peter & cora } { of big decisions and big questions

[impetere]

Cora: [and after they get back from engagement weekend and they find a day when Peter will be home and Stiles and Melissa are at work, she will make her way over and just kind of ... collapse and curl up into the couch and give in to the sulk that she's been fighting for a bit]

Peter: [and he will bring in some coffee and sit across from her] So what's wrong?

Cora: Stiles and I got engaged.

Peter: ... and this is a bad thing?

Cora: No, but it's ... [ deep breath] He wants me to turn him so that we can mate.

Peter: Oh. [yeah, where is his alcohol to add to this coffee]

Cora: [look SHE IS NOT THRILLED ABOUT THIS EITHER but she doesn't know who else to talk to, and she's not going to delve into the actual mechanics of it too much] I'm just ... worried about turning him, and worried that he's only doing this because of me, and ... I don't want him to die. Or resent me for this later.

Peter: Well, short of him wearing shoulder armor in the bedroom for your entire marriage, you turning him is not something easily avoidable.

Cora: I know. And he was the one who brought it up, not me, so you would think that would be a comfort but ... I just can't help but wonder if he really realizes what kind of choice he's making.

Peter: Have you talked to Scott? I mean, if Stiles brought it up, he has to have been thinking of it for awhile in preparation for asking you to marry him, and Scott would be the person he would go to for advice on the process.

Cora: [she shakes her head] Not yet. I don't really know how to talk about it.

Peter: So what is it you want to do then?

Cora: ... I don't know. [sighs as she buries her face in her hands] I know that I don't really have another choice. It's either do this intentionally now, or do it accidentally later. I just ... have this knot in my stomach that things are going to change in a way that ... means I lose him, somehow.

Peter: Why? You've got four Betas. Did your relationship with any of them change as you fear it will with Stiles?

Cora: It was different with them. They were my friends, not my partner, so when things changed it wasn't a huge one. But there was a change. [she had to make decisions for them, protect them - she was responsible for them in a way she hasn't had to be with Stiles] When I give him the bite, things will change in a similar way and ... I don't know if it'll be for the better. [Stiles is very independent, he makes a lot of his own decisions, but they've had friction when she's had to assert her position as alpha before. What if he doesn't like it? What if it causes more friction?]

Peter: It's a risk. But marriage is in itself full of risks like that. [sighs] What kind of problems have you had before?

Cora: Times when I've had to put the pack first instead of him.

Peter: Well, he will be a part of the pack so those problems may not exist.

Cora: Or they could get worse. [she's worried about not being able to lean on him. about him seeing her differently because she is his alpha and there's natural distance there. Part of her is a little hurt that he said he would stay human so that she wouldn't have that isolation and then went back on it, even if she knows she doesn't truly care if he's a wolf or not, so long as he's here. She's just a pile of emotions she doesn't know how to process]

Peter: Do you think maybe he's scared?

Cora: Probably.

Peter: Having you do it in a planned way is probably a safer and less scary process than it happening by accident.

Cora: I know. I wouldn't want to do it differently.

Peter: Have you told him your concerns?

Cora: No, because I don't know how to say them in a way that makes sense.

Peter: Usually honestly with facts work best with him.

Cora: My feelings don't have facts. They just have a lot of contradictions.

Peter: You know how you feel. You know how he's reacted in the past. How your other betas have reacted.

Cora: And I also know that I want that bond with him, absent of everything else and I don't have another option that allows us to do that. [she sits up a bit and rubs at her eyes] I just hate being an alpha sometimes.

Peter: [leans in, reaching over to gently rub her arm] I know, sweetie.

Cora: [she takes a deep breath and sighs] I know what I have to do. I know it's going to end in the same place. I just ... hate that I feel this way. This weekend was a lot of highs and lows.

Peter: You can tell him no, you know. That you don't want to do it.

Cora: And then what? I hope I don't fuck up for the rest of my life?

Peter: I can research. See if maybe there's lore on how to prevent a change, or even how he can change back to human before he goes through his first turning.

Cora: Do you honestly think there's anything?

Peter: Won't know until I look. I can also see if perhaps there's a magical side. Deaton may have some ideas.

Cora: [she swallows and nods] If it's what he really wants, I'll do it. But it might be easier to figure that out if there are options.

Peter: Give me a week.

Cora: Okay. We weren't going to try and do this until after the March full moon, so we have time.

Peter: Good. So for right now, just enjoy the fact you're engaged. You should be happy.

Cora: I will try.

Peter: [and he will smile and shift to sit next to her, kissing the top of her head] Congratulations.

Cora: [smiles a bit in return as she leans into him] Thanks.

Peter: So I guess I should start a wedding budget for you?

Cora: Probably. Though I have no idea what it's going to be like to give you a number for it.

Peter: Well, you're my only daughter. Pretty sure I will give you whatever you want.

Cora: Well, I don't need much.

Peter: I know, but the tiny details always matter.

Cora: I'm sure they do.

Peter: Plus I'm sure Melissa will want to help you with picking things out.

Cora: Erica and Kira too.

Peter: Yeah, but you're Melissa’s chance to plan her daughter's wedding. You know Scott and Kira will probably involve Kira's mother a lot more.

Cora: That's true. [and then she's missing Talia too, so there's more uncomfortable emotions she doesn't know what to do with.]

Peter: [and he will feel that and pull her closer] She would be proud of you.

Cora: [sighs as she leans in to him] I know.

Peter: And Derek will be very happy. He may even smile on his own accord.

Cora: [she laughs] I don't know, he's been doing that a lot lately.

Peter: True. But He will be happy.

Cora: Yeah. We all will. And I know this will work out, it's just feeling ... really tense right now.

Peter: I know, and I think a post-engagement weekend talk with Stiles will help a lot. See what made him change his mind. See if Scott can offer you any insight. You can figure it out.

Cora: [she nods] Okay. I'll talk to them when I get home.

Peter: And I'll talk with Deaton.

Cora: Thank you.

Peter: But first, I would love to take my daughter out to lunch to celebrate her engagement.

Cora: [smiles a bit at that] That I think we can do.

Peter: Good. Let me go grab my wallet.

Cora: [she nods, and off they will go to have a lovely lunch, and once that's done, she will go home and collapse into the couch as he tries to figure out who to talk to first]

Scott: [and he has the luck of being the one home first.]

Cora: [then he wins] Hey. Can I bug you for a sec?

Scott: Yeah, sure. [and he will hang up his jacket and head over to the couch] What's up?

Cora: [shifts a bit] So have you and Stiles talked recently?

Scott: You mean after the whole helping him plan your vacation stuff?

Cora: Yeah.

Scott: Just that he was successful in asking you to marry him. Which is totally awesome.

Cora: [smiles softly before nodding] Yes it is. But ... has he ever talked to you about being turned?

Scott: [rubs at the back of his neck] He asked me a lot of questions about everything that I did with you and Peter when I was learning.

Cora: [sighs as she leans in to the couch] As of right now, I can't give him the mate bond unless I turn him and he wants me to have that so he wants me to turn him.

Scott: Yeah, we had all already figured that out. We've been figuring that he would be doing it.

Cora: [she nods slowly] Do you think he's really ... set on this?

Scott: [and he will sit next to her] I think he has a lot of reasons to do this, and a lot of reasons not to. But his biggest fear is that you'd do it by accident and then you'd feel guilty for the rest of your life that you forced it on him.

Cora: I get that. I don't want that to happen either. But ... I hadn't even talked to Peter really about other options, and he's already made a decision. So ... if this is something he really wants, then I can deal. But if he's just doing this because of me ...

Scott: I don't think it's because of you, Cora. I think it's for you, and I think there's something else on his mind too.

Cora: [sighs] Well, I wish he would tell me what that is. Because right now it feels like it's for me, and ... it's too big a change to make just for me. [and then there was the baby stuff, and it all suddenly seemed like because they got engaged he just went from zero to mach 4 on where their relationship was in a few hours]

Scott: You could always ask the Sheriff? Maybe he knows?

Cora: I don't want to go sneaking around behind his back about it.

Scott: Why not? He does it to all of us.

Cora: Because it's bad enough I'm going to be feeling everything he feels for the rest of his life and he won't be able to lie to me about it. I don't want to start things off coming in with information I didn't get from him. [basically: she's not going to stoop to her fiancé’s level]

Scott: ... Do you want me to do it then?

Cora: No. [she'll get the information from Stiles or she won't get it, but she's just ... really frustrated] This weekend was really weird.

Scott: Is this going to be way too much information?

Cora: Probably.

Scott: Can I just skip this part of the conversation?

Cora: I wasn't going to say it. [like ... at all] Just ... I couldn't seem to find my footing. He kept knocking it out from under me.

Scott: He has a habit of doing that. He's been planning this for awhile.

Cora: Yeah, well ... he was planning a bit too far ahead of me.

Scott: I only helped him plan up to the engagement.

Cora: Well, he decided to throw in becoming a werewolf and kids too.

Scott: [coughs] Kids?

Cora: Yeah. It wasn't directly? But it was definitely potentially on the table and I was just wrapping my head around being engaged. It feel like he's twenty steps ahead and I'm just trying to catch up.

Scott: Well, I can't help you there. You're going to want to talk to him.

Cora: No, I will. I was just hoping you might be able to give me a better idea of where his head's at.

Scott: The only thing that I've noticed lately is that he's been seeing mom at the hospital more than normal. She told me he brought her lunch the other day.

Cora: [she nods, and swallows, before running a hand through her hair] Hopefully he'll talk to me.

Scott: I'm sure he will. He was probably just caught up in the whole future with you and looking forward to it.

Cora: Don't get me wrong, I am too. And I want kids with him one day. But it was ... way too much too fast.

Scott: Then tell him.

Cora: I will.

Stiles: [and those are his keys at the door]

Cora: [sighs and looks over at Scott with a small smile] Thanks for talking it out with me.

Scott: No problem. I'm going to go hide in my room now until my date with Kira. See you. [and he's getting the hell out of the living room before he gets caught up in this]

Stiles: [and he will come in, a bit distracted in his head as he enters and locks the door behind him.]

Cora: [sees that and straightens a bit] Hey.

Stiles: [and his head will snap up and out of where it was and he will grin] Hey, didn't see you there.

Cora: [and that smile makes her smile] Have a good day?

Stiles: Yeah, yeah it was good. Didn't have a lot of work so we were on the ground most of the time.

Cora: [she nods, and pushes up] Are you hungry? Can I get you something? [no, she's totally not nervous why would you say that]

Stiles: Um... no, not right now. I was thinking I might grab a shower. Unless you had plans for us? Do you have plans for us?

Cora: [a beat, because yes, but would it be better to wait before or after he showered] I was wondering if we could talk. Upstairs. [where there's less of a risk of them being randomly walked in on]

Stiles: Sure. Yeah, we can do that.

Cora: Okay. [and she will take his hand and they will head upstairs to her room where she will kneel on the bed for a moment as she tries to get her words together] Before we get started, I love you, I still want to marry you. That's not going to change, that isn't what this talk is about.

Stiles: Okay, that's not ominous at all.

Cora: This weekend was ... a lot at once and kind of weird for me. Some of it was really good. But there were other parts where I felt like ... you were more than a few miles ahead of me and I was trying to catch up.

Stiles: Which parts are that?

Cora: You asking me to turn you, and you already being ready for kids.

Stiles: Oh. Well, I mean, the kids I did point out that no one's ever really ready for having kids.

Cora: Yeah, and I do want to have kids with you, but that plus the engagement, plus talk about turning you it just seemed like there were a lot of really big decisions happening in a really short period of time.

Stiles: [and he will lick his lips and nod] Yeah, I can see how that would feel that way.

Cora: They aren't bad decisions, they're just ... things I want to talk through more before they happen.

Stiles: Okay. Yeah, we can do that. I mean, I'm not looking to definitely have kids today. You just were asking about fantasies I had and that was one of them.

Cora: [she nods] Its one of mine too. It's definitely something I want, but I think we should wait a little bit for.

Stiles: Then we'll wait a bit. And I mean, if we want to have sex without a condom, but don't want to have kids, there's other kinds of birth control we can try.

Cora: Like?

Stiles: There's a thing called a diaphragm. You get fitted for it and you put it in like, before we have a date or something with spermicide on it, and you can have it sit in there for like, hours before you pull it out and clean it. It keeps the stuff from entering your cervix.

Cora: I'll look into it.

Stiles: And they pretty much have the same rate of prevention as long as they are used right.

Cora: [she nods, but they're getting a little side tracked, so she tries to head away from birth control and back to the other stuff] I think the more immediate concern though is you wanting me to turn you.

Stiles: Oh.

Cora: [she pushes up a bit and takes a deep breath] The last time we talked about this, you said you wanted to stay human. And then this weekend things were obviously different so ... I guess I'd like to know what changed? Because if this is something you decided you really wanted, that's fine. But if you feel like this is something you have to do for me ... I talked to Peter, and he said he'd look into our options, so you may not have to.

Stiles: [he will take a deep breath, then get up and go to his duffle bag] It's not just about you. I mean, yeah, it's about you as in you and me. I know you talk about how strong the urge is and I don't want you to accidently slip one day and do it and then feel guilty about forcing it on me. If it is going to happen, I don't want it to be like that. I don't want you spending the rest of our lives feeling guilty about me being a wolf.

Cora: Which I totally get. but if that's all there is, I'd rather explore all our options before we jump into something you might regret later.

Stiles: Hey, I'm down for exploring all the options. Trust me, options are a good thing. [he pulls an envelope from the bag and goes to sit back over at her side] I like options.

Cora: Okay. Because if there's a safer option, I think I'd rather take that one.

Stiles: [nods] Well, there's something else we are going to want to think about. [he turns to face her] So, you remember about a month ago when I had that appointment to follow up on my jet injuries? Just, you know, making sure that there's no long term damage connected to how sometimes I feel sore in bad weather and stuff?

Cora: [she nods] Yeah, I remember.

Stiles: Well, while we were doing the tests, my general decided to toss in the CT scan I normally get every five years. You know, because of mom.

Cora: [she nods again, and now she has a bad feeling]

Stiles: [he reaches in and pulls out two pictures from the folder] It's nothing bad. But it's something. This one was the one taken when I had the accident. [he hands her the first image of the brain scan, and there is one region circles in a red sharpie, and he explains to her how to read it]

Cora: [and she nods, just waiting for him to continue]

Stiles: This is the one from two weeks ago. [he shows her the same circled area. It looks almost identical, but there is a small sliver of black along his skull that isn't in the first one]

Cora: [which she notices] What's that?

Stiles: It's an area of concern right now. It might be nothing. I had a headache that day so it could have been that, or I could have moved.

Cora: But if it is something?

Stiles: We won't know until I have another scan. I'm doing that next week. If it is something, then we need to monitor it. If it stays small, it's fine. But if it grows...

Cora: If it grows, we can do something about it.

Stiles: Yeah. I mean, there's nothing medicine can do to sure it. But I figured that even if it is nothing, it doesn't mean that one day there may not be something. And I remember how my dad was when my mom started to get bad. I don't want to do that to you.

Cora: And I don't want that to happen to you. [her free hand comes up and brushes against the side of his face gently] If its what I need to do, I'll do it. I don't want to lose you that soon either.

Stiles: [and he will lean into her hand] I was going to tell you, just so you know. After the next scan and I knew for real what it was. I didn't want you to worry if it was nothing.

Cora: I know. I get I'm kind of forcing your hand here. [there's a pause as she brushes her thumb against his cheek] Want me to go with you?

Stiles: Yeah. Melissa's been doing it with me because I don't want Dad to know either until I know for sure. I can't put him through this.

Cora: [nods] Just let me know when the appointment is and I'll be there.

Stiles: I'll text it to you later. That way you can try to schedule the day off.

Cora: [nods again] If not ... it's not like paramedics aren't supposed to be in a hospital.

Stiles: True. [and he will go and tuck the pictures away] But this is the big reason why I switched my vote. I don't want to go through that. It's been a fear I've had since I lost her. I know that even if this time it's nothing, that doesn't mean five years from now it won't be something. And how much of this could actually heal if it's my brain and actually atophied away? I don't want it to be too late, or not be able to make that choice. I know it could never happen, but it's always a risk for me. Just like it'd be a risk for any of my kids. I don't want to give my kids this kind of fear.

Cora: You could have just told me this. [it makes a difference. it doesn't make her feel like she's being selfish in turning him just for her]

Stiles: Like I said, I was going to.

Cora: No, not about the scans. About that you're worried about what happened to your mom happening to you. [she takes a deep breath] I know I have a decent sized pack, but I try not to turn people when I'm the only one getting something out of it.

Stiles: Technically, even without this, I'd be getting something very important if you turn me. [he gave her a small smile] You guys live a lot longer than I will. I don't want to miss that time. I don't want you to have to watch me grow old on you. I want to have that extra time with you. I mean, you might get tired of me after a hundred or so years, but at least we can have all that time together, and not just a handful.

Cora: A handful would have been enough.

Stiles: [laughs] Funny. I don't think a few hundred years is still enough.

Cora: [she shrugs] Better than none at all.

Stiles: Wow, the sweet, sentimental line went right over your head, didn't it? [smirks]

Cora: [she laughs] It did not. But I'm just saying ... it doesn't matter to me what the number is. I just want to spend it with you.

Stiles: Same here. [and he will lean in to kiss her]

Cora: [kisses him back with a soft hum, her thumb brushing against his cheek softly]

Stiles: [leans back after a moment] But it was a good line, right?

Cora: [she laughs] It was a very good line.

Stiles: [grins] Think it will help me get laid tonight? [he winks at her playfully]

Cora: [she laughs again, before nodding] I think you have a pretty good shot.

Stiles: Sweet. [and he will lean in to kiss her again]

Cora: [and she will kiss him back and they will probably make good on those getting laid plans]

Stiles: [and he will be a very happy man]

Cora: [good because she will be equally happy as well]

Stiles: [does she feel better about the topic now?]

Cora: [a bit yes. she'll feel the most better once Stiles is turned and he's fine and she doesn't have to worry about the bite not taking]