canon au } { post-s4, of amends and explanations

[patrols]

Ben: [text] Do you want to get lunch at the diner across from the hotel?

Lindsay: [texts back] Sure. When?

Ben: Whenever you're free? I just got into town. [he's totally been there for a few hours]

Lindsay: [glances back to her watch] I've got a break in about an hour?

Ben: I'll have a table waiting.

Lindsay: [and she won't respond, she'll just show up when she says she will, entering the diner and glancing around for him. She's in her street clothes, mostly because she doesn't want to draw attention to herself if she doesn't have to]

Ben: [and he's nursing a cup of coffee, having not ordered anything else to wait for her, and seems to be lost in his own world thinking of what to say that he doesn't notice her right away]

Lindsay: [she finds him, making her way over to the table and sliding in across from him] Hey.

Ben: [he looks up, then smiles] Hey. Sorry to just show up on you, but I dropped Olivia off at Berkley to hang with Cora for a while before everyone gets here for Thanksgiving.

Lindsay: [returns the smile before shaking her head] No worries. It's good to see you.

Ben: Same here. I missed you, and I wanted to call sooner, I just... after last time, I didn't want to not talk about what happened... but I didn't want to just do that over the phone. So I wasn't putting you off, not really, just... needed time to think and try and figure out where I fucked us up?

Lindsay: [shakes her head a bit] It wasn't really you. It was me being ... me and not saying things right. I never ... I don't really care about all that label shit, that wasn't what I was trying to ask you.

Ben: I think I figured that out. And I think I'm kinda at a disadvantage because I don't know if what you are thinking and I'm thinking use the same words... if you know what I mean?

Lindsay: Yeah. All I was really asking was how you felt. I didn't want you to think I was trying to box you into something you didn't get.

Ben: Well, it kinda did which is why I didn't know how to answer right, I think. I mean, I really like you, Linds. I didn't think I had to explain that.

Lindsay: Explain? No. But ... sometimes it's good to hear it. In words. [a beat] Girls like words. Even if they are nebulous and undefined.

Ben: You know I don't have a really fancy vocabulary. School stopped for me in fifth grade.

Lindsay: And I'm not asking you to be Shakespeare either. It doesn't have to be fancy, it just ... sometimes needs to be said.

Ben: Well, I like you. A lot. If you need more than that, you gotta tell me cause I can't read your mind to know what you need me to say. And I'm not going to say it if I don't mean it, but I don't know what you need.

Lindsay: I just ... don't want to be an afterthought.

Ben: Oh trust me, Linds, you're so not an afterthought. Hell, half the time I'm not focused on a job, you're all I think about.

Lindsay: [and that makes her relax a lot] Okay. That's all I need to know.

Ben: [chuckles and smiles] Alright. I mean, I'm sorry you thought that of me. I guess I wasn't good at getting that across when I said that I don't just come to see you because of the sex.

Lindsay: [she shrugs] I like direct. Sometimes I'm not listening and you need to spell it out for me.

Ben: Alright, I'll remember that. [smiles] So we good?

Lindsay: [nods as she smiles back] We're good.

Ben: Good. Cause it sucks not being able to talk with you when I'm on the road.

Lindsay: Same here.

Ben: But yeah, so I'm in town for the holiday. I haven't celebrated Thanksgiving in a long time, so it's going to be awkward. Especially since we're pretty much crashing the Hale Thanksgiving.

Lindsay: If you can sit and eat, you can handle Thanksgiving. Besides, everyone there is in the know. You don't have to hide anything.

Ben: Not having to hide is a bonus. Though still a bit lost on the whole what I am side of the equation.

Lindsay: Does it matter? I mean, it's mostly humans and werewolves. Some parents, some kids - nobody's gonna judge.

Ben: [shrugs] No, not really. I just hope I don't have a flare up while we're having dinner.

Lindsay: Do you know what triggers them?

Ben: Nope. The only thing we think is that the grace in me isn't mine, and being in this reality, it may be reacting bad to a world where the angels are still present.

Lindsay: Did Castiel have a look at you yet?

Ben: He's been on the road with his new girl, Hannah. And Sam's pretty sure I shouldn't go near her. [they were pretty sure she'd kill him]

Lindsay: Fair enough. [a beat] Think it might help Dawn with this whole mark thing?

Ben: Dean's mark?

Lindsay: Yeah. I mean, the Mark's demonic, right? Maybe bonus grace could ... at least neutralize it or something?

Ben: Well, so far the only way we've seen removing grace ends up kinda killing the host.

Lindsay: Oh. [yeah, that'd be bad] But you're not an angel. The process would probably have to be different.

Ben: Probably, but we have no idea what it'll do if I lose it. We were trying to research it before Dean had to go off and turn demon.

Lindsay: [nods a bit] Well, you've got Dawn now. That'll at least put you at a decent capacity for research.

Ben: That's true. I'll get there.

Lindsay: Good. I hope so.