new york wolves } { of coming clean and finding possibilities

[impetere]

Hal: [sliding in across the table from her at the dining hall during lunch] Hey, you got a minute?

Cora: [glances up, surprised and nods] Hey. Yeah, sure. [flips the textbook she's been reading closed]

Hal: It's about Stiles.

Cora: [she ... tenses slightly at that. Stiles has been avoiding her and blowing her off and she's not really sure what to think there] What about him?

Hal: He just told me that I had to find another roommate for next year because he can't commit to being here next semester. Do you know anything about that?

Cora: [her eyes widen a bit at that because no, she didn't know that] He's been blowing me off lately. I haven't actually seen him in a while.

Hal: Something's going on, Cora. He hasn't been to lacrosse practice since we got back from break, and Coach said that he's on medical leave from the team.

Cora: [it's that "medical leave" that has her perking up a little more, her stomach sinking at the implications] And he won't tell you what it is?

Hal: Nope, he won't talk about it. He just sits on his bed with his laptop and earphones most of the time when he's not talking to you on the phone. It's not like him.

Cora: Do you want me to go try and talk to him? I mean ... he's been blowing me off a lot lately. [and she hasn't really been sure what to think. She's starting to sink into that spiral of wondering if she did something wrong and not entirely sure how to fix it]

Hal: I think I've pretty much tried every way I can think of directly to ask. Maybe you'll have better luck. [he thinks a moment, then hands her his keys] I've got class until six and then meeting Alexis for a late dinner. He only had a morning class so he's probably in the room. Just get the keys back to me by dinner?

Cora: [nods as she takes them from him, letting her fingers curl around them] I'll see what I can do.

Hal: Just keep me in the loop? I'm worried about him, you know...

Cora: No, of course. I'll meet you on the quad after your class.

Hal: Awesome. Thanks. I just hope this isn't bad and he's just being an ass because of other reasons.

Cora: Me too. [though she's going to pissed at him if he's just being an ass over something fixable]

Hal: [and he will probably chat about something else after that until he has to go to class]

Cora: [Yep, idle chatter until he leaves, and then she'll get up and make her way over to the dorm. She lets herself in to the building, but stops short at the door, hesitating for a moment and opting to knock instead]

Stiles: [is listening to his textbook and taking notes, but he barely hears the door knock and he pulls an earbud out] Someone there?

Cora: [there's a pause before] Yeah. It's me.

Stiles: [sighs because nope, he isn't ready for this conversation. But he puts his laptop on the bed and goes to answer the door. He's scruffy and his circles under his eyes because he's not sleeping well, He's also in his pajamas because he totally went to class in them] Hey, sorry I was studying.

Cora: [at least he opened the door. She didn't want to have to use Hal's keys to force the issue] Sorry. It won't be long, I just ... I haven't seen you in a while. [and that sour part of his scent is still there. If anything it's gotten worse and she can't help but feel her stomach sinking] Can I come in?

Stiles: Yeah, sure. [he scratches the back of his neck, opening it to let her in, then closes it and stands by it. His hand is twitching and he just crosses it automatically to have it under his armpit to stop it, but there's a nervous energy around him in general] I've been meaning to invite you over but my grades are slipping so I've been trying to really focus on them.

Cora: [she nods a bit, looking around the rest of the room and trying to keep that scent and pile of bad feelings from getting the better of her] Maybe I can help? With the studying, I mean.

Stiles: Yeah, well when you're around, I kinda get distracted. I mean, ... [he's reaching for a word, his lips pursed as he tries to find it, then just huffs as he gives up and shrugs]

Cora: Right. [she's not facing him, but she is listening to his heartbeat, and while she does pick up on his frustration, she can't quite get a read on why it's there. Is it her or is it something else? But that isn't why she's here] Never mind, I just ... Hal's been worried about you, and he says you won't talk to him about it. He says that you may not be coming back next year?

Stiles: [his shoulders drop, and he's looking at the floor] I was going to tell you.

Cora: [and her heart sinks, because that means it's true, and she doesn't know what this means for them] Is everything okay?

Stiles: [he sucks on his lips. He had been hoping to find a better way to do this] I just... New York's not working for me. I ... I um... [searching for a word] I um, my dad's not going to pay for me to keep going here.

Cora: [she doesn't have to listen to his heartbeat to know that that's wrong, but she can hear the skipping anyway] So you're just ... going to go home? That's it? [she doesn't have a problem with long distance if that's what he wants but she has a feeling that that's not what's coming]

Stiles: I don't have a choice.

Cora: Well ... okay. [okay, if he has to go home then she'll try and stay positive. Try not to feel like the axe she knows is coming is hanging over them] I guess there's Skype and stuff. We could still talk. [it sounds clingy and stupid and part of her wishes he would just say it so that it's out there instead of lingering in the subtext of his words, but the other part desperately wishes he won't]

Stiles: [he sits on Hal's bed, not looking up at her as he folds his hands in his lap. His leg is bouncing nervously] Actually... I um... I'm probably not coming back. At all. So um........ I... it may be better... not to be... you and me.

Cora: [and there it is. and even though she saw it coming it still hits her like a smack in the face, all the hope that she had been clinging to crashing down around her. The words start to come before she can stop them, desperate not to lose something else] I don't care about the distance, Stiles. If you can't come see me, I'll come see you. [even if the notion of going back to Beacon Hills terrifies her, if it's to see him, she'll do it. She'll man up and figure it out.]

Stiles: [he reaches up to rub at his eyes, and rising emotions and frustration not helping him keep control over his symptoms as his hand fists and doesn't release as he tries to shake it out] Maybe... I don't want you to. Okay, I just... ... I don't want you to.

Cora: [and that makes her recoil like she's been slapped. She backs against his bed, stopping when she feels the small of her back hit the bed and nothing about this feels right. But she can't tell if it's her instincts being true, or it's just denial so that this doesn't hurt quite so much] Oh.

Stiles: [she would be able to smell the salt from his tears he is wiping away, and he can't look up at her] I'm sorry... I can't...

Cora: [the hurt doesn't fade and anger is safer. She looks up at him as he says he's sorry, and it's like a switch flips and she can't help but push, twist the screw a little further until she gets the actual answer out of him] Can't what? Just tell me the truth instead of stringing me along? Did you figure that eventually I'd get pissed enough and dump you instead?

Stiles: [he has words, he knows they are there but he can't find the right ones and he just presses his lips tight in frustration and shakes his head]

Cora: Then what, Stiles? Because you've been giving me the cold shoulder for weeks now, and you had me sitting here thinking it was me. If you didn't want me anymore than why didn't you just say so? That's how it usually works, isn't it? Guys get what they want, they get bored and they move on. [it's not true, not when it comes to him, or at least she didn't think it did, but she's pissed, and if he won't talk she will]

Stiles: [he grits his teeth because that was far from it. He wouldn't let her think that. He tries to shake out his hand again, and finally the frustration just comes out and his voice is louder than he expected] I'm dying, okay? I'm dying!

Cora: [she's not really good at faking emotions as a rule, so she doesn't look surprised. The anger fades to sadness and everything softens but surprise isn't part of it. It's hard to be surprised when the evidence has been right in front of you, and you've just been trying to ignore it. She watches him for a moment, before pushing off the bed and crossing the room to him, reaching for the hand he can't seem to shake out] How?

Stiles: [he lets her take it, shaking his head] It's called Frontotemporal dementia. It's what killed my mom.

Cora: [she takes his hand gently between hers, just like after that first nightmare. Her eyes focus on that, because if she looks at him she won't keep it together and right now she needs to] And there's no treatment or anything?

Stiles: [it will slowly start to open as she works it, but more from the muscles relaxing than him being able to. He sucks on his lips and shakes his head] No. It's... it'll kill me. Mine is worse than mom had.

Cora: [her eyes close, exhaling slowly] Why didn't you just tell me?

Stiles: Didn't want to. Didn’t want anyone to know.

Cora: So you thought just breaking up with me would be better?

Stiles: [nods] You.... [squints as he tries to find a word] You need better.

Cora: I don't want better. I love you. [this isn't the time to tell him that for the first time, this isn't the moment that it should be, because she's basically admitting that she cares far more than she should, but he needs to hear it, to understand why she isn't just going to let him walk away]

Stiles: I don't... I love you too. I don't want you see me die.

Cora: People die all the time. [she knows it far better than most] Even if you don't want me there, not knowing would be worse.

Stiles: [he tries to say something, struggling to find the right words, and then just pulls his phone out. He opens a website and holds it out to her. It's the site he uses to verify his symptoms and he lays out what he has] I have maybe a year before I can't be me.

Cora: A year is a long time.

Stiles: Read.

Cora: [she watches him for a moment before she does, looking down at the phone and processing all of it]

Stiles: [he can finally flex his hand again and rubs at it, starting to calm back down now that the elephant in the room has been said out loud.] My dad is getting me help because he lived through it with my mom too. I remember, and it will get bad. I'd rather you just remember me not like that.

Cora: So you'd rather I remember you as the guy who dumped me then died? [really, Stiles?]

Stiles: Yes. [he knows what you'd see, Cora. He saw it firsthand. He's been seeing it again in his nightmares.] I don't want pity.

Cora: Maybe it wouldn't be pity. Maybe it would actually help you.

Stiles: [he sighs. Because nothing can help him] I wasn't supposed to fall in love. I promised I wouldn't hurt you.

Cora: [she lets his hand go, before moving closer and sliding her arms around his waist, letting her forehead rest against his] Yeah, well. Too late for that. [they're already in this, and he's not going to get rid of her that easily]

Stiles: [and yup, he's just going to start crying at this point] I don't want to die.

Cora: [maybe he doesn't have to. Maybe she can ask Laura to do something, maybe ... maybe there is something that can help. But she won't worry about that right now. She'll just tug him closer, letting him bury his face in her shoulder and keep him close]

Stiles: [yeah, going to cry for a bit until he just has no energy left and all his energy is on her] I'm sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry...

Cora: [she shakes her head, turning and pressing a kiss to his temple. There are tears threatening to escape for her as well, but she needs to be stronger right now] It's okay. It's okay. [eventually she pulls back to look at him, thumbs coming up to brush against his cheeks gently] I have to go give Hal his keys back, and run home for a bit. But I can come back and stay tonight, if you want.

Stiles: [he nods] Why do you have Hal’s kays? [that's how he pronounced it]

Cora: Because he's worried about you. And he thought that I'd stand a better chance of getting it out of you. [she sighs softly] I won't tell him if you don't want me to, but ... you have to tell him, Stiles. He deserves to know.

Stiles: Can you help me?

Cora: [she nods] Yeah. Of course I can. He's having a late dinner with Alexis, so I'll tell him we'll talk about it when I get back.

Stiles: [just nods] I be here. It takes longer to do work now.

Cora: Okay. [she pauses for a moment, before pushing up on her toes to kiss him gently] I'll see you later.

Stiles: [nods, and once she's gone, he's going to go sit on his own bed, curling up around his laptop and just dicking around on the internet before going to the "online support community" for dementia teens and reading through forums]

Cora: [and she'll go to talk to Hal and give him his keys, and then she'll get on the train to go home and once she's there, she just makes a beeline right for her room, the threads of her control and keeping it together unraveling as she goes. She does at least manage to make it to her bedroom door before it hits her completely and she can't keep back the tears anymore, her back hitting the door frame as she slides down and slumps against the ground. there's a few gasping breaths before it all falls through and she buries her face against her knees to try and muffle the sobs]

Derek & Peter: [are both in the kitchen with the paper and coffee and lift their heads. They look at each other silently as they listen to her progress, and when the crying starts Derek is on his feet] I got her. [and he's rushing up the stairs and knocking on her door]

Cora: [deep breath, tries to pull it together] I'm fine.

Derek: Yeah, and I'm the pope.

Cora: Nice to meet you, your holiness.

Derek: [eyeroll] You're not fooling anyone. [his voice shows he's worried]

Cora: [she sighs heavily, closing her eyes as she leans back against the wall] I don't want to talk about it. [not yet. not until she can articulate the words without desperation, until she can ask the right questions, ask for what she wants without making it sound like there's a dumb, desperate teenager asking]

Derek: [purses his lips, then just nods] Alright, but Peter and I are downstairs if you need us.

Cora: Okay.

Derek: [and he's going to come downstairs and shrug, which Peter will roll his eyes and shake his head, but they will resume their silent presence with both their ears aimed upstairs]

Cora: [it takes her a moment, and she pulls herself together, before she leaves her room to wash her face, wanting to clean up a bit. Then she packs for the night and makes her way downstairs again, dropping the duffle bag and backpack next to the breakfast bar before sliding up on the stool] I'm going to stay with Stiles tonight if that's okay?

Peter: I guess that depends on if Stiles is the one that caused the crying episode upstairs. Because I'm not sure I want you staying with someone who made you that upset right now.

Cora: Yes and no. It's ... [there's a look towards Peter, and she exhales slowly] I got the answer I was looking for. [months ago. When that scent first showed up and she wasn't sure what it was]

Derek: Answer? What are you two...

Peter: [holds his hand up to cut Derek off, his eyes looking at Cora both sympathetic and curiously] How bad?

Cora: Bad. [that's all she really wants to say but she knows she should probably elaborate] He has frontotemporal dementia.

Derek: [and he can guess what's going on and he just goes to sit next to his sister, reaching over to put a hand on her shoulder]

Peter: [licks his lips, nodding] I'm sorry, sweetheart.

Cora: [she closes her eyes for a moment, and her mouth works as she tries to find the right words, wanting to make sure she does this right] If he ... would the bite work for him the same way it works for other illnesses? Or ... would adding our healing factor into things make it worse? [she knows how it sounds but she feels like it would be irresponsible of her not to ask]

Peter: [crossing his arms, looking at Derek a moment before back at Cora] It depends. There's no guarantee he would even survive it. And how the disease works. I'd have to talk to an emissary to see if there is anyone who's had a similar disease that they tried, and what happened. I mean, dementia is a disease of the brain, and if he does survive the bite and changes, if his brain is too damaged to be repaired, he could be a wolf that can't learn control, or it drives him mad and we would have to handle that.

Cora: I know. And I don't want to put him through that. [she's not dumb, she knows how these things work] But ... if there's a chance, I can't not ask. He doesn't want to die.

Peter: I'll see if I can talk to Nadia and put in a request with their emissary for more information. You'll want to talk to your sister though. [he'll have to ask Nadia if Victor would be okay if they turned a wolf while in their territory, because if he held objection, Cora would have to plead her case to him, and not her sister]

Cora: [nods. She knows that it's complicated, and she just wants to know if there's a chance] He doesn't even know what I am yet. I wasn't going to say anything until I asked Laura.

Laura: Asked Laura what? [as she comes back in to the penthouse, Barron next to her on his leash]

Peter: [sighs and steps out from behind the counter] It seems that there has been a very unfortunate development in the life of Mr. Stilinski.

Laura: [her eyebrows go up in confusion and she glances back to Cora]

Cora: ... He has frontotemporal dementia.

Laura: [eyes widen and then she nods] Isn't that what his mom had?

Cora: [nods]

Derek: How long does he have? I mean, was he just diagnosed?

Cora: He says his case is worse than the one his mom had. He's got about a year before he's not himself anymore.

Derek: [purses his lips, squeezing her shoulder gently]

Peter: He probably had it for a while then, undiagnosed. Or he knew and didn't want people to know and can't hide it any longer.

Cora: [nods, more to the second than the first] He knew.

Laura: [sighs] So since I'm lacking a medical degree, I'm guessing the asking Laura is you want to try and give him the bite.

Peter: I'm going to do some due diligence research first. Case studies on this particular condition and if anyone has tried it. Plus a few inquiries on jurisdiction.

Laura: If you make it clear that it's more of a matter of the heart than me trying to build power, then I don't think it'll be a problem with Victor. Particularly if Cora asks him herself. He's a softie. But he might prefer to do it himself, for the aforementioned reason.

Peter: Stiles is also native to Beacon Hills. But there is also benefit for you to do it, Laura, with his help. [you need to learn eventually is what those eyes are saying]

Laura: [yes, she knows, but she's not going to start an international incident in someone else's territory. Moving on] Let us talk to Victor and Nadia and their emissary and see what they say. Have you brought this up to him yet?

Cora: [shakes her head] I didn't want to give him false hope.

Peter: Which is probably for the best right now.

Cora: [she nods] I'll wait for you to tell me what to do.

Derek: Just go be with him. Right now, having someone there to help when he's hurting is the best you can offer. [there's a sympathetic look in his eyes]

Cora: [nods before getting up and gathering her things together. Before she gets out the door, she pulls her sister into a hug, burying her face in her shoulder] Thank you.

Laura: [hugs her close and rubs her back lightly before nodding] It'll be okay.

Cora: [nods, before turning and heading out the door, letting it close behind her]

Laura: [... waits until she's gone before making her way over to the counter, burying her face in her hands]

Derek: [and now goes to rub the other sister's back]

Peter: We will figure this out.

Laura: Is it really worth the risk? If this kills him, is that going to be any better for her? Or what if he doesn't take the bite?

Derek: You don't know if it will or not. Not until he makes the choice and you give it to him.

Peter: And from the look of it, the boy is going to die no matter what.

Laura: I know. Just ... we should be bracing for the fallout for her either way. [sighs] She picked a hell of a first boyfriend.

Peter: Well, if we do end up changing him and he survives and doesn't go psycho... it may be her only boyfriend. So there is a plus there?

Derek: You're really reaching.

Laura: Those are also a lot of maybes.

Peter: So I should probably start working on trying to find some actual answers. I will leave you two to... snuggle. [and he's going to head to his room to get dressed in something that will attempt to hide the tattoo so he can visit the Kirsanovs properly]

Laura: [nods slowly, before shaking her head] Wait. I'll go with you.

Peter: [is about to ask if she's sure but stops himself. Nope, she's the alpha, and technically, it's her responsibility] I'll meet you at the front door in fifteen then?

Laura: [nods in agreement, before turning back to Derek] Looks like it's just you and the big guy tonight.

Derek: That's fine. Barron and I can be bachelors together.

Laura: [nods a bit] Keep an eye on her, okay? Through all of this? If this goes bad, she's going to need someone who's been there.

Derek: [deep breath, then nods] Yeah, I can do that.

Laura: [sighs, before pressing up on her toes to give him a kiss on the cheek] Thank you.

Derek: [nods, then just absently rubs Baron's head] I'm thinking beer and burgers. What about you, buddy?

Laura: [Barron gives a WOOF in the affirmative. that's a good plan. Laura just smiles as she goes to grab her jacket] Enjoy.

Peter: [comes jogging back down, the tattoo not entirely covered but close enough] Shall we?

Laura: [nods] Yep. Let's do this.

Peter: [and off they go to pay a visit to their Russian friends]