canon au } { post-s4, of instincts and concerns

[impetere]

Cora: [has been wearing her pensive face pretty much since they got back from Derek's with too many things spinning in her head because those comments coming on the heels of how intense things were on her end with Stiles the night before has left her spinning a little. Actually expressing those things to anyone, however, is not something she knows how to do so she's just going to pick at her cinnamon bun at breakfast after the sheriff has left for work and turn them over until it's something that makes sense and is okay, even though she knows it might not ever be]

Stiles: [he knows that face. He knows that face well and he's going to let her stew in her Hale broody ways until his dad's gone and then he's going to sigh] Okay, I'm not a mind reader. Use your words and tell me what's wrong.

Cora: [she glances over to him eyes wide for a moment, and her mouth works as though she's trying to figure out what exactly to say, but in the end she just settles on ...] Nothing. [because anything she could think of sounds wrong.]

Stiles: Nope, try again. [he's going to cross his arms, because he's not letting it go that easy. you should know better, Cora]

Cora: [her eyes drop to pick at her food again, picking at it quietly for a moment as much as she wants to tell him to drop it she knows he won't] The other night was kind of intense, for me.

Stiles: [nods, edging closer] With the whole werewolf instinct side? [because you know, he gets it. Mostly. He may have been reading up on wolf behavior...]

Cora: [nods a bit, swallowing and not looking up] I almost didn't ... [stop. Almost wanted to give in to that instinct to have nothing between them and just be with him and take her chances even though she knows how stupid that would be. the wolf in her didn't care. The teenage girl, however, knows how stupid that would have been]

Stiles: [his hand went up to the spot on his collarbone that was hidden from his dad's sight with the sweatshirt] You almost didn't stop the big bite?

Cora: [she shakes her head a bit. That was there too, but that one she's been dealing with longer. the one earlier was new.] Before that.

Stiles: [nope, he doesn't get it. Clueless teenage boy moment here because the only thing they had to worry about what the whole mating thing, right?]

Cora: [exhales a bit at that, before glancing to him with the edges of a look that were more worried than anything else] The condom, Stiles.

Stiles: Oh. [blinks] Well, I would have stopped. I mean, it's on me to make sure I have it on, Cora. Not like you can take birth control.

Cora: I know. [because she does. but there's a part of her that's scared of what she might have done if she hadn't decided to stop but he did. If she hadn't been in control and kept those instincts back, but she can't bring herself to actually say it]

Stiles: [thinks because he's the weird research boy] Wait, you can't take birth control because your healing factor and metabolism burn through it, right?

Cora: [she nods a bit] It would only work for a few hours, tops, if that.

Stiles: Well, you can get a diaphragm. You just get measured and then you put it in and take it out in the morning and then if I forget or we just don't stop, you're still safe and if it helps with your instincts and being worried about it then we can make sure you're safe before we even start making out.

Cora: Maybe. I'm just ... Peter warned me that it was going to be intense, and I just ... I feel like I'm losing it sometimes. And I don't want to hurt you.

Stiles: [takes her hand and squeezes it] I know you don't. And it's who you are, babe. I'm not scared of you or what being with you means. I don't want you to be scared either.

Cora: [sometimes he thinks she should be. Sometimes she feels these stabs of possessiveness and it doesn't feel healthy or right because as much as Stiles is hers he's not her property. He's her partner. And sometimes she doesn't know if the wolf in her understands that] I can't lose you. But sometimes the way I feel about you terrifies me.

Stiles: You're not going to lose me. [he pulls her to look at him] Cora, I'm not going anywhere, I swear. I wish I could help more than reassure you I'm not going anywhere, not without you by my side.

Cora: [she glances up at him and her hand comes up to brush at the corner of her eyes] Even if I get super overprotective or ... or jealous or ... [or if heaven forbid she does hurt him, overpower him , does what she said she never would. she huffs a bit, burying her face in her hands] ... or if I can't control it.

Stiles: [he sucks on his lips, and just slides closer and pulls her into his arms and kisses the top of her head. he doesn't know what to really say, so he's quiet for a bit before he asks it] Are you going to let yourself never love anyone then if you're afraid of that?

Cora: I don't want anyone else. [she shouldn't but she curls into him, taking in his scent and the sound of his heartbeat to calm her down] I just know that the way I feel about you, in human terms, is probably ten different kinds of unhealthy.

Stiles: [he rubs her back gently] Then it's a good thing that I'm the token human in the pack.

Cora: [she closes her eyes for a moment before shaking her head] That's the point, Stiles.

Stiles: [he's just quite a moment] Would it be easier if I was a wolf too?

Cora: Not if that's not what you want. [she picks her head up to look at him] I love you just as you are. And maybe it would be easier in the sense of you would ... get what I'm feeling a lot more. [assuming that he actually feels the same way which she's not sure she wants to consider something else at the moment] But don't do it just for me. Especially since there's a chance ... [there's a chance it won't take and she'll lose him and that she won't survive. She can't even stomach the thought of it]

Stiles: [he just nods, but yeah, it's something he'll have to talk to Scott about because he never really knows how to feel on that topic.] Okay. I just... I don't want you to be upset like this. Especially if we've got a long future ahead of us.

Cora: [closes her eyes a bit] This is just all really ... new. And maybe it'll get easier as I get used to it, but if I'm freaking you out or hurting you or ... anything, I need you to tell me.

Stiles: [nods] I will.

Cora: [that relaxes her a bit, because even if this isn't a big deal to him, it is a big deal to her] I'd just ... I'd never forgive myself if I made you feel like I was trying to control you or something.

Stiles: [he runs a hand along her cheek, smiling] Cora, I personally know what it's like to have a supernatural creature control me. Trust me, you can't really top that.

Cora: No, I know, but ... we're a team. I need us to stay a team. Equal, you know?

Stiles: I know. We will always be a team.

Cora: And you'll tell me if I'm pushing too far.

Stiles: I will.

Cora: Okay. [she nods and with that she'll just lean forward to curl into him, finding that comfortable spot against his side]

Stiles: [kisses her forehead] And you know, with Laura back you have a sister to ask all these awkward hormone questions to that isn't you brother or uncle that may still try and rip my throat out if I step wrong. Though pretty sure Laura would too, but hey, at least she's a girl.

Cora: [she laughs a bit] Yeah, I know. I'm still getting used to her actually being there, though.

Stiles: I'm sure she knows we're having sex, so maybe talking safe sex will make her feel better?

Cora: [there's a bit of a look up at him at that]

Stiles: What? [he's smiling though. Distraction worked?]

Cora: [shakes her head a bit as she lets her head rest against his shoulder again]

Stiles: I love you, Cora.

Cora: [her eyes lift up to look at him again and she nods] I love you too.

Stiles: And we will deal with this together. So when you're worried, or upset, or scared, you tell me. And we'll deal with it. Because I'm not going to lose you to fear either, okay?

Cora: [she nods against his shoulder] I will. I just don't always know how to say it.

Stiles: Then we can pull up an online dictionary and find the right words? [teasing gently]

Cora: [rolls her eyes a bit] I don't need a dictionary.

Stiles: Thesaurus?

Cora: I think I'll be able to figure it out. Just ... be patient with me.

Stiles: I think I can try.

Cora: Okay.

Stiles: And just... if you need to step back from sex for a while... [it hurts him to say it, but he is being understanding boyfriend]

Cora: [she pauses for a moment, because that might be a good idea. She doesn't really want to either, because she loves being with him and in a few weeks she won't have them at all, but she's worried about what she'd do] Maybe I shouldn't stay here while your dad's out of town.

Stiles: [he just nods] Yeah, no, probably better that way. [even if it sucks]

Cora: [she takes a breath] We'll see. There's still a week before he leaves, maybe it'll be better then. [because she doesn't want to leave him alone either.] Or maybe you could stay at the loft? [with her siblings around it'll be less pressure on both of them and they can still be together]

Stiles: I can stay at the loft. I think Dad will just be happy knowing I'm not alone the whole time.

Cora: [nods] So we can do that, then.

Stiles: Okay. [he will snuggle her, but sorry Scott, your BFF is going to need you to listen to a long rant later because he's not mad at her, just the situation itself that neither of them can help]

Cora: [poor poor Scott which I can take over Scott for if you want]

Stiles: [yes poor, Scott, which you may have to because nope, he needs to vent. and TMI. and just... yeah.]

Scott: [well he is here for when you need him. Probably just hanging out at his mom's house because Kira went home to New York to see family for Christmas]

Stiles: [yup, once Cora heads home to her family and he's showered, so coming over to hang with his BFF. And he just has that nervous energy that he's not going to vent right away, but there is something WRONG Scott and he wants you to ask him what's wrong but he's not going to just bring it all out]

Scott: [he'll let it go for a while, but when it gets to the point where Scott can practically smell his frustration he just sighs and looks over at him] Alright, dude, spit it out.

Stiles: Do you get this like overwhelming urge to bite Kira when you have sex?

Scott: [there's a long, long beat before ...] Uh, no. But Kira and I aren't ... having sex. Kate sort of ... cockblocked us and then we never really ... [there's a beat because Scott, you're getting off topic] No.

Stiles: Dude, that was like four months ago. You haven't fixed that yet? [well, Stiles is distracted now]

Scott: Dude, it's not something we're rushing. We were barely even dating before it happened, and I kind of almost killed her.

Stiles: Yeah, well I mean, that kinda sucked but it wasn't you that tried to kill her. It was the berserker thingie you trying to kill her.

Scott: [exhales a bit] We're just not there yet, okay? [though he's been thinking about it. and he wants to. a lot. but it's Kira's call to make and he's not going to push her] Can we get back on topic please?

Stiles: Right. But no, I just... Peter and Laura both had a talk to Cora about werewolf mating habits, and it's been freaking her out because she's worried she's going to hurt me. And I don't know how to handle it because now we're going to just like, stop having sex until who knows when until she figures it out and I don't want to stop having sex. I'm actually GOOD at sex!

Scott: [... wow okay, that's ... way too much information but that's what he signed up for as Stiles’ best friend. He also doesn't know what these werewolf mating things are that he's talking about so is this an uncomfortable conversation he's going to have to have with Derek later? Tabling that for later, focusing on Cora and Stiles now] Hurt you how?

Stiles: I dunno, kinda like overprotective jealous pinning me down and keeping me in a cave only for herself and oh yeah, the biting.

Scott: Biting?!

Stiles: Yeah, you didn't know about the biting thing?

Scott: ... No? [okay definitely having an awkward conversation with Derek later] I mean, it's not like she can turn you. She's a beta.

Stiles: No, but it's like a supernatural commitment things. There's the werewolf engaged level where you're just putting a mark on the person you want as your mate, and then there's werewolf marriage, where you get bit with their fangs and you’re kinda magically partnered and it's kinda unbreakable.

Scott: [there's a pause] Has she done the married one to you?

Stiles: No, we're just werewolf engaged. [and that is a smug grin and a thumbs up]

Scott: [blinking. A lot of blinking] For how long?

Stiles: Um... couple of months now. [he pulls down on his collar for Scott to see the bruise on his collar bone.]

Scott: [oh that's what that was. but at the same time] And you're just telling me this now?!

Stiles: ...... I thought you knew what it was!

Scott: Dude, Derek never tells me anything unless I specifically ask him! Why do you assume I know anything?!

Stiles: Because you're the alpha! And I mean, you didn't have any of those urges with Allison that you would have asked him about?

Scott: Why do you think I would want to ask Derek anything about sex? [seriously, Stiles.] And ... I mean, I thought about it but it wasn't ... super strong or anything. But we only had sex a couple times before her mom died and things got ... [complicated]

Stiles: Because he was like, the only other werewolf who talked to you that wasn't a psycho? Okay, so yeah, if you feel the urge to bite Kira, don't. But well, I guess with you being an alpha that's going to really suck because anyone you bite is going to be wolfified...

Scott: I don't think I can turn Kira into a werewolf if she's already a kitsune. [just putting that out there] And ... I don't know, dude. Do you want me to talk to her? I mean, I'm her alpha, so maybe I can help?

Stiles: NO! No, I really don't need her to know I told you about our sex life. She's already upset trying to figure it out and if the combined effort of Derek, Laura and Peter can't help her then maybe but I just... I don't know how to make her feel better. She was upset because.... [nope, sorry Cora, no filter on your BF when he's with his BFF] well, because we kinda almost forgot the condom and she thinks that her hormones don't want her to have me wear it and she can't do the whole birth control thing so dude, I just can't.

Scott: Okay. [good, because he didn't want to talk to her about that anyway. but he felt like he should offer] Okay, I just ... [sighs a bit] ... being with a human is different. Not that I have a whole lot of experience otherwise, but it's ... a lot. There's being with them and trying to make sure it's good for them but also having to keep yourself in check so that you don't accidentally wolf out while you're with them. I know that part is probably easier for her since she was born, not bitten, but ... she's lost control before. When Allison let her and Boyd out of the vault? It's been a while, but it's the kind of thing you are always working at. I guess with this mate stuff on top of it, it's probably a lot for her to handle.

Stiles: Yeah, I kinda get that. She does talk to me about what she feels, but she has a hard time putting it into words. I mean, she's a Hale, I kinda knew that getting in and all. I just... I don't want to lose what I have man. We're good. We're really, really good and I mean, I love her a lot. A LOT.

Scott: I know you do. I don't think you'd be here, talking to me about it if you didn't. But you said it's only been a couple of months, and most of the time she's been at school right? So you guys haven't really been around each other this much in a long time.

Stiles: No, not since like, Thanksgiving week. And we were looking forward to just having the house to ourselves while Dad's off at that sheriff convention but now we're probably staying at the loft for most of it and just... [sighs] If we can't figure this out, what are we going to do when I go off to Berkley?

Scott: So maybe she just needs to get used to it. Build up a tolerance like she does with the moon.

Stiles: But to do that, we would need to be having the sex.

Scott: Your dad leaves in a week, right? Give her a little time and maybe it'll be better. [takes a breath] At least she's aware of it. That's not a bad thing.

Stiles: [pouts] Yeah, I can last a week. [doesn't want to, but he can. He lasted 17 and a half years... he can last a week]

Scott: [reaches over and places a hand on his shoulder] She loves you. And I don't think she wants to stop either.

Stiles: [he bites his lips] What if she breaks up with me just because of this? I don't want that to happen.

Scott: She won't. She just needs to figure out how to make this work.

Stiles: [nods] I just... I don't want to lose her because of this. I really don't.

Scott: So just be patient with her. If she's already marking you as a mate, though, I don't think she's going to break up with you that easily.

Stiles: I hope not. [he rubs at his neck where the mark is] Cause I mean, if I have to, we can maybe talk about becoming a wolf too. If it helps her.

Scott: That's not the kind of thing you do just for her, dude. She'd tell you the same thing. Because it wouldn't be just when you're with her it'd be ... all the time. Every day.

Stiles: Yeah, I know. [but he would do it for her in a heartbeat. He bites at his nails, still nervous] I'm just not liking even the thought of losing her. I don't do good with loss. You know that.

Scott: I know. I know, man. [he wraps an arm around his shoulders] But I think if she was going to leave you about this, she wouldn't be talking to you about it. She'd just be ... gone.

Stiles: [he nods, leaning into Scott a bit. The anxiety is still rising because he's really just upsetting himself more than he needs to] I just... I just don't... I can't...

Scott: [yeah, he's picking up on that and he gives his shoulder a squeeze] Stiles, listen to me. She's not going anywhere. She's Cora and you're Stiles and yeah, this is complicated, but you can handle it. You just need to take a deep breath and figure it out.

Stiles: [he swallows and takes a deep breath, but he's spiraling down into that panic attack mode] I think... I think I need air...

Scott: [nods as he gets up] Okay, c'mon. Let's go for a walk.

Stiles: [nods and yeah, just going to let Scott lead him because he needs to calm down again]

Scott: [and with that they'll go for a bro walk and Scott will just ramble at him about pointless stuff until he calms down again]

Stiles: [and eventually he will be okay again and chime in on the babbling. Once he is back on solid mental ground...] Thanks man, I needed that.

Scott: Anytime, dude.

Stiles: I know I'm freaking out over something that's more than likely not going to happen.

Scott: I went through the same thing with Allison. You saw me.

Stiles: Yeah, I know. That's why I'm here flailing at you because you get it.

Scott: She'll figure it out, man. Just give her a little room to breathe. You guys have been together ... pretty much nonstop since she got back.

Stiles: I can do that. Do you... do you miss me?

Scott: [chuckles] Kira is gone pretty much until school starts again. We can do whatever you want, man.

Stiles: Alright. Cause you still owe me a bro night since you had to bail Christmas eve cause of your dad, so no, we just have established bro days.

Scott: Done. We'll make it happen.

Stiles: Awesome. Cause you know, you had me first so you kinda get me whenever you want. Pretty sure you can take her.

Scott: [he grins a bit before dragging him towards the restaurant] C'mon. Let's go get a burger.