regency au } { of dance lessons and rebuilding bridges

[wildkingdom]

Malia: [she doesn't want to treat being home like killing time, but she hadn't wanted to linger here for too long before they moved on to Ireland. But her father keeps delaying for one reason or another so the longer they are being forced to stay. She hasn't spent this long in the manor proper in a long time, and while she's happy seeing her family, it's also stirring up feelings she'd rather not deal with. Matters only become worse when she's invited to a dance lesson for young women in town, and no one is free to escort her but Liam. So, with a deep breath, she follows her nose until she finds him and tries to get his attention] Do you have a moment?

Liam: [and he's in the library, working on his writing. He's focused on it, trying to continue his education now that he's back at Hale manor. He's so focused that he doesn't even smell Malia until she speaks. He jumps, turning to look over at her] Oh, hello. I do, yes. Can I help you, m'lady? [ he goes to stand, putting the pen down]

Malia: [folds her hands in front of her] I was invited to a social engagement in town. There's no one else available to escort me, and my father insists I don't go alone. Can you?

Liam: Of course. [looks at his work, then nods] Let me just put this away.

Malia: Thank you. I didn't mean to interrupt your day.

Liam: This is just something I do in my free time. It's meant to be interrupted easily. [and he will leave his pad on the table while going to put the poetry book back on the shelf.]

Malia: [nods] I have to gather a few things, but I will meet you at the entrance hall?

Liam: Of course. [pauses] Do you wish me to dress in regular clothes or my leather armor? [there is a hint of a smirk, knowing that Malia isn't overtly fond of the town women, so he could dress up for her to "show off" and take the focus off her and move it onto him]

Malia: [her brain falters, not necessarily drawing that conclusion there, before shrugging] Whatever you feel is appropriate.

Liam: Okay. [and he will bow as she leaves]

Malia: [and she nods before gathering what she needs and moving to the entrance hall to wait for him]

Liam: [and he will just make it more official business then, strapping on his leather armor and sliding his sword into place as he goes to meet her.]

Malia: [stands as he arrives and nods] Shall we?

Liam: Yes. [and he will hold out his arm to her]

Malia: [and she will tentatively take it, before following his lead out of the manor and beginning the long walk to town]

Liam: [and he doesn't know what really to say, so he remains quiet.]

Malia: [and the silence becomes unbearable, so...] Are you intending to stay here for good?

Liam: Lord Parrish is the only family I truly have. I'll go wherever he, or Sir Derek, order me to.

Malia: I see.

Liam: It's the oath I took when I became a knight. [because it was the only way he could stay home]

Malia: I know. Just ... sometimes things change. Sir Isaac was sworn to our house until he married Lady Argent.

Liam: That is true. Though it's hard for me to think of fortune like that for me.

Malia: Why not? You don't think you would get married?

Liam: I would, but only for the woman I love.

Malia: And you don't think there's potential for that woman to be in another noble house?

Liam: She isn't. [he's keeping his eyes forward, because he's talking his way around her]

Malia: [there's something about his scent that is odd, but she doesn't know what it means, so she keeps her eyes straight ahead as well] I don't think you should limit your potential. There's a number of local noble girls who are already quite charmed by you.

Liam: You're too kind.

Malia: It's not kindness, it's simply fact. They were very impressed by how you handled the situation with Lord Raeken.

Liam: All I did was my duty and protect your honor. I wasn't aiming to impress.

Malia: Perhaps not, but you achieved it all the same.

Liam: [just nods, unsure of what else to say]

Malia: [takes a deep breath, because she doesn't know where to go either. It didn't used to be this hard]

Liam: Would you be upset if I stayed permanently at Hale Manor?

Malia: No. [she wouldn't, not really] I suppose I just want to know how much I should become accustomed to your presence.

Liam: [accustomed. It stings, a reminder of the hurt between them] I can stay out of your way, if that is what you wish, m'lady.

Malia: [is that what she wishes? She can't say for sure. things have been confusing as of late.] The Manor is your home as well as mine. And should things fall into my father's plans, it might not be mine for much longer.

Liam: It would always be your home. Even if you find someone to marry that you love, they can't take that from you.

Malia: I meant more that I will not be here as often. So there is no need for you to change your routine on my account.

Liam: [and he wants to say more, but they are now in town and he doesn't want to be overheard]

Malia: [and she will direct him to the dance lessons where they're going through basic steps and oh look, this is one of the routines where they have to have a partner. and there's an odd number of girls and the girls aren't necessarily fond of Malia so she's left standing alone as everyone else pairs off]

Liam: [and he watches her standing there, then sighs and walks over] I actually know this dance. Would you like a partner to practice with?

Malia: [glances over at him, before nodding] Thank you.

Liam: [and he will take her hands gently, going to lead her in the dance. He learned mostly at tourneys, but also while being a traveling squire] Tell me if I need to slow down.

Malia: [she shakes her head. She was always a quick study when it came to dance] I'm fine.

Liam: [and he will smile, used to this side of Malia. So they will dance!]

Malia: [they will! and it reminds her of times they used to do this when they were kids, and if his footwork is fancy enough, he might almost get a smile out of her]

Liam: [and at some point, the dance has her twist into his arms before they dance around the circle with the other couples]

Malia: [and suddenly they are very very close and he'll hear heartbeat pick up, just a little]

Liam: [well, so will his, so it's even. And she's close enough that he will get a strong dose of her scent and he'll swallow, trying to not let himself react]

Malia: [and the she'll pull away again and try to swallow down her feelings to keep things neutral]

Liam: [and same with him. He's really glad he wore his armor now, though.]

Malia: [and they'll finish the dance, and that will be the end of the class. and while she doesn't stay close, she will nod to him] We can head back, unless you have other business in town.

Liam: No, I... [he looks out at the marketplace and swallows] I avoid the town for the most part.

Malia: [her brow furrows] Why?

Liam: [looks over at her, his jaw set] Too much temptation.

Malia: Oh. [well, at least he's keeping that under consideration] Then we can return to the manor.

Liam: As you wish. [but the idea of looking for his old friends is now in his mind, even if he doesn't want to do it. Which is upping his stress]

Malia: [she senses that, and on impulse she takes his hand, pulling him back up the road towards the manor]

Liam: [and he is relieved, focusing on her instead] So your trip to Ireland keeps getting changed. Is everything alright?

Malia: You'll have to ask my father. He's the one who keeps moving it.

Liam: I see. Do you know the people in Ireland that you were going to visit?

Malia: An old family friend of the Kirsanovs. They're a human family, but their oldest daughter married the Kirsanov alpha. They thought I might get along well with the youngest.

Liam: Oh. [he thinks for a few steps] Have you met anyone you like yet?

Malia: [and then, she realizes how he interpreted that and] The youngest O'Malley is a woman. It's a question of friendship, not marriage. [though she's sure there's a prospect there too] But no. Not particularly.

Liam: Oh, well, that's good then. [about the O'Malley girl. and maybe the other thing]

Malia: That's good?

Liam: I meant about the O'Malley girl. [flustered] I know the other thing is difficult to do.

Malia: I suppose. In some ways it was easier when I didn't have a choice in the matter. [her father could pick the boy and that would be that]

Liam: But you wouldn't know the man if your father picked.

Malia: [she makes a face] Sometimes that's better.

Liam: But... sometimes it isn't.

Malia: Maybe. But so far getting to know the men has not exactly ended favorably. [and the one person she thought she might get away with marrying was sent away and there are still a lot of complicated unresolved feelings there that she's not going to tell him about]

Liam: I just remember how sad Lady Hale was when Lord Parrish was in love with her, but she was in an arranged marriage.

Malia: Laura was sad because she was in love with him too. Just because someone is in love with me doesn't mean I'm in love with them.

Liam: But no one would be in love in an arranged marriage. If someone was in love with you, it's at least a place to start, right?

Malia: That doesn't make it better. At least in an arranged marriage, we're both on the same page.

Liam: Oh. [and he'll sigh, looking at the path as they walked]

Malia: [huffs] It's not as easy as you think, having someone be in love with you, if you don't feel the same for them. If you're not receptive, you're labeled cold and awful. If you try and reciprocate, but don't get there fast enough, you're not trying hard enough. Love isn't always a gift.

Liam: [he nods, unsure of what else to say. It does just reconfirm that his gambling destroyed so much more than his life. He hurt Malia, took away her trust and happiness in some way.] Sometimes, I worry that I shouldn't let myself fall in love. I can't trust myself sometimes, and I don't think I could let someone get hurt again because of me.

Malia: Love isn't always a choice. [which is why it sucks so much sometimes honestly] And shunning yourself doesn't make things better. I'm not saying you should do something you're not comfortable with but ... you can't prove you've changed until you can make the same choice differently.

Liam: But it would involve me getting into that situation again... something I am actively aiming not to do.

Malia: That's also part of the choice. The choice is to not gamble. [she pauses] But I also think, if I learned anything, is that mistakes are inevitable. Its how you recover from them that matters. [it doesn't mean that she will let him as close as he was, at least not yet, but she does have faith that he won't fall as far as he did, should he wind up on the wrong side of a bet]

Liam: I don't want to disappoint everyone again. I'm scared I'll be sent away again.

Malia: I don't think one mistake will be enough to send you away again. When you were sent away before, it was the culmination of many bad choices.

Liam: [nods] I hope so. You're the only family I have. I can't lose you again.

Malia: I don't want you to lose that either. But if you put too much pressure for perfection on yourself, you're almost guaranteed to fail. Because no one is perfect.

Liam: It feels like I have to be perfect, though. That every action I take is judged.

Malia: I think that the only one judging you is you. Or at least you're the one who's judging you the harshest.

Liam: We are our own worst critic.

Malia: It's true. But if you are that concerned, perhaps you should talk to Jordan and Laura.

Liam: I do. I just... I miss having my friend who I could talk to when I was scared.

Malia: [she knows that means her, and she keeps her eyes on the road, because she's not ready to give that back yet so completely] Some things take more time. [not because she's afraid he'll make the same mistakes, but because to her, he's not the same person she thought he was. So she needs to learn the new one]

Liam: I know. But the hope that it could happen is a great motivator.

Malia: Anything is possible. [so that's not a no] It's not something that's given, though. It's something that's earned.

Liam: I know. Sometimes it feels possible, and sometimes... sometimes I think I'm going to need to spend the rest of my life earning it.

Malia: Is it worth it to you?

Liam: [he will take a deep breath, then look directly at her] You are.

Malia: [oh so they're no longer lampshading this conversation, okay. well, it doesn't change the answer to his response] Then does it matter how long it takes?

Liam: [he's being honest] No. Well, maybe. Like, fifty years might be a bit long...

Malia: [he gets a mild look at that, one that's more fond than the ones she's been giving him lately] It probably won't be that long.

Liam: [that look makes him smile, easing the tension in his shoulders] Twenty?

Malia: Maybe.

Liam: [and he will give her his arm] I can totally do twenty.

Malia: [and she will take it] Maybe twenty-five. [that's mostly teasing]

Liam: That five years might just be a bit of a hurdle... [the teasing is nice]

Malia: Suffering builds character.

Liam: If it truly did, I've had character since I was a child.

Malia: I'm not sure anyone would disagree with you on that. They just might not believe younger you had positive character.

Liam: [grins] That was all Parrish's influence.

Malia: Oh sure. Blame the lord of the manor.

Liam: He's the one who raised me. Somewhat.

Malia: [shakes her head] Eventually you have to make your own character.

Liam: It's a work in progress.

Malia: At least you're working at it. More than can be said for some.

Liam: True. [and look, they are almost back to the manor]

Malia: [look at that. She will step away as they reach the gates, preparing to go their separate ways] Thank you for escorting me.

Liam: Of course, m'lady. Anytime. I'm always at your service. [and he will bow]

Malia: [and she nods and off she goes to return to chambers for the day until dinner or someone comes to find her]

Liam: [and he will watch her with a smile on his face before heading back to the library]