine. I just thought I would come and check on you and the little one.

Cora: Oh. [and she relaxes some] We're doing fine.

Peter: Good. And you have recovered well from Claudia's birth.

Cora: [she nods] For the most part. The lack of sleep is still not ideal, but it is what it is.

Peter: [he nods, smiling at the baby girl before looking up at Cora] I noticed that Lord Stilinski fared very well during the birth.

Cora: [oh look, she's going to keep a lot of her focus on the baby for a moment] That's good.

Peter: Yes. Much better than your brother fares. He is always a nervous wreck, worried about Lady Elena and clenching his fists every five minutes.

Cora: I'm sure Stiles was nervous enough. He's just gotten good at not showing them. [noble life and all that]

Peter: Mm,m, yes. But I would still think that he would have sympathy pains for his wife. It's pretty instinctual.

Cora: I wouldn't know. [why are they talking about this]

Peter: [sighs. Yup, he's going to have to spell it out for her] Cora, I'm concerned.

Cora: About what? I said I'm fine.

Peter: And you are still in love with your husband?

Cora: [glares a bit at that] Not that that is any of your concern, but yes.

Peter: It is of mine, and your sister's concern, when you have been married for five years and yet to mate your husband to bring him into the pack.

Cora: [thinly] I wasn't aware that was a requirement.

Peter: [raises one eyebrow coolly] It is an instinctual reaction, my dear. We worry that you are not satisfied with your choice.

Cora: [she's aware. she's all too aware of the ache in her jaw at times when they're together, and she knows that she should. but she also knows the risks of a human mate and there are too many risks for her to think about in terms of her children] It has nothing to do with my feelings for Stiles. I'm very happy with my choice.

Peter: Does Lord Stilinski know of this choice you have made for the both of you?

Cora: Why does it matter? [and the answer to that is "not recently" but she sets her jaw and tries to reel herself back in again] There are risks. And they're risks I'm not willing to take right now. And I didn't think that I needed to mate Stiles for him to be part of the pack.

Peter: [he nods, and then reaches out to let Claudia take ahold of his finger] Reasons similar to what happened to Malia's mother?

Cora: [and she looks down her cheeks hot for a moment] More what happened to Father. [because she can feel it. she's not strong like Peter was. If she lost Stiles, she would follow him the same way that Talia did Thomas, and she doesn't want to leave her children orphans] Especially when I think that part of him is still considering asking for the bite.

Peter: He is still worried about his mother's disease. [nods]

Cora: [she nods] It's not that entirely, but yes.

Peter: Someone rejecting the bite, if he ever chooses that path, is very rare. And if you were mated to him, you would be able to know if he was in trouble. We also do give some extra healing benefits to them, allowing them to live longer, healthier lives.

Cora: But if he gets robbed on the road, or catches pneumonia, or gets poisoned again and things go wrong then ... my children are orphans and I can't risk that. They're too young.

Peter: Those are ifs, Cora. He doesn't travel the road alone and knows not to eat his cousin's cooking. [he gave her a small smile]

Cora: [she knows that, but she keeps her eyes down as she shakes her head] It's my choice. And I'm not ready to.

Peter: [nods] It is your choice, Cora, but it also his. I understood not doing it for the first year after my wife... died in childbirth. I had hoped you would have gotten over that fear by now.

Cora: [yeah, well, she doesn't want to talk about this anymore. so she'll just pick up her daughter and go to put her back in her bassinet] Is there anything else?

Peter: [and he will distract himself with smoothing down Ben's hair] Yes. Your children, no matter what happens in the near or distant future, will always have your family there for them for the rest of their lives. [and he will pull himself up to standing] A family that will always love them, and you and Lord Stilinski.

Cora: [she places Claudia down gently, before swallowing hard] I know. [but it's not the same as having their mother. she knows that intimately]

Peter: [and he can feel that and will walk over to her, a gentle hand pulling her closer as he leans down to kiss the top of her head] You know she would have been so proud of you.

Cora: I miss her so much. [and she doesn't really have very many real memories of her left. she doesn't want to be that to her children. but it's getting harder to hold back the tears she's been fighting since the conversation started and her hands come up quick to swipe them away]

Peter: I didn't mean to upset you, Cora. I've just always considered you like my daughter, and I've been worried about you and Lord Stilinski for awhile now.

Cora: Why? Why does this matter so much?

Peter: Because the bond that comes from the mating is important to a pack. Not only does it create an intimate bond between you and Lord Stilinski, it also gives us a feel of him in our pack bond. If he was in danger, the rest of us would be able to know too. We would be able to find him and help protect him. And, it also protects him from other creatures because they would be able to scent your mark on him, and they would think twice about trying to harm a mate of a Hale.

Cora: [is quiet for a moment] I'm still not ready.

Peter: I understand. But think about it, and talk with him.

Cora: [she nods, but doesn't say anything else]

Peter: [and he will just kiss the top of her head again, and then slip away, giving Ben a hug on his way out]

Cora: [and she will try to push the thoughts away, take Ben and sit on a lounge to read with him a bit]

Stiles: [and eventually he and Derek will return. They had a good hunt, and there will be venison tonight for dinner. He will head up to his chambers, face still flushed with excitement. When he enters, he will see them and smile] Hello, my love. How has your day fared?

Cora: [glances up to him and gives a small smile] Fine. We've been reading.

Stiles: Anything good?

Cora: Just a few fairy tales, that's all. [glances down to her son] Though I think he's ready for a nap.

Stiles: I can take him to his room if you wish.

Cora: Are you sure? I thought you might want to relax. [maybe take a bath?]

Stiles: I can relax once he is down. It won't take long from the look of it.

Cora: Alright. Would you like me to start a bath for you?

Stiles: [smirks] Are you saying that I smell, my lady?

Cora: [and she'll look slightly sheepish] You have been in the woods all day.

Stiles: [laughs as he comes to get his son from her] Then yes, that would be nice. Perhaps you could even join me.

Cora: Maybe. [though ... not for fun adult things. at least not for right now. it's still too soon after the birth]

Stiles: I will be back shortly. [and he will carry his half-asleep son out to his room]

Cora: [and she will go to run the bath to his liking and will be sitting on the edge of the tub when he gets back, running her fingers through the water idly, her mind clearly somewhere else]

Stiles: [and he will return and start to take off his dirty clothing] Something on your mind?

Cora: [ glances back to him, before, very softly, because Stiles is one of the very few people who gets to see the more vulnerable sides of her] You don't feel like I don't love you, do you?

Stiles: [and his hands will stop, and he will look up at her, confused] Of course not. Why would you think that?

Cora: [part of her is relieved, because of all the people to make that assumption, Stiles is the one she cares about the most. she doesn't want him to think that her feelings aren't real, because they are] Something my uncle said earlier. It's ... a werewolf thing.

Stiles: [he takes a minute, then nods] He wants to know why you haven't mated me yet, yes?

Cora: [and her eyes look down at the water again, not really saying one way or another, but that may as well confirm it]

Stiles: [and he will go to sit next to her, taking her hand] When we married, it was one of the things that I was told to expect. When it didn't happen, I was worried. Your brother talked to me about it when I asked if I had done something wrong, and he felt that perhaps you were afraid to after what happened to your parents and your uncle.

Cora: I didn't feel the need to then. [they were too young and she still had so many other things to figure out] It's not ... me deciding to bite you, it's more than that. And he's ... not wrong.

Stiles: Is it something you want to talk to me about?

Cora: [she swallows, before glancing away for a moment] The water's getting cold. [she'll get there, she just doesn't want him to waste his bath]

Stiles: It won't be the first time I've taken a cold bath.

Cora: ... Stiles ...

Stiles: Okay, okay. I will take my bath. [he will squeeze her hand, then get up to finish undressing before slipping into the warm bath water]

Cora: [a pause] Would you still like me to join you?

Stiles: I would. We don't have a lot of time together, just the two of us, since Claudia's birth.

Cora: [she nods and slips out of her own clothes before sliding in after him, sitting so that her back is resting against his chest and he can put his arms around her]

Stiles: [which he will, hugging her to his chest and resting his chin on her shoulder]

Cora: [she's quiet at first, trying to process her thoughts before managing to spit them out] My strongest memories of my mother are from right after my father died and she ... she wasn't herself. It took a few weeks after for her to pass to, and in the in between it was like something had taken her and hollowed her out. Her body was still there and moving, but she was already gone.

Stiles: [and he will stay quiet, kissing her shoulder and just holding her]

Cora: Peter wasn't much better. He eventually found his way out the other side, but he wasn't the same after that. Even so, it wouldn't matter. I'm not Peter. And if I did this, then I lost you, I don't think I would be able to push through it. And I don't want that to be how our children remember me.

Stiles: [and he's just quiet, letting her talk it out.]

Cora: I'm sorry. But I can't.

Stiles: I understand, Cora.

Cora: Well, you're probably the only one.

Stiles: Your family is based on a lot of old traditions, Cora. I've been here awhile now and I see it. I believe that they are worried that something bad will happen by not doing it, more than they are worried that something could happen because of it.

Cora: I know.

Stiles: My only worry is that you are hurting yourself in doing this.

Cora: I'm not. [at least, she doesn't think she is, but her hand goes up absently to rub her jaw]

Stiles: [and he sees that] Does your jaw hurt?

Cora: [she glances back at him and drops her hand] No. [not now, anyway]

Stiles: [nods, his hands just hugging her back to him] I understand your choice, Cora. Part of me feels we should have talked about this awhile ago, because there was a time I did think that something was wrong with me that you didn't want me in that way. That's why I went to your brother for consul then. I know my being human creates a larger risk of meeting an untimely death, and I don't want you to feel our children would suffer.

Cora: [she glances back to him, because with the way he set that up...] But?

Stiles: But I also believe that you are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. Now, I'm not asking for you to change your mind, Cora. I respect your choice, and knowing about my mother's disease, there is that chance. But is that the only reason you don't want to do this?

Cora: [she nods, because it's the big one. part of her might worry about him knowing how terrified she really is all the time, but Stiles already has figured that out at this point, likely. She misses when she used to be fearless]

Stiles: Now I have a question for you.

Cora: You just asked me one. [her tone is light but the sense of teasing isn't really there]

Stiles: [he chuckles, leaning his head back] Another one, then.

Cora: Of course.

Stiles: [and he will take a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling] I know you love me, and our life we have. But when you are thinking about things like this... do you regret marrying me, and not someone that is more like you that you wouldn't have to worry about as much? [being a werewolf]

Cora: No. [it's an easy question to answer] I've only ever wanted you.

Stiles: [he relaxes a bit at that] Because sometimes, I worry that by being human, I'm a burden. When I'm hurt, or sick... knowing that it is my genes that may make the kids human and not werewolves like you... that it gives you more stress than you expected in this marriage. That you're always afraid for me.

Cora: [she tips her head back a bit against his shoulder] Having children was always going to be stressful. It wouldn't have mattered who I married.

Stiles: I just wish you weren't always so afraid now.

Cora: I don't mean to be.

Stiles: Is there something I can do to help? Because I'm sure you don't want to always be afraid.

Cora: You do help. By being here you help, and reminding me that things aren't as spiraling as I make them out to be.

Stiles: They aren't spiraling, sweetheart. We just have a toddler.

Cora: And now an infant. And I know they're not, but ... my mind doesn't always feel that way.

Stiles: Is it because of the fear of my mother's disease?

Cora: No. It's ... everything else. Even if they become a werewolf later, they can still get sick at this age. Babies die from illness all the time. And Ben ... he wanders into everything, and I can barely keep up with him. How long does it take until he wanders into something dangerous?

Stiles: He will, Cora. But that is also how he learns. You can't protect him from the world. But there are enough people here that you have help if you just ask.

Cora: I know. But I'm the one who's supposed to protect him.

Stiles: As am I. [thinks a moment] Perhaps it's time I start teaching him to ride.

Cora: He's only three. Is he big enough?

Stiles: For a docile pony, I think so. Or to ride in front of my on Thor.

Cora: [swallows, before nodding, doing her best to force down the instinct that says he isn't] If you think it's a good idea.

Stiles: I will take good care of him.

Cora: I know you will. [she swallows] Despite how it may come across at times, I trust you more than anyone else, Stiles.

Stiles: God knows why. [teasing tone]

Cora: Because I love you. And I know you love them as much as I do.

Stiles: I love you too, Cora. More than the moon and stars. [and he will lean over her shoulder, kissing her neck]

Cora: [and she closes her eyes a bit at that] And I'm not saying that this is ... how it will be forever. I'm just not ready right now.

Stiles: If you are ever ready, just talk to me about it. I can't help if I don't know. And I'm sorry I didn't come to you with my fears. I just didn't want to add mine to yours.

Cora: That's another reason I am hesitant, honestly. We would be able to sense each other's feelings and ... [she would likely make his anxiety even worse]

Stiles: We would become a rolling ball of anxiety?

Cora: Possibly, yes.

Stiles: Maybe it is time then that I learn to deal with mine. Perhaps one of the priests, or Lady Bennett, would have an idea on what I can do.

Cora: Maybe. [she should probably do the same, but she has no idea where to start]

Stiles: The one thing that won't change is how much I love you. Or my knowledge that you love me.

Cora: [she nods] I don't care what anyone else thinks, as long as you know.

Stiles: Good. Now would you be willing to shift to your side for a bit so I can kiss you? [smile]

Cora: [her head ducks a bit at that, before doing as he asks]

Stiles: [and he will kiss her, his hand cupping her cheek gently]

Cora: [and she kisses him back in return, her hand resting against his chest]

Stiles: [and when they separate, he will ask her for the soap so that he can wash up properly]

Cora: [she will give him that, and then get up to dry off because she can hear Claudia stirring]

Stiles: [and he will smile and then start to wash himself, making sure he gets everywhere including his hair]

Cora: [and she will feed the baby and put her back down again, before curling up in bed, feeling like she may need a nap of her own after the roller coaster that was this day]

Stiles: [and he will get dressed and go sit at his desk to work on some letters quietly while she sleeps, looking over at her and smiling occasionally. Then he will smile and write out a short poem, roll it up with a ribbon and leave it on her vanity before heading downstairs to check on a few things]

Cora: [and she'll sleep for a while, but when she wakes up to find that it will make her very happy]