salvatore school } { of having trouble relating and unloading trauma

[braveandstupid]

Elena: [one morning, as they're indulging in their usual morning routine, Elena pulls up from one of her yoga poses and says:] Do you ever feel like your life has been such a train wreck that you're completely unable to relate to normal people?

Poe: [and he's sitting on a pillow on the balcony, coffee at his knee as he works on a song. He's already done his calisthenics] Um... not my entire life, no?

Elena: Oh good. So it's just me. [sighs as she moves into the next pose] I used to be good at making friends once. I swear I was.

Poe: What happened to change that?

Elena: How long do you have?

Poe: I'm on a simulator day, so not until 1. You?

Elena: Seriously? [if he's really taking her up on this, they're going to need booze. so much booze.]

Poe: Yeah. You may think you aren't good at making friends, but I'd like to think we've become friends.

Elena: [straightens before glancing over at her phone for the time] If I'm going to tell you this we're going to need burgers and booze, so maybe tonight? We can meet at that pub place we got take out from last week?

Poe: [makes a happy oo noise] Yeah, they were good.

Elena: Okay. I've got a long day, but I'll text you when I'm out of class?

Poe: Sounds like a plan. But now I want a hamburger now.

Elena: [she laughs] Hit the diner on the way to campus. I'm told by the undergrads that they have a pretty good breakfast burger that they totally did not learn because they were up all-night partying like the terrifying young person they are.

Poe: You know, I hate being the oldest in the class.

Elena: You and me both. [she starts to head off to get ready before she pokes her head back out again] And in the event that I scare you off later with all my hideous baggage - thank you. For offering. It really means a lot.

Poe: No problem. And if it gets to be too much, we'll just switch to tequila.

Elena: Oh, that was already the plan. [and with that, she will duck out to shower and head off to class and get through her long day]

Poe: [and when she's done, he'll be sitting at the bar with a beer and pretzels, waiting while watching football]

Elena: [and she will slide across the booth to join him, reaching over to steal one of his pretzels] Hey. Were you waiting long?

Poe: [he shakes his curly haired head, grinning] No, not long. This is still the first beer.

Elena: Cool. So should we order then grab a booth?

Poe: Let's do it. [and he'll grab his beer, tossing down money and a tip, and will follow her]

Elena: [and they'll order some burgers and a bottle of tequila, and once all of that arrives, she'll pour them a pair of shots] Okay, so ... this is going to be a lot. So you are free to tap out at any time, just give me the signal.

Poe: Alright. On the other hand, if I suddenly forget how to speak English, cut me off. [holds up the shot glass in a salute]

Elena: Deal. [and she salutes and knocks her own shot back before taking a deep breath] So it started when my parents died in a car accident when I was sixteen ... [and with that comes ... all of it, with the supernatural aspects left out, of course. Being terrorized by a family of psychopaths, many near death experiences, some at the hands of people she loved, almost losing her brother permanently, getting single white female'd by her evil twin, almost losing her best friend and the love of her life, etc.] ... And that was all before I wound up in a coma for five years and woke up to find the love of my life gone for good and all of my friends having moved on and built their own lives in the meantime. [and then she will down another tequila shot]

Poe: [and he is just sitting there, fingers on the shot glass, blinking] Wow, you weren't kidding when you said you had hideous baggage.

Elena: Yep. [holds up the bottle] More tequila?

Poe: Please. [and he'll jump as his phone in his pocket vibrates, quickly pulling it out and then smiling at the screen]

Elena: [pours him the shot as she sees that smile] You are free to take a breather from my crap if you want to take that.

Poe: Nah, it's just a photo text. He's taunting me by wearing this sweater I absolutely hate. [and he will turn the phone so she can see the picture]

Elena: [she laughs] I actually think that looks kinda good on him.

Poe: Oh, he makes it work, but I just hate the thing. [laughs]

Elena: It's probably why he keeps it around.

Poe: Probably. [and he'll slide the phone back into his pocket] So, that's a lot of shit you've lived through. How are you still sane and chipper?

Elena: ... Lots of drinking. [she shrugs] Honestly, I don't know sometimes. A lot of it is really faking it until you make it, but that's kind of been my coping mechanism since my parents died. I figured if I kept pretending to be okay, I would eventually actually be okay. And being here makes it a little easier. No one really knew who I was or my dark sordid history. But that also makes it harder because certain things will hit a little too hard and I react too strongly and it ... turns people off, I guess. [or at least it feels like it does]

Poe: Well, what it sounds like is that you haven't let yourself move on past this history.

Elena: I'm trying. I really am. It's just ... been so much of my life. [how do you close a decade of your life and "move on"?] It feels like sometimes I don't have social skills anymore. I can't even have a conversation about rom coms without it coming across wrong.

Poe: [and he's going to sip that tequila before coughing] What's rom coms got to do with all this?

Elena: I was talking with someone after class, and I thought I was just making a point about how romcoms were female fantasies and it's nice to see ourselves in positions of power but apparently I came across as having "really strong feelings" about rom coms and it did not sound like a compliment.

Poe: [winces] I'm sorry. You try to talk to the guy again?

Elena: Not yet. But today was just tunnel vision class day, so I wasn't really looking to.

Poe: See if he says anything about it, or just talk to him. I mean, if he's some punk from money, you probably scared him out of a part of his sheltered worldview.

Elena: [she shrugs] I just ... hope that one day I can find a middle ground. Where there can be idle conversation without me seeming like I'm taking everything personally.

Poe: Well, you could always partake in a bit of gummy therapy. [he looked out the window towards the vape store also sporting CBD ingestables]

Elena: [she follows his eyes and ... oh that's tempting] Does that really help?

Poe: It takes the edge off. It's not cannabis, but I find it helps with stress relief and anxiety.

Elena: [she nods] I'll think about it. [it's been literal years since she's been stoned, and she was a vampire at the time. but she will seriously think about it, because she's willing to take anything that works at the moment]

Poe: I'm not gonna lie, it's hard to find peace in stressful environments. Medical School is nothing compared to the military, so I can tell you that finding a middle ground is going to be difficult. But it is possible. You just need to not let your past dictate your future.

Elena: Stress, I can handle. It's the lack of stress that seems to trip me up.

Poe: You are a strange person, Elena. [but he's grinning as he finishes his shot]

Elena: [she laughs] I am what life has made me.

Poe: And you are a good person, from what I've seen. So don't ever doubt that.

Elena: I try. [she hasn't always been, but she does her best] And you are a good friend for sitting here, holding my hand through my existential crisis.

Poe: Don't tell anyone that. You'll ruin my rep as the brooding loner.

Elena: [squints at him] You are not a brooder. Trust me, I know broody.

Poe: Oh, I can brood. You just don't see me when I'm brooding.

Elena: Oh really? And what's the point of this brooding?

Poe: It's all part of the musician mystique.

Elena: Uh-huh.

Poe: [and he will just lean back in his booth seat, wiping the joy from his face, tilting his head so that his hair fell just over his eyes, and he focused on making a resting bitch face]

Elena: [and she's going to try and hold that solemnness for a moment, before she breaks out laughing and pours herself another tequila shot]

Poe: [and he laughs as well and reaches for the bottle] Well, it works in darker bars.

Elena: I'm sure. [she knocks back the shot before continuing] You want to know the secret to a really good brood?

Poe: [leans forward, just starting to hit tipsy now] Tell me, oh wise one.

Elena: A really good, sexy brood isn't about how you hold yourself exactly. It's about finding something inside of you, deep, deep down, whether it's guilt or just general angst, where if a woman knew that about you, there would be an immediate rush of sympathy and connection and then just living in that feeling twenty-four seven. [a beat as she takes another shot] Also, constantly wearing a leather jacket.

Poe: Well, I've got the leather jacket. It's just not cold enough for it. [grins] So if that attracts women, is there an equivalent for attracting men?

Elena: Sorry, can't help you there. All my tricks only work on the female inclined.

Poe: I guess I'll just have to test it on Finn and see if it goes both ways.

Elena: Good plan.

Poe: So, back to you. [he pours them both another set of shots] So, I take it your jerkface ex was a brooder.

Elena: One of them, yes. And I was at peak Sad Girl Energy. There was a lot of journaling in graveyards. Very atmospheric. We kind of went together at the time. His name was Stefan.

Poe: Uh huh. Well, then it's obvious you, Elena, need to find yourself a non-brooder. A Good to his momma, high school letter wearing country boy.

Elena: Oh, tried one of those. Definitely not my thing. [a beat as she chews on the end of a fry] He also fell into the childhood best friend category too.

Poe: Well, that was doomed not to work if he was your bff. You should try it again. I mean, there are some muy bueno chavos in our class.

Elena: Oh really? Do you have any suggestions you want to live vicariously through me for?

Poe: Oh, don't tempt me. I'm trying to be a loyal boyfriend here...

Elena: [laughs] Fine, fine. I'll be nice. But do you honestly think there's a letterman out there who can handle all this damage?

Poe: Chica, if the boy ain't willing, he ain't worthy of you.

Elena: I'll try and keep that in mind.

Poe: You do that. [and he lifts the tequila bottle and realizes it's empty] I think we're both going to hate ourselves in the morning.

Elena: Probably. But even when it does me wrong, I still keep coming back.

Poe: [and he nods, then looks over at the bar when someone familiar walks into the bar with his jeans and flannel shirt, carrying his backpack and looking around for a place to eat and study] Now that right there is some fine American grade boy.

Elena: [glances over and then her face fades as she winces] That's rom com guy.

Poe: Oh, really? [and there's an evil grin gracing Poe's face] You should totally invite him over for a drink to clear the air.

Elena: [she blinks at him, because she should know the danger in that face and yet she engages anyway] I've had way too much tequila to do that articu-article- [a pause as she regroups] Too much booze. No talk good.

Poe: but you're a cute drunk and you won't think of the stupid broody ex Stefan while smiling at him. [and he's going to size Ben up, who notices the staring but Elena is not facing him so he just sees Poe, who wiggles his fingers in greeting]

Elena: Stefan was a long time ago ex. Thinking about him isn't the problem. [but that's neither here nor there, and is continuing to be unaware as she reaches for another fry] I'm still not sure it's a good idea. It's my last brain cell of common sense, trying to save me from myself even if you won't.

Poe: [biting his bottom lip] He is just begging to get broken in. At least go say hi.

Elena: [takes a deep breath and sighs before turning to see where Ben is]

Ben: [and he's leaning over the bar a bit, talking to the bartender to put in his order. He's short so he's up on his toes to get his abs to bend over the wood]

Elena: [and there's another sigh because that is a really nice view, but this still seems like a bad idea. Maybe she'll just wave when he turns around again]

Ben: [and he is going to turn once his order is in, and see her looking along with the dude who waved at him and just raises an eyebrow, so confused]

Elena: [and she'll just wave like hi, I'm totally not a weirdo, how're you doing?]

Poe: [and he is going to wave Ben over to join them because nope, not letting her let this one walk away. Too pretty]

Elena: [why are you like this. why is she friends with you again?]

Poe: [because he sings pretty songs to her while she does yoga and listens to her drama]

Ben: [and he is going to get a beer and decides to walk over, not sure what he's walking into] Hey.

Elena: Hi. Have you met Poe?

Ben: Not officially. I think we're in the same physiology course.

Poe: That we are. Nice to meet you. [bright smile, happy drunk, totally not trying to set you up with the girl across the table]

Elena: Poe and I have had a lot of tequila. [and she will point to the empty bottle nearby] But you are welcome to join us if you like.

Ben: [looks at the bottle and his eyes widen] Have you had any water to go with that? [he at least sees the mostly empty plates]

Poe: Water? Pssht. [and he slides over to give Ben room to join him]

Elena: Oh. Water might have been a good idea. [she points to herself as she shakes her head] This is not the worst I've never been wasted though. Mystic Falls High could have gone for the gold if there was an Olympic medal for underage drinking.

Ben: [taking the seat] Is this just in drinking, or are you also swimming in the alcohol?

Elena: Just drinking. [she makes a face] We were kind of a lot and really dumb.

Ben: Well, we all have our dumb moments.

Elena: Especially when we're teenagers. [she glances down at their stuff] I'm going to get water. And more fries. You guys want more fries?

Ben: I've got food coming.

Poe: Si, por favor.

Elena: [and she will salute them both before heading up to the bar for provisions. feel free to talk about her behind her back]

Poe: [oh, and he will. He's totally going to vet this guy and make sure he doesn't have any skeletons in his closet, and then talk about her behind Elena's back]

Elena: [and eventually she will return with two glasses of water and a big plate of cheese fries] I decided the fries should be cheesy. And have bacon.

Poe: So thoughtful and wise. Isn't she? [elbows Ben]

Ben: Well, I know she's very intelligent. But does that really equal wise? [nods towards the empty tequila bottle, but he's teasing them.]

Elena: Absolutely not. [picks up a fry] Wisdom and Elena Gilbert do not go together.

Ben: [and his food is dropped off, which is good because those fries were tempting him] Is that so?

Elena: Nope. [and she's not going to elaborate, because she already did that tonight]

Ben: Most of my unwise moments involved a bat and mailboxes after having too many beers with friends under the bridge on Friday nights.

Elena: [she nods] Mine usually manifests more in terrible taste in men.

Ben: Oh?

Poe: [points a fry at her] Oh this one likes the bad boys. Broody ones with leather jackets.

Elena: Or charming assholes who you think you can change, but you really can't. [until you do and they do the actual right thing, but they die in the process]

Ben: I take it that's him? [jerks a thumb at Poe, who starts laughing]

Elena: [she laughs] Oh, god no. We're just neighbors. Charming Asshole is ... long gone.

Poe: Plus, I'm taken, unlike Elena. [bright grin]

Elena: He has an adorable boyfriend with great taste in sweaters.

Ben: Well, congrats.

Poe: Thank you. I think I'm going to hit the head a moment. You two promise to behave?

Elena: I think we'll survive.

Poe: [and he'll leave out the other side of the booth and head away to the men's room]

Ben: [and he's going to take a bite of his burger, not really knowing what to say so it allows him to think]

Elena: [and she'll pick at her fries, letting the silence settle before glancing over at him again] I'm sorry. If I came on too strong before.

Ben: Huh?

Elena: The whole rom com thing?

Ben: Oh. No, I just thought you had a bad experience with someone mansplaining a romcom to you so I tried to change the subject.

Elena: Oh. Noooo. I just have bad experiences with men. [half smile as she grabs another fry] Not that you were bad but ... romantically speaking.

Ben: That makes sense. [takes another bite] You thought about trying women? Might be easier.

Elena: Nope. They do nothing for me. I'm hopelessly attracted to men.

Ben: Noted. [and there might be a smirk hidden while chewing]

Elena: [and she may be drunk, but she still has eyes] What?

Ben: [coughs, trying not to choke before swallowing] What?

Elena: You were smirking. You're a smirky smirker.

Ben: I wasn't smirking. [totally was and he tries to keep a straight face]

Elena: You were so smirking. [straightens as she pulls her fries in closer] So what were you smirking about?

Ben: I was not smirking about the fact that you're only into guys.

Elena: Oh really.

Ben: [takes another bite of his burger while humming in agreement]

Elena: So why were you not smirking about that?

Ben: Well, hypothetically, if for any reason I wanted to ask you to come out for coffee, there's a chance I could be your type. [thinks] I mean, I'm sure I can find a leather jacket if needed.

Elena: Leather jackets are nice, but they're also kind of overrated. [there's a pause as she tips her head to the side to look at him] You really want to have coffee with me?

Ben: [and he's going to look at his fries a bit] Well, yeah. I mean, most of the girls I've known were the ones who either wanted someone to take care of them, or wanted nothing to do with men. No in-between. And you're smart and don't try to hide it.

Elena: [she looks down at her own food] I might be more than you're bargaining for. I might be smart but I've got ... a lot of baggage. Some of it I'm still trying to deal with.

Ben: Who doesn't have baggage? I've got stuff of my own. And right now, it's just coffee. It's not like I’m asking you to marry me out the gate.

Poe: [and he returns right at that moment and blinks] I think I missed way more than I should have.

Elena: You didn't miss that much. [and turning back to Ben] I know. But I'm just ... putting that out there in advance.

Poe: Good, because it sounded like I left you two barely speaking to each other and came back to a marriage proposal. I know you're not drunk enough to do that.

Ben: I have been warned. [shifts to give Poe back some space, laughing at the other man's statement.]

Elena: God no. [a pause as she takes another sip of water] Another thing you should probably know - I'm twenty-seven.

Ben: If that's so, you look damn good for twenty-seven.

Elena: Thank you. Good genes.

Ben: You good having coffee with a guy four years younger than you?

Elena: Honestly, it would not be the worst age gap I've had in a relationship.

Poe: Oh really? [now he's curious]

Elena: [she shakes her head as she nurses her water] Nope. You've heard enough of my tragic romantic history tonight.

Ben: [looks at Poe] So you can give me a hint on what I'm walking into?

Poe: Nope. [mimes zipping his lips]

Elena: Let's put it this way. I have dated the high school varsity football guy, I've dated the brooding loner guy, and I've dated the charming asshole. All of them ended badly. So as long as you don't fall into any of those categories, you should be fine.

Ben: Well, I can sometimes be an asshole, but usually not on purpose.

Elena: Then we should be fine.

Ben: I'm more of a rock music and building cars guy.

Elena: I have not tried that particular combo.

Poe: I have. It's good. [grins]

Elena: [raises an eyebrow at him]

Poe: What? It was before Finn.

Ben: [is just going to drink his beer, thanks]

Elena: Mmm-hmm. [and she fumbles for her phone, to look at the time, and wrinkles her nose] I should get home. Time to call an uber.

Poe: Guess that means I'm going home too.

Ben: I could drive you, if you give me a minute to finish my fries?

Elena: Are you sure? I wouldn't want to hold you up?

Ben: I wouldn't offer if I wasn't sure.

Elena: Then thank you. We appreciate it.

Ben: [and he will quickly down the rest of his food and beer, and then stand up] Shall we?

Elena: We shall. [and Elena and Poe will settle what's left of their tab while he does that and head out with him]

Ben: [and he will pull up in his restored '68 Camaro and grin] Hop in.

Elena: Wow. That is a car. [and she will attempt to slide in the back before Poe makes her sit in the front]

Ben: Thanks. Rebuilt her myself

Poe: [that’s fine, he'll sit up front with the pretty boy] Must be a good cruising car.

Ben: What can I say, I like long drives.

Elena: Long drives can be nice.

Ben: I went cross-country one summer. Best summer of my life.

Elena: I haven't really traveled as much as I would have liked to.

Ben: It's not like you don't have the chance to still. You're not that old.

Elena: That is true. [she feels super old sometimes though. and she's all too aware how opportunities will disappear because people suddenly die]

Ben: Well, how about we take a trip during fall break. I mean, we're pretty close to Chicago, Nashville, and St. Louis.

Elena: Unfortunately fall break is my best friend's birthday and if I miss it, I will not be returning for the second half of the semester. But maybe another time.

Poe: I'd take you up on that, but my boyfriend's already put in for leave that week so we can spend it together.

Ben: Another time then.

Elena: [nods and settles back against her seat, looking out the window as they drive through Indiana]

Ben: [and Poe will direct them to the apartment, where he will let them both off]

Elena: Thanks for the ride. [and she'll wait until Poe is out and heading towards the entrance to their apartment complex before she passes Ben a torn off piece of paper] My number. So you can call me for coffee. [she reaches for her bag and moves to slide out] Also, I like to text.

Ben: I pretty much live by my phone. [he takes it and tucks the paper into his breast pocket] I'll text you when I get home so you'll have mine.

Elena: Sounds good. Drive safe. [and with that she will get out and head towards the building after Poe]