canon au } { post-401, of hard truths and quiet reassurances

[kiss_evilgoodbye]

[♫ Outta Time ~ Natalia Kills]



[While watching Derek, Buffy and Peter start talking about the time right after the fire that quickly escalates into a fight about Buffy’s choices directly after. Peter is understandably upset for her leaving him behind, and Buffy is doing her best to defend herself.]

Buffy: And you were gone! So what was I supposed to do? Sit there and wait? I had more girls coming to me by the day, people that I needed to take care of. I couldn't keep Cora here and risk that the other hunters would find her, and you ... and I failed you. I failed Talia, I wasn't going to fail her.

Peter: I was there for six years. Did you even once think to come back for me? To see me? To help me?

Buffy: Every day. [every single day but the days got swallowed up by responsibility or her job or the inability to look at her own failure in the face]

Peter: Then why didn't you? I deserve an answer. I know Derek's, I know Cora's, but you knew I was here and you never came back for me.

Buffy: Because there wasn't anything I could do. [and Buffy needs to be doing. She can't just sit and look at him and talk to him and have it not be him] Because I couldn't just sit there and look at you like that, and not see you looking back. I couldn't just be there and do nothing, but there was nothing for me to do.

Peter: [his jaw tightens] You being there would have helped me heal. I wasn't in a coma the first few days. It was when I realized I was alone that I couldn't handle it. I gave up because none of you were there for me. None of you.

Buffy: [her hands extend out from her sides, before dropping down to slap against her thighs] So is that easier? To just blame us for it? Then fine. Blame me. Blame Derek and Laura. Cora wasn't her fault, so you can blame me for that too. Does it make you feel better?

Peter: [and he sees that, and his eyes just harden. Something has shifted in the way his mind works, and he takes a step back away from her.] No, but it answers a lot of questions I have. [and he turns to just walk away]

Buffy: [her jaw sets and she doesn't follow. she knows she screwed up then, and she isn't going to push him to believe otherwise. But he has to forgive her for it, and that won't happen until he's ready to let it go, no matter how many times she says she's sorry. Which, for the record, she probably hasn't.]

Peter: [goes to where teen!Derek is watching something on his new smart phone and they talk. Derek nods and they both leave the loft back for Peter's apartment. He can at least focus his issues into protecting his nephew]

Cora: [possibly is sneaking back over to his apartment later because she doesn't like being put in the middle of this when she was eleven and didn't really have much of a choice because she was eleven and just lost her family. But there's something she needs to say all the same. So, at some point, she's sitting cross-legged on the couch. It's not her normal approach to dealing with Peter, but she feels like right now he wouldn't have let her in if she tried the front door.]

Peter: [spent a long time in the shower after getting Derek set up with dinner. He's in the spare room, enjoying his pizza and his netflix on Peter's laptop, oblivious to his sister being there. Peter smells her the second he steps out of the shower and goes to change at least before making his way into the living room] Good to know breaking into houses and waiting silently runs in the family.

Cora: [her eyes flicker up to him, and she waits for a moment before swallowing] I wouldn't have left you.

Peter: [his gaze doesn't change] I know, Cora. You are the one blameless in all this. You didn't know.

Cora: No. [she swallows again, trying to figure out how to say this so that he gets it] You didn't leave me. So I wouldn't have left you. [she didn't want to leave any of you, but Buffy didn't give her much of a choice. But it's the first part that's the part she needs him to hear]

Peter: Did either of them ever tell you I survived the fire, Cora?

Cora: [her eyes fall back to her hands again, playing with the sleeve of her sweatshirt] I didn't ask. You collapsed after you told me to run and I ... it was bad enough she wouldn't take me to Derek and Laura, I think I knew that if I did and you were, that would be worse.

Peter: Not asking does not make it your fault for not knowing. For all I knew, the hunters had killed you after I got you out. [his voice is distant though, as if he's detached himself from the emotion of that night] So don't hold any blame over yourself for this.

Cora: [she nods once. She misses him, sometimes so much it aches, but he's made it clear that she's not getting that person back. it seems pointless to say it, but she doesn't move either.]

Peter: [he's not that person anymore to get back. Even if there are moments, hints of it... the Peter Hale everyone had loved had been burnt out of the mind. He admitted it, he didn't deny it, and he didn't lie about it. It was the way he was.]

Cora: [she knows that. it doesn't stop her from trying, from hoping, as much as she wishes she could quash it. She wasn't here to see him at his worst. This is why Derek was usually there to be the buffer between them, but right now, Derek isn't Derek. She has to be the buffer between them and she doesn't think she can do it]

Peter: [huffs and moves to go to the kitchen] Are you hungry? I think Derek has not emptied my entire fridge yet.

Cora: [she shakes her head, slowly unfolding her legs from in front of her and getting up] I just came to ... [she's not really sure what she came to do. Tell him things he already knew? Get reassurance for wrongs she shouldn't need reassurance for? She isn't entirely sure, but she got it. Now she should leave] I'll go.

Peter: You will attract less attention using the door. [he would say thank you for the reassurance and attempt to make him feel better, but that isn't a phrase he knows anymore.]

Cora: [there's a vaguely amused look at his back, before doing as requested, letting herself out the front door. To go where? She's not entirely sure yet, but she's not really feeling like the loft at the moment]

Peter: [finally alone - at least visually and audibly, he closed his eyes and just dug his fingers into his palms. He felt his claws cut the skin as he managed his anger through pain, and when he was back on his steady level, he just went to wash his hands, the claw marks already healing away any sign of his internal struggle]