puppy love } { of break ups and break downs

[beanchaointe]

Stiles: [so he had pulled the disappearing act on Friday, and since he had skipped school with no excuse note - his father's revenge - he had detention for the week. But he didn't really care. He's just very quiet and only really talking to Scott and Paige, and they can tell from his lack of sarcasm that he doesn't want to talk about it. Scott wants to be Team Stiles, but he knows from the drunken rambling on the phone Saturday night that Stiles is well aware he screwed up, is hurt, angry at the situation - not at Cora - and really just hates his life at the moment. So he's taking care of his bro and helping shield him from Cora interaction more to keep Stiles from doing anything stupid than anything else. It included swapping seats in a few classes so that they weren't sitting next to each other with an apologetic smile at Cora]

Lydia: [that's okay, Cora's actually cool with that - she and Lydia had already discussed swapping lab partners in physics so that Cora's working with Danny and Stiles has Lydia, which could either be a blessing or a curse depending on how this initial conversation was going to go as they work on a simple machines lab in the back of the classroom] Can I say something and you just listen and not react first?

Stiles: If it's not about physics, probably not. [and he's not going to look up from his textbook]

Lydia: It's not about physics. [but she's going to say it anyway, because she needs to get it off her chest. Cora's been protect her for years, now it's her turn to do the same. so she waits until Cora leaves the room before she starts] Look, I'll admit that I didn't really get you two at first, and I thought that Cora could do way better for a first boyfriend, but after a while, I started to see it a little more. You're kind of adorable in that awkward, gangly sort of way, and Cora's always had a thing for the Andrew Garfield type. And past that, you were good for her, and good to her, so I didn't say anything. And I'm not saying you don't have a right to be angry because this sucks, and if anyone understands how much this situation sucks, it's me. [because Stiles isn't just losing his girlfriend, she's losing her best friend, and the only person in school that she's actually able to be herself with] But please don't make these last few months awful for her? I want her to remember you as a good thing. And I've seen you fight with Scott, I know when you're pissed about something you can be petty, and I'm not saying that to be critical, I'm saying it because Cora will take it because she thinks she deserves it and she doesn't. So just ... can we make this amicable? Please?

Stiles: [he's still just looking at his book. He's listening, but as she said he can be petty. So he doesn't say anything but just turns the page as he did say he didn't want to talk about it]

Lydia: [that's fine. she'll go back to work, because at least she said her peace, and by then, Cora is swinging back in from the bathroom and could hear her again]

Stiles: [and when class is done, he's going to just grab his bag and head out,] See ya later.


Lydia: [and she'll just meet up with Cora again and off they go to their next class. Cora is also not being subtle about her distaste for Allison anymore so Lydia will be quietly apologizing to her other best friend because a) Allison and Derek didn't actually break up and b) Allison totally gets it and told her to take care of Cora but Lydia feels bad anyway]

Stiles: [yeah, he's not even going to watch Derek and Allison. And he's going to just pick at his lunch, not hungry]

Scott: [trying to at least pull Stiles into conversation] Hey, at least they didn't suspend you from the team. You'll still make practice after detention.

Paige: Yeah, at least there's that. You guys are going into the playoffs soon, right?

Stiles: Yeah. Not sure how much action either of us will see. We pretty much suck.

Scott: You suck less than I do. Coach at least puts you in.

Paige: You never know. Maybe some evil team will decimate the first line and he'll have to put you in.

Stiles: And then we get to watch Scott have an asthma attack on the field. [pats Scott's back] I'll pack extra inhalers for you.

Scott: Thanks. [rolling his eyes]

Paige: [and that gets him a look too] Point is - sports. [a beat] That's as much as I know about lacrosse.

Stiles: Put the ball in the other teams net using your stick, and try not to die. That's pretty much it.

Paige: I'd say you should have picked a less violent sport, but ... pretty much all sports are violent.

Scott: It's also a good way to take out your frustrations. [looks at Stiles] Maybe you shouldn't skip practice.

Stiles: [scoffs] You trying to have me accidently kill someone?

Paige: .... I think he's right, maybe there's a better way to do this.

Scott: He could just talk to her.

Stiles: Guys... please.

Paige: I was actually going to recommend a heavy bag, but Scott's suggestion works too.

Stiles: You don't think I don't want to? But I can't. It's just better this way.

Scott: How is it better? You're miserable. She's miserable.

Stiles: It's just going to delay the inevitable. There's no future between us, and I don't think she wants it anyway. She just assumed I wouldn't go with her if she asked.

Paige: Would you have? Given up your dad and Scott and everything here just for her?

Stiles: [nods] Yeah, because unlike her cut off forever scenario, I know it's not that way. First of all, if they're dropping off the radar, that means changing their identities completely down to social security numbers. And this is because they are worried that they can't handle the problems now. That doesn't mean two years down the road they won't be in a position that they will be strong enough, and can lighten that up. Because otherwise that means Derek or Cora can never go to college and none of them can work a job with a real paycheck. Own property. Vote in an election. Have a social media account. Go to a hospital. Because all of that is easy to discover with just the right online program and a password, or someone on the inside in law enforcement. So no, with the internet it's virtually impossible to cut off and drop off the face of the planet.

Paige: Yeah, but the Hales have a shitton of money and can easily buy ways around those things. Also, there's no guarantee that it will either, so you'd be giving up your entire life just to be with a girl that might not have lasted anyway. She's your first girlfriend, and I get that this sucks, Stiles, but ... most of them don't wind up being the last. [because pragmatism is Paige's strong suit] Also, at the same time, having to choose between your family and someone you love has to suck. Maybe she was saving you from grappling with the same struggles she was.

Stiles: Maybe, but the thing is - she took away my choice. I don't get to choose if I get to stay with her or not. I'm supposed to just deal with it, and that's not fair to me. I get why she's doing it, I don't hate her because of it - but that hurts. And I'm not going to just enjoy a few more months of something I don't get a say in keeping. Because every time I'd be with her, all I'd think about is how none of it matters now because it's going to end the day after graduation and I can't stop it. I already did that with my mom, knowing she was going to die and praying for it to change so I could keep her one more day. I can't go through that again with her. [rubs at his eyes] I just can't.

Paige: Okay. Then don't. I'm not going to judge you for that. [and to be fair, that's not what Lydia was asking either] But as large as it is, Beacon Hills is a small place. You can't avoid her being there, especially since you go to the same school. So maybe just talking to her to balance the scales and get you both on the same page might help make this a little easier.

Scott: [rubbing Stiles' back] And it doesn't have to be today. If you need another day or two...

Stiles: [shifts away from the affection from his best friend] Yeah, I get it guys. Just not right now. I'm pretty sure I'll just screw things up further if I talk to her. And to be fair - she's the one who broke up with me. She should be the one to come talk to me first.

Paige: Yeah, that's never gonna happen. [sighs] Because if I know Cora, she's pretty convinced you're angry with her, and I don't think she's that big a glutton for punishment to try and initiate what she's expecting to be a verbal beating. That, and yes, she broke up with you. Since it's obvious that getting back together would be a bad idea, what exactly does she have to apologize for?

Stiles: I didn't say she had to apologize. And I never said I was angry at her. I'm not. I can't be. The situation, yes. Her sister, yeah. The Argents - fuck yeah. But her - no. I can't.

Paige: Then ... maybe it would help if you let her know that? Even just text her or something so that she knows it's ... safe. Because if she has to leave, you two ignoring each other would hurt less than her leaving knowing for sure that you hate her. You might have to just ... break that ice in order to get her to talk to you.

Stiles: OH my god, fine. [he pulls out his phone and goes to text Cora "Because everyone thinks it needs clarification - I don't hate you. I hate the situation. Big difference." and then he shows it to them] There, I told her. Happy? [and he is going to just pick up his pretty much uneaten tray.] I'm going to go study for my math test before class. I'll find you guys later. [and he's going to just go sit in the stairwell leading to the broiler room to pretend to study]

Cora: [and Cora will have probably heard most of that in the lunchroom as Stiles' voice is one of the things she's used to focusing on to drown out the rest of the lunchroom to keep from being overwhelmed so when the text comes in she knows the frustration with which it was given, and honestly? Doesn't really make her feel better. She doesn't even really know what to say to him, so she'll just let him go for now. She'll keep going to class, go through the motions, and part ways with Lydia at the end of the day because she needs to go home and for the moment, she's just going to hope that Laura isn't there. And just in case she is, she'll just climb in her bedroom window to hide in her room]

Stiles: [and he is going to finish classes, sit in detention with Mr. Harris whom he HATES and is hated by, and then go to practice where he ends up going a bit too hard on himself and the others which Coach LOVES but Stiles' body hates and he is going to be sore and laying on the floor having covered himself with frozen vegetables]

Cora: [and in a fit frustration and needing to isolate herself in that time, Cora's torn apart her room, sorting through the things that she's going to take with her and what's getting given away or sold and in the end she winds up with a box of stuff that needs to go back to Stiles, most of it being clothing, but some of it being movies he wanted her to watch and other things that they may have shared, and leaves again going out her window and heading over to Stiles' house and knocking on the door, because it's clearly not appropriate for her to climb in his window anymore.]

Sheriff: [and he will go and answer the door, smiling when he sees her] Hello, Cora.

Cora: [small smile in return] Hi, Sheriff. Is Stiles here?

Sheriff: Yeah, he's up in his room. [and he holds the door open more for her to enter]

Cora: [starts to move in then stops] I just wanted to drop this off for him. I don't want to bother him.

Sheriff: [holds his hands up] Sorry, chain of evidence rules - you give it to the person who it's intended for. Can't help you there. [because he is of the opinion you're both being melodramatic and need to be locked in a room together]

Cora: [she is not being melodramatic! she just doesn't want to fight with him and the conversation she overheard in the lunchroom is not making her think that there won't be fighting, but hey! she can just go in, drop it off, say goodbye. In and out. so she just nods and makes her way upstairs to knock lightly on his bedroom door]

Stiles: [not thinking it's anyone but his dad] I'm decent. [because that's really what the Sheriff cares about mostly when he knocks]

Cora: [hems and haws for a moment before opening the door and, quietly] I just wanted to give this back to you.

Stiles: [and he will shift, rolling to sit up quickly and sending those veggie bags flying a bit to the ground] Hey... um... thanks?

Cora: No problem. [and then she'll place the box down on the bed and go to back out] I should go.

Stiles: [he should let her go but he sighs] Did you get my text? [because she could have blocked him]

Cora: [turns back around to face him again before nodding] Yeah. And ... I heard you at lunch. I just didn't really know what to say.

Stiles: Oh. [because he said a lot at lunch] Well, I guess if you heard you know everything. [even about his mom which he hadn't told her about really in detail, and he just looks down at his hands] I guess if you heard... you don't have to stay if you don't want to.

Cora: I do want to stay. [she pauses for a moment because it's not about what she wants. This is Stiles' space now, not theirs] And I want you to tell me not ... me overhear you telling it to someone else. [because werewolf hearing is cheating, it might be different]

Stiles: [sighs, and then he looks up at her, just worn] I'm not mad at YOU, Cora. You I love. I'm mad at everything else, but not you.

Cora: [she looks down at her hands] Paige wasn't completely right. I mean, she was partially right, I didn't want to make you choose. But I also don't want you to come. Not because I don't love you or don't want to be with you but because we're not moving because we want to, we're moving to survive and ... I don't want that for you.

Stiles: But you see you're taking away my choice in doing that, right?

Cora: I do. And I get that it's not fair. But it's also not your decision if I don't ask. It's mine. I want you to be here, with your dad and Scott, and not have to constantly be looking over your shoulders looking for enemies that aren't yours. You're eighteen. You should go to college and get a good job and have a family and ... I can't promise you that. I can't even promise you me. I'm sorry if it hurts you and I'm sorry that I'm leaving and I'm sorry that we didn't get a chance to do those things because if I could, I'd do them with you. But I can't.

Stiles: [and he pushes himself up, groaning because he is sore, but he moves to her] Cora... you do realize that you should do all those things too, right? College, job... family. You let your enemies take that from you, and they've already won without dealing a single blow.

Cora: [she shrugs] I was going to take a year off for school anyway, and maybe I will still have that stuff someday. But I don't want to be the thing standing in your way.

Stiles: I think you underestimate my stubbornness. If I wanted it, I would get it one way or another. College can be done online. Jobs can be telecommuted. But families are kinda in person type things.

Cora: I know. I don't want to take you from yours and where you're safe. I know you're stubborn and I know that you'd find a way but ... it shouldn't have to be that hard for you. You shouldn't have to jump through hoops.

Stiles: Maybe.... but you're worth it.

Cora: How do you know that? I'm the only person you've ever been with. Maybe there's someone else who'll be better and available and not having people that'll be out to try and kill you.

Stiles: How do you know you're not?

Cora: I don't. But if I am, then maybe we'll find our way back one day.

Stiles: If you feel you get to a place where your sister will let you. [the venom is at Laura, not her]

Cora: [grits her teeth] That's not fair.

Stiles: [sighs] Sorry. Again, not mad at you. The situation.

Cora: [closes her eyes before taking a step closer to him] I love you. I probably always will. And maybe this is me taking the easy way out and maybe there are ways, but I've lost too many things this year. Too many people. I need you to be safe, Stiles. Please. And if it's really meant to be, if it's really meant to be us, then ... we'll find each other again.

Stiles: I love you too. But I've lost people too, you know. People I love who get taken from me and I can't stop it. And you leaving doesn't guarantee my safety. I've already been hurt by your enemies, and they don't scare me. And you don't know what the future brings anymore than I. But I love you, and I will do what you want because of that. And while I want to be with you while you're still here, it's just going to hurt too much to be with you and know I can't keep you - to know that you may just disappear into the night and never speak or see me again. And I can't do that again. I just can't go through that again and I don't know how to prepare for that...

Cora: [she shakes her head] I wouldn't expect you to. I couldn't keep that a secret for months and then leave, I had to tell you.

Stiles: It's not just you. [he takes a deep breath] Cora... I've never told you how my mom died.

Cora: Do you want to? Because you don't have to.

Stiles: [he purses his lips, and goes to close the door so his dad doesn't have to hear] No, but I think you have to. Just... so you know where I'm coming from and why I react the way I do.

Cora: [she nods] Okay.

Stiles: [he goes to his desk, looking at the board above it a moment before pulling off a picture and walking back to her] This was me and my mom. I was eight.

Cora: [moves closer and takes the picture from him] She's pretty.

Stiles: She was then. That was the last time we had her. She died a year later, but that was the day I lost her. [he takes the picture back] Do you know what frontal temporal dementia is?

Cora: I know what dementia is. [she doesn't know the specifics of that particular disease though]

Stiles: This kind affects the parts of your brain that deal with personality, behavior and language. It affects younger people- even teenagers. My mom started to develop it when I was a baby. By the time we took this picture, she had gotten bad enough that she needed to stay at the long care facility at the hospital. [he looks at his mom] My mom loved me, but the year leading up to this they couldn't hide it anymore. She was convinced that I was a demon on her bad days... that I was going to kill her. I sometimes had to hide in my room until Dad got home. After that, he kept me at the station until he was ready to leave work so I wasn't alone. But on her good days we would sit and watch movies and make up stories to each other. But after this day... she was gone. No more good days, no matter how much I prayed for one. It was like I was looking at a stranger, and no matter how much I tried to remind her who I was... she couldn't. [he looks at Cora] I couldn't stop her from dying, I couldn't keep her. Dad said that for that year I just cried myself to sleep every night because she was there and I could see her, I could be with her... but I knew she was going to die and I was desperate not to let her go. And when she did die... I locked myself in my room and refused to come out because it hurt so much. I had nightmares for weeks. I'd have panic attacks all the time. Even today, I still have a hard time thinking about back then. [his hand is shaking] The grief counselor said that I don't do well with loss. Dad wouldn't even get me a pet after that. I freak out every time Scott has a bad asthma attack. And now... right now it feels like a vice on my chest when I think about you leaving.

Cora: [she reaches over and takes, giving it a small squeeze] I'm sorry.

Stiles: So yeah, I don't take loss well, especially loss I have no control over.

Cora: I know. [she leans over to kiss him on the cheek] But you'll be okay without me. You still have Scott and your dad. And you'll go to school and kick ass and meet a great girl ... or guy, if you decide to explore that end of things ... and you'll forget all about me. And you'll be so happy. I know it.

Stiles: Kinda hard to think about that when the one I love who makes me happy is sitting right here.

Cora: I know. [she sighs as she rests her head against his shoulder, more out of habit than anything else] But it'll get better. I promise.

Stiles: Not if I know you're suffering somewhere out there and I can't help.

Cora: I'll be okay. I'll be good if I know you're happy. [she nods] So that's how you help me. Go ... be awesome. Take Scott and take over the world.

Stiles: [snorts] Yeah, like that's going to happen.

Cora: [she laughs] I'm sure that you and Scott will find a cure for cancer or found the next Apple or something equally awesome. I can feel it.

Stiles: Scott's going to be a vet. I don't know what I'm going to be, but I'm just hoping not to screw it up.

Cora: You won't. I have faith in you.

Stiles: So what are we going to do?

Cora: [exhales slowly] I'm going to go. Because I really want to kiss you right now, and that would be bad. And that'll be it.

Stiles: I really want to kiss you too. And more. But you're right in that it would be bad. I don't know how we're going to be able to do this until graduation.

Cora: [yeah, definitely more. one last time before she can't have it anymore, but that isn't fair or reasonable to him] We'll figure it out. [a beat] Or ... I could always tell Laura we can leave before that.

Stiles: That's up to you and Laura and Derek. Just promise me you won't just disappear, but will at least say goodbye?

Cora: [she nods] I will. [and her hand is still in his and she's too close - she takes a deep breath and starts to pull away] I should go.

Stiles: [he holds onto her hand probably a moment to long] I'm sorry I don't know how to love and let go easily.

Cora: I know. I don't either. [and sadly she rocked that will save and she's going to just going to let go of his hand and start to move towards the door]

Stiles: [and he is going to just let her hand go and stay on his bed, reaching up to rub at his eyes, trying to breathe through and keep a panic attack from starting]

Cora: [it's the anxiety that gets her and she turns around to face him again] It'll be okay, Stiles.

Stiles: I know. [trying to focus] I know. I'm okay. [lies]

Cora: [she watches him for a moment and she wants to go to him but she knows she shouldn't. so she leaves faster, making her way back downstairs, and looking over at the sheriff before she leaves] He's not okay. [and she's clearly very upset about that, but that's all she says before leaving the Stilinski house for the last time]

Sheriff: [and he's up with that, rushing upstairs to deal with Stiles and his panic attack. He hates seeing his son like this, and when he can't get Stiles back into a normal breathing rhythm, off to the hospital they go to get Melissa's help with a nebulizer and something to help Stiles relax and sleep in an open room without needing to go through the ER]

Melissa: [which she will help them do and call Scott so that he can have someone to help relax him]

Scott: [and he will arrive, staying with Stiles while Sheriff goes to get some coffee]

Melissa: [and she'll go back to work and let the boys have some time]

Sheriff: [and he will put in a call to the school the next morning that the boys are not coming in for medical reasons and to please e-mail him their assignments]

Cora: [and will possibly discuss leaving sooner with her sister because she's not handling him being hurt and not being able to help him well]

Derek: [and he is not okay with any of this, for the record]

Laura: [yeah, none of them are really okay with this, but she needs to speak with Satomi about taking care of the land since she split it with their mother a long time ago. and she needs to talk to Henry Tate.]

Stiles: [and by then he will be home recovering]

Scott: [will steal his phone and call Cora]

Cora: [looks at the number and hesitates before answering it] Hello?

Scott: Hi Cora, it's Scott. I'm sure you heard at school that we weren't in today, but I wanted to let you know he's fine. He just had a bad panic attack and needed a nebulizer treatment.

Cora: [swallows hard] Yeah, I know. Or I assumed. He was getting upset when I left.

Scott: Yeah, he told me when he woke up at four a.m. [rubs his head] Can I say something and promise not to get mad at me?

Cora: Yeah. [though she's kind of dreading it]

Scott: I think you guys are going about this the wrong way. I mean, you have a few months, right? And you both love each other. Right?

Cora: Scott, it's not my call. It's what he wants.

Scott: No, it's not. Because I know my best friend. And after his mom died... all he wanted was one more day with her. He didn't know he wanted it until she was gone, and he won't with you either. But you have like, 90 more one more days. You're both going to regret this.

Cora: So what do you want me to do? Force him to be with me because that's not what he wants? [sighs as she closes her eyes] You're trying to convince the wrong person.

Scott: And you're the one who should be here, not me. He needs you. He loves you. And he's doing what he things is right, and not at all what he wants.

Cora: Whether he loves me or not, Scott, I'm still leaving.

Scott: But are you leaving tomorrow, or can you give him one more day?

Cora: [and there's a long silence while she fights with herself and every instinct she has and how she knows this is only going to hurt her more later, but she can't just leave him there. It took more willpower than she had to leave him in that house knowing the state he was in and she doesn't have enough to keep herself away] I'll be right there.

Scott: Thank you. [and he is going to go and slide Stiles' phone back, checking on his sleeping friend, before heading downstairs to get a drink]

Cora: [and she'll come over and have Scott let her in, and she'll go upstairs to sit on the edge of his bed until Stiles wakes up]

Scott: [and he will stay downstairs, just in case since he promised to stay until the Sheriff got off his overnight shift]

Stiles: [and eventually he will stir, coughing a bit because of a dry throat]

Cora: [and she'll hesitate, before reaching a hand up to brush against his temple] Want me to get you some water?

Stiles: [and he wasn't expecting her, but he's exhausted and he will just nod] Please.

Cora: [and she'll reach for the glass Scott left by his bed and gets ready to hand it to him. There's a lid and a straw] Here.

Stiles: [and he will sip it, and then shift a bit to look up at her] You came back.

Cora: Scott called and said I should.

Stiles: [sighing laugh] Figures. What did he tell you?

Cora: He doesn't think we're doing the right thing.

Stiles: Oh? And what does he think we should be doing?

Cora: Making the most of what we have left.

Stiles: [and his eyes soften] He's always been the romantic.

Cora: I believe it.

Scott: [and he is in the doorway] And you both know I'm right.

Stiles: Dude.

Scott: No, this put you in the hospital. I'm stepping in. You're going to regret this bro. You wanted one more day with your mom, and you can't have it. But Cora is here, right now. Don't throw away the days you still have and regret it later.

Cora: [is just going to let him talk to Scott and not comment one way or another, because she doesn't think she gets a say in this - she's the one who's leaving]

Stiles: [and he's going to look down at his hands] It's going to hurt.

Scott: Dude, you're already hurting. Whether it hurts now, or it hurts in June... it's going to hurt. And knowing you, you two are going to fight at least three more times before Cora actually leaves. But just... don't throw away your relationship, not when you can still have some good times together. Things to remember when it ends.

Cora: [which is what she wants, but again, it's not her call]

Stiles: [and he is going to look up at her] Cora?

Cora: [she looks over at him] It's not my call. It's yours. I'll do whatever you want.

Stiles: But do you want to... even after all of this. [of his drama?]

Cora: [she watches him for a moment, before leaning in to kiss him softly] If it's what you want.

Stiles: [and he is going to kiss her back, his hand going to cup her cheek]

Scott: [nods] I'm going to go downstairs and watch TV. Loudly. [aaaaand he is going to just close the door behind him, fistpumping the air as he walks down the hall because he's awesome]

Cora: [yes, Scott, you win, just let them make out because she's missed this so much over the last few days and will just lean in to kiss him deeply]

Stiles: [and he will shift over to give her room to join him in bed so they can make out slowly since he's still recovering]

Cora: [yes, very slowly. but she'll happily curl up in bed with him and kiss him]

Stiles: [and he is happy to have her there, keeping her close]

Cora: [and after a while she'll pull back and play with his shirt] I love you.

Stiles: I love you too. I'm so sorry...

Cora: It's okay. I put you in an awful situation.

Stiles: And I seriously suck at awful situations. I mean, just like... bad. Very bad.

Cora: I'm noticing.

Stiles: Maybe I should just not be allowed to decide things between us for the rest of the time we've got. Would that work?

Cora: [squints] There are some things you should probably decide for yourself.

Stiles: Okay, most things.

Cora: I'll try. But you should still have some input.

Stiles: Okay. Well my input says less talking, more kissing.

Cora: I can definitely do that.

Stiles: [and he will smile for the first time in days and kiss her]