new york wolves } { of surprise coffee and getting closure

[likeababyduck]

Derek: [he has a smile as he's waiting for Sweets, the sheet from the pad in his jacket pocket, holding two coffees since he got the first appointment of the day slot today]

Sweets: [comes up and squints a bit when he sees him] You actually look happy to see me. I'm starting to wonder if I should be concerned.

Derek: Maybe you should be. I even brought you coffee. [holds it out]

Sweets: [takes the coffee for a moment, before taking off the lid and handing it off to Maria] I feel like I should make you sip it first.

Maria: [looks up at him blearily] Uh, no. I'm not going to be your official food tester. I love you, Doc, but not that much.

Sweets: [smirks] Guess I'll just have to take the risk. Come on in.

Derek: I promise I'll hide the body for you, Maria, so you don't have to do any heavy lifting. [getting up]

Maria: You are a good man, Detective.

Sweets: [and he'll lead the way into his office, closing the door behind them] You're in a good mood, this morning.

Derek: I feel better. I've been thinking about what you've said.

Sweets: Oh? What'd you figure out?

Derek: Flack. We talked, and figured things out.

Sweets: Good. Did you figure out a middle ground?

Derek: Yeah. We talked about how I felt, and why he did what he did. I think we can just start from there.

Sweets: Good.

Derek: I also started working on this last night. It's not done, but I think it's helping me put things in a different perspective. [he held out the folded up list]

Sweets: [nods as he takes the list from him, reading it over] This is good. Really good. [he pauses] I thought you said you didn't want to go back to Beacon Hills.

Derek: Not for good. I mean, I know it's my family's land and all, but I just sometimes feel drawn back there. I think I need to go and make peace and say goodbye.

Sweets: Saying goodbye can be an important step in getting closure.

Derek: We never really got that, you know. Laura was so afraid, and I mean, we were being hunted. We literally just ran.

Sweets: Going back could be a good way of bringing things full circle.

Derek: That's what I was thinking.

Sweets: Good. All of this is good, Derek. You're looking to the future.

Derek: [shrugs] I know it's not a lot, but I was talking with my cousin last night, and I mean, I don't feel like making long term plans... but just thinking of things that could happen in the short term...

Sweets: [he nods] No, short term plans are just as good as long term ones. It means you're thinking ahead.

Derek: [he nods] Okay.

Sweets: And a sports car would be very impractical. But they are a lot of fun to drive.

Derek: Maybe I'll rent one and take a long driving vacation one day instead.

Sweets: [nods as he hands the list back to him] Just make sure you keep adding new goals as you scratch them off the list. It'll keep you moving forward.

Derek: [takes it and tucks it back into his jacket] I'll do my best.

Sweets: [leans back in his seat] Is there anything else you want to talk about before we dig back into Kate again?

Derek: No, I think I'm good at the moment.

Sweets: Okay. So let's go to the morning after you arrested Kate. When did you find out she was dead?

Derek: I was coming home and Flack was at the penthouse with the rest of my family.

Sweets: Was he the one who told you?

Derek: Yeah.

Sweets: After everything you'd done to make sure she'd stand trial, how did it feel to hear that was taken from you?

Derek: I didn't want to believe it at first. I was that close and I mean, I was still trying to recover from the day before. And then it just all came crashing down. I was angry someone had just taken that from me.

Sweets: As you should be. How do you feel about it now?

Derek: [he thinks] Numb. Probably not a good word, but I mean, I'm not angry like that anymore. More frustrated at the loss of getting justice. I'm not really happy she's dead - I'm glad she's no longer a threat, yeah, but I'd never wish that kind of death on anyone.

Sweets: Are you worried about her family?

Derek: I've been worried about her family since the day of the fire. But Laura made a deal with Kate's brother to give them the information on the pack that assassinated her for us to be held blameless as they saw the evidence we had on the fire.

Sweets: So your family is safe. That has to be a good feeling.

Derek: Yeah, that's probably one of the best things that come from this

Sweets: And Kate being gone does mean that that chapter of your life can finally close.

Derek: Yeah. I mean, it's not going to bring my family back... but in a way I was able to make up for what I did in a way.

Sweets: And how does that feel?

Derek: It just feels like some of the weight I've carried around was lifted.

Sweets: Good. It is good, right?

Derek: [nods] Yeah.

Sweets: How's that changed your outlook with work?

Derek: Well, right now I'm stuck at the desk, so my relationship with work involves trying not to get too many papercuts. [there's a small smirk there]

Sweets: [a small look] You became a cop to get justice for your family. Now that that chapter is closed, you think the work will still feel the same?

Derek: Yeah, I do. Because it's not just about that anymore. I became a cop for the justice. I wanted to become a detective to be able to help other victims' families find their justice. It's not about me anymore. It's the job. It's making sure there isn't another little kid who goes through life scared of people who hurt their family.

Sweets: [nods, before giving him a small smile] Then you should probably get back to it.

Derek: [he looks up, his eyes widen and then he smiles] Seriously?

Sweets: [nods] Seriously. I'll sign off on it today.

Derek: Thank you. I really appreciate it.

Sweets: However, I want you to know that if you want to continue our sessions, I'm available. I feel like we've made a lot of progress, and I'd like to keep going.

Derek: [nods] Actually... one of the things we talked about in the beginning... you're right. I need to learn how to trust people again. It's not something that comes naturally to me... and outside my family, I tried to list who I actually count as my friend and seeing how small it is, compared to what I used to be before the fire... something's still broken in there, and I'm admitting it, and asking for help. I may not want a relationship, not right now... but I don't want to be alone either.

Sweets: Okay. [he nods once] Still want to keep up twice a week, at least for now?

Derek: We can try, but if I'm no longer bound to a desk, my schedule becomes a bit more chaotic.

Sweets: We'll play it by ear.

Derek: But minimum once a week, if nothing else. I'll find the time.

Sweets: Good.

Derek: Well, then it's a good thing I didn't poison your coffee today. [smirks]