puppy love } { of sibling trust and letting go

[impetere]

Derek: [and as the kids go off to play] So, I think it's safe to say I'm home for a while.

Cora: I will not lie and say I'm not incredibly pleased by that.

Derek: I figured you would be happy. Come on, you hungry? I can make us lunch.

Cora: Always. Lead the way.

Derek: [and he is going to make them some chicken gyros quickly] So what have i missed?

Cora: [deep breath] So I probably owe you an explanation about that phone call a while back.

Derek: Yeah but only if you want to.

Cora: No, I do. I couldn't then and I couldn't do it over the phone, but I can tell you now.

Derek: Okay. [sets the plate between them off a few gyros and goes to sit across from her] Tell me.

Cora: [deep breath as she settles] So I got this phone call from Stiles, and he was basically talking in code, but something was wrong, and he wanted me to go see Allison about getting something from his boss. Turns out he's working for Hayley Marshall, and what he needed was me to bring him her blood so he could heal. Hayley wasn't going to let me go alone since neither of us knew what I was walking into, so we got on a plane and we went to Paris. Turns out Stiles has been working for the CIA all this time as an assassin, and he had gotten his cover blown and was shot and needed me to come out and fix him up so he could get back to work.


Derek: [the party about working with Hayley isn't add big of a surprise to him since they had helped him with Baal. But still] Stiles is a government black op?

Cora: [she nods] Or he was. He says he got himself fired and is only strictly working with whatever Hayley is doing, but at the time, yeah.

Derek: I guess getting shot knocked some sense into him.

Cora: I don't think it was that. He was pretty adamant before I left that he was fine and whatever he was doing was okay. But I didn't see him for two weeks before he told me he got fired.


Derek: Did he tell you what happened in those two weeks?

Cora: That he took care of whatever it was that got him into trouble in the first place, and that Ben was safe. [so no, not exactly, but she could read between the lines]

Derek: Well, I guess you just have to decide how much you trust him in that.

Cora: I'm still trying to figure that out. But he still can't see Ben without someone with a healing factor present, so I guess that says how far we've gotten there. But then again, I'm not alone with him either.

Derek: [nods] You know he was a part of the team to get Baal out, right?

Cora: [frowns and shakes her head] He said he wasn't allowed to leave the country.

Derek: He's apparently their paperwork and research guy. He did all the paperwork to make Baal a citizen and my adopted son. He even had Baal do a little citizenship ceremony and repeat the pledge so that Baal would be able to recall it all. He said if anyone questioned him later in life he could say that he spoke the pledge in front of a government official who then said he was a citizen and that it would stand up to any lie detector test since it was the truth.

Cora: Oh. Good, then.

Derek: Do you trust yourself with him though? I mean, black op or analyst, it's still Stiles.

Cora: I'm still figuring that out. And I think in a lot of ways he's still figuring that out, so I'm trying not to pile my issues on him.

Derek: I don't think we ever can figure ourselves out. Its a lifelong process.

Cora: I know. But this problem impacts not just him, it affects the sheriff too, so I need to figure it out now.

Derek: Well, what do you need to figure it out?

Cora: If it really is still Stiles.

Derek: It is. He may be a bit beat up emotionally and, like us now where he doesn't express his feelings, but he's still him. You see it when he's with Ben.

Cora: It's the only reason why I haven't told him he can't see him. But Derek - doing that kind of work? There's no way that it doesn't take a part of you.

Derek: I have a feeling that the part of him was gone that made him do it.

Cora: I guess we'll have to see.

Derek: You know you aren't the same person either though, right? None of us are.

Cora: I know I'm not. But I'd like to think that ... at my core, I haven't changed much. I never thought that Stiles was capable of that kind of work, in cold blood.

Derek: I think everyone is, to be honest. I know I am.

Cora: [she eyes her brother because she doesn't think that's the case, but she shakes her off] I'm figuring it out, okay? I just ... need time to sit with it.

Derek: Sure. Just don't take too long, or you won't find out.

Cora: I know. [she takes a bite of her food before look him at him and quickly changing the subject] Oh. Parrish and Laura are back together, by the way.

Derek: [blinks] That was fast.

Cora: Yeah. I was pretty sure that they had hooked up when he was here for Thanksgiving, but apparently she told Ben that Parrish was her boyfriend when Parrish was sleeping at the house.

Derek: Huh. [and he is going to wipe his hands on his pants and go to the fridge, reaching on top of it before pulling down the cookies that were their favorite] Well, good for them. [nope, not bitter]

Cora: [yep, totally a little bitter] Yeah. Don't get me wrong, I want them to be happy. But ... [yeah. Yeah.] Do you ever just hate that everything always just seems incredibly easy for her? After all the screwing she did with our lives seven years ago?

Derek: Life of an alpha. Things always seemed easy for mom too, but Peter was always bitching.

Cora: [shakes her head as she reaches for a cookie] It's not fair.

Derek: No, it's not.

Cora: Stiles and his dad pretty much hate her. Which I guess is better than them hating me, but ... I honestly don't blame them.

Derek: Well, she is the reason you were never able to tell them. [licks his lips] You think if you hadn't met Stiles in that bar... do you think you'd have ever told him?

Cora: [she nods] I would have. Eventually I would have probably gotten pissed enough to do it out of spite. But I'm glad that I didn't get that far.

Derek: Me too. Though I probably would have figured out a way to do it for you. Since I'm the black sheep in the family.

Cora: [she tips her head to the side] You're not that much of a black sheep.

Derek: You're biased. You're also a lot more like Laura than you think.

Cora: If roles were reversed, I would have let her tell Parrish.

Derek: But when?

Cora: When she knew. I shouldn't have had to wait.

Derek: Even if your choice put Parrish and the baby in danger?

Cora: There was no sign that it would! By the time I knew about Ben, Deucalion was already dead.

Derek: Yeah. Or any of the years after that until you stopped asking. But we didn't know Deucalion was dead. We didn't know anything.

Cora: [doesn't entirely believe that Laura didn't know] I just ... I think about what I could have had and what I could have saved Stiles from and ... I can't get that back. [and she desperately wants that back]

Derek: Hey. [reaches across to put his hands on hers] Cora... I know. Trust me, I know and I had the same argument every day. But you can't let yourself go down that rabbit hole and think you could have save Stiles from this. He made his own choices.

Cora: He did it because he thought he had nothing left.

Derek: He still made the choice. And if what I hear about Beacon Hills is true...by the time Deucalion died... he was already on the path to being a killer, if he wasn't one.

Cora: [she shakes her head] Everything about this sucks.

Derek: Maybe you should tell Stiles you don't want to be just friends with him?

Cora: I already have, sort of. But he doesn't know what he wants, so it's all a moot point until he figures that out.

Derek: [nods, squeezing her hand] He'll get there. You've waited this long... he'll find his way back to himself, and to you. And maybe... maybe this journey will have some good to it.

Cora: [she shrugs] I'm learning not to get my hopes up.

Derek: And that, my dear twin sister, is why both of us are way too serious for our own goods. [he will take another cookie]

Cora: [she rolls her eyes]

Derek: Probably also why we have a hard time reuniting with our teenage loves. [nibbles on the cookie]

Cora: [her eyebrows go up and she's almost scared to ask] You and Allison?

Derek: Yeah. [sighs and reaches for another cookie]

Cora: Did you ...?

Derek: No. She won't, even if I would like to try.

Cora: [there's a part of her that's relieved at that, even if she tries not to show it] Sorry.

Derek: [he knows she's happy, but he just shrugs because he's not going to go there]

Cora: [sighs] Look, I still think this is for the best, even though I know you don't agree with me.

Derek: [he licks his lips, and looks at her] Cora, you know I love you. But when you say that... you're doing to me what Laura did to you when it came to telling Stiles. You think you're helping, and you're willing to be the bad guy in it because you love me and you want to protect me. And I don't push it because I love you, and I promised I would put you first. But these moments, what you really mean is that it's the best for you. [and he is going to push away to take the dirty plates and but then in the sink]

Cora: [and she looks up at the ceiling at that, before shaking her head] And can you really blame me for not wanting to be the brunt of all of that again?

Derek: No, but can you believe that maybe I've grown up and matured as well? That I'm not a hormonal teenager and know that what I want isn't the most important thing in the room anymore.

Cora: I want to. I do. But you were still a hormonal teenager before you met her and you never treated me like that.

Derek: [sighs, and goes to turn the water on] Maybe you should check on the kids for a bit. I don't want to discuss this anymore.

Cora: Fine. [and she takes a deep breath and goes to find the boys]

Ben: [and he is teaching Baal how to play with toy cars]

Cora: [and she'll just sit down to watch them and probably stew a bit, she doesn't want to disturb them]

Baal: [and he will sniff the air because that's a weird scent, and then he will look at Cora confused]

Cora: [crap. she forgot about the baby wolf. she looks over at him and shakes her head] I'm okay.

Baal: Why do you smell weird, mama Cora?

Ben: [looks over at his mother] Momma?

Cora: [gives them a small smile] Because I'm frustrated. You're picking up on my chemosignals.

Ben: Why are you frustrated?

Baal: I do not think I know that word?

Cora: Just some family stuff. No big deal. [she pauses] Frustration is when you're not quite angry about something, but you're not quite happy about it either.

Ben: Do you want to play with us? It can make you happy!

Cora: No, it's okay. I'm not going to be much fun right now. But you guys have fun, okay?

Ben: [he watches her a moment, and then goes to her and hugs her] Don't be frustrated, momma. Uncle Derek loves you. [because if it's family, it's either Derek or Laura]

Cora: [she closes her eyes and leans into the hug, pulling him in tightly] I know he does, sweetie. I'm trying not to be.

Ben: We can go home if it is time to go home.

Cora: [she shakes her head] Nope. You and Baal are still good to play for a little while. I'll be okay.

Ben: Okay. [he will go back to play but he isn't as excited because now he's worried about his mother. Somewhere along the way, Ben had started being the one who was the comfort voice to his mother]

Cora: [yeah, and part of her kind of hates that. he shouldn't have to worry about her being okay. he's six]

Ben: [yup, but that's what she got. He's a sensitive kid]

Cora: [and now she feels bad that she ruined his afternoon] I'm going to go get some fresh air, okay, boys? If Derek asks, I'm just on the fire escape.

Baal: The fire escape is supposed to be for escaping fires. Is there a fire?

Ben: Nah, Momma sits on them all the time. She likes fresh air.

Baal: Oh, I understand now.

Cora: I won't be far. Just yell if you need me. [and she'll head to the window to slip out so that she can just breathe for a little bit]

Derek: [and eventually the kids will want snacks and go to the kitchen where Derek is just looking out the window. They tell him where Cora is, and he will eventually go to find her] You don't have to hide from me. I'm sorry.

Cora: [she glances up at him before shaking her head and inching over to give him some room to sit next to her] I'm not hiding. Well - not from you.

Derek: [and he goes out to sit with her] Allison is just a very complicated subject for me.

Cora: I know. I get it, I do.

Derek: I don't think you do. Not completely. Because for me - it becomes a tug of war that no matter what I want, it hurts someone. There's no way I can win being with her, and no way I can continuing to be without her.

Cora: How do you know that?

Derek: Because to be with her means you will always be upset, worried that I will turn on you again even though I know I won't. To not be with her leaves me unable to be with the person I truly feel is my mate. I know I can survive it - if Mom did, I can. But just like how we are both hate how easy Parrish came back to her... I know you and Stiles will eventually find your way back to each other in some way... and I know I'll come to resent you too for that.

Cora: [she's quiet for a long time, because she's not sure there's anything she can say to that that won't make her sound like a hypocrite. She doesn't want to feel this way about Allison, and she doesn't want her brother to be unhappy the way she knows her mom was, but the feelings are there all the same and she doesn't know how to make them go away] I just wish it wasn't her.

Derek: Well, when we were teenagers, I wasn't all that fond of you being with Stiles.

Cora: [and she narrows her eyes at him because what's wrong with Stiles?]

Derek: I didn't think he was good enough for you. He was such a strong personality, I thought he was going to take advantage of you.

Cora: Well, he didn't.

Derek: I know. I was wrong about him then. And when I saw how happy he made you - that was more important to me than my fears.

Cora: Yeah, but this is a misplaced analogy because the person I'm worried about isn't Allison. It's you. And if it was just me, maybe I could set that aside and take it on the chin, but Ben is hyperaware of when I'm upset as it is, and he hates it. I can't be okay with walking into a situation where for a while I'm likely going to be worried about waiting for the other shoe to drop and wondering when my brother is going to turn on me because something went wrong with his girlfriend. Again.

Derek: Which in the end, to me, pretty much reads that you don't trust me as much as you think you do. And that's the problem. Not Allison.

Cora: Maybe it is. And I never said that Allison was the problem but since she's the only girl you've really dated that I've experienced this with, it's not like I have a great frame of reference. Because you weren't like this before her and you didn't really date after her.

Derek: Then how can we fix this between us?

Cora: [she shrugs] I don't know.

Derek: [sighs] And if I can't be with her to prove it to you... I don't know what else I can do here, Cora.

Cora: What does it matter if she doesn't want to be with you anyway?

Derek: Did it matter to you with Stiles? Did it stop you from hoping?

Cora: I still tried to move on, Derek. Even if it didn't work right away, I dated, and I was with someone? Just because I may want something doesn't mean it's going to be the reality, and I'm not Mom or you apparently. I can't live with just being sad forever, and there's no way that I'm going push past him if I don't put myself out there and try. Eventually it has to work.

Derek: Why do you think i went to Italy, Cora? I tried. I tried here, and i tried there and it never feels right. I don't want to be alone either, but it's not fair to someone else to let them become attached to me when i can't give that back to them.

Cora: [he's not wrong there, and she knows that, but at the same time, it's this knee-jerk reaction that she doesn't want to go back to. she doesn't want them to fall back into that place they were in in high school where Derek did what he wanted, and maybe he was happy, but Cora felt like she didn't actually matter. And she put up with it then, because she knew there was nothing she could do, but after seven years of having her brother back, she doesn't want to lose him again. and anytime Allison comes up, that's all she can think of]

Derek: [and her silence d makes him sigh] Can you watch the kids for a while? I should probably go get food if you're staying for dinner.

Cora: [she shakes her head] No, we actually should probably go. [and she shakes her head a bit as she gets up, deciding to get ahead of the inevitable and quietly as she goes to move back to the window] Just do what you want, Derek. You're probably going to anyway. [and with that she'll had back inside to go find the boys]

Derek: [that stings and he will stay on the fire escape a moment, and then follow to say goodbye to Ben]

Cora: [she takes a deep breath and tries to furrow out her emotions before she gets there] Hey, Benny. Time to go.

Ben: Already?

Cora: Yeah, kiddo. But you can come back and play with Baal next weekend, okay?

Ben: Okay.

Baal: Can you teach me how to play superheroes then? I was told to ask

Ben: Yeah, totally!

Cora: [smiles a bit] Maybe Baal can come over our house and you can show him your comic books.

Ben: Yes! And if dad is there, he can totally play with us too! He's an amazing Batman.

Cora: That sounds perfect. Go say goodbye to your uncle, Ben.

Ben: [which he does]

Baal: it was nice to see you again Mama Cora

Cora: It was nice to see you too, sweetheart. [and she'll crouch down to give him a hug] I'll see you next weekend, okay?

Baal: [he will hug her back, gently, still learning his strength] Okay.

Cora: [and she will give him a bit of a squeeze] You can always hug me as tight as you want. I can take it.

Baal: i am supposed to practice gentle though.

Cora: Okay. I get it. [she pulls back, rubbing his sides with a small smile] But once you get the hang of it, as tight as you want, okay?

Baal: Yes, mama Cora.

Cora: I'll see you next weekend, okay?

Baal: [nods his head] Yes. Next weekend.

Cora: [and she'll get up to go find her son]

Ben: [who is hugging the heck out of his Uncle Derek]

Cora: [and she will let them do that, because Ben probably needs it]

Derek: [and after a bit, he will let go] Alright, kiddo. Time to take your mom home. I think she needs a nap. You take care of her, ok?

Ben: I will.

Cora: [small smile at that, before reaching for his hand] I'll call you later about next weekend.

Derek: [nods] Alright. [squeezes her hand] Love you.

Cora: Love you too. [and off she will take her son to go home. and once they're on their way] What do you want for dinner, kiddo? You pick.

Ben: [licks his lips, thinking] Pasghetti.

Cora: Okay. I think I have everything for that at home.

Ben: Meatballs too?

Cora: Meatballs too. We'll check and make sure when we get home - if not, we can go to the store.

Ben: Okay! But first you need a nap. Uncle Derek said you needed one.

Cora: [she laughs] What if we just snuggle on the couch instead?

Ben: ..... That can work. I won't tell if you don't.

Cora: My lips are sealed.

Ben: [and off they go to snuggle and then dinner and /scene?]