puppy love } { of djinn and opening the door

[impetere]

Stiles: [and he returns home, carrying a pizza and flowers since it's a night on their own.] Cora, I'm -- [and he will see her on the floor and drop the stuff on the table before rushing to her side] Cora, baby talk to me. Wake up...

Cora: [nope. no waking up here. she's too busy being trapped in happily ever after world]

Stiles: Shit. [and he's grabbing his phone, checking her vitals as he punches in the number for Hayley]

Cora: [her vitals are fine. fortunately, the djinn didn't know she was a werewolf so the poison won't kill her. but she won't snap out of it eventually. She has to want to leave, and right now? that would be a no.]

Stiles: [and he's going to report to her what happened because he's seen this victim style already and he's cursing up a storm to get them to take her to their medical facility to try and help keep her stable because he doesn't know what the poison will do.]

Derek: [but he knows something is wrong. He can just feel it in his gut, and when he can't handle it any longer he's going to try and call his sister]

Cora: [and she's not going to answer but her phone will ring and ring and ring so if someone wants to answer it ...]

Stiles: [oh no that phone is at home. He's not thinking to grab it. Whoops]

Derek: [and when he can't get Cora, he will try Allison to see if Stiles is there because he doesn't like to call Stiles directly.]

Allison: [and she answers her phone quickly] Hey, what's up?

Derek: Is Stiles there at all? I've got a bad feeling about my sister and I can't get her on the phone.

Allison: [she glances over to Stiles and a silent question on her face, mouthing "it's Derek?"]

Stiles: Crap. [and he is going to look at Cora, still holding her hand] Can we stall?

Allison: [shrugs before continuing with "he knows something's wrong"]

Derek: Allison?

Stiles: [closes his eyes] I'll tell him.

Allison: [to Derek] Hold on, here's Stiles. [and she passes the phone over]

Stiles: [and he is going to explain to Derek about their last mission and the djiins and that they are trying to find a cure for her but so far nothing is working and she needs to make her way out of this]

Derek: You need to tell Laura. Laura is her alpha and if she is in danger, she's going to know.

Allison: [if they're on speaker?] Do you think Laura would be okay with sitting this out?

Derek: Of course not! Cora and Laura may have their differences, but she's also her sister.

Stiles: We don't know if she isn't going to come out of it, Derek. And you know Cora won't want Laura called unless we knew for sure there was nothing we could do.

Allison: From what we can tell, the poison isn't killing her, but she's not fighting whatever scenario the djinn trapped her in.

Stiles: It traps her in a perfect world, Derek. She won't know to fight against it until she lets herself recognize that it's not real.

Derek: And with everything that's been going on in the last eight years...

Allison: She needs someone who would be out of place.

Derek: She'd have changed me in that world.

Allison: Then I guess we need you.

Derek: I can be at the mall in thirty minutes for you to blindfold me and take me wherever.

Allison: [glances up to Stiles because it's his call]

Stiles: [sighs, rubbing at his face] It can't hurt.

Derek: I'll be there soon.

Allison: [she nods] I'll meet you up top.

Derek: I'll be there soon. [which he will, since Baal is with Ben]

Allison: [and she'll head up to the mall to meet him so they can follow all the protocols]

Derek: [and he is going to be sitting on the bench worried because this is his twin and he just feels wrong and trying not to freak out]

Allison: [she gives him a soft smile before she reaches for his hand] Hey. It'll be okay.

Derek: I hope so. I don't know how I could handle losing her.

Allison: You won't. [and she'll give him the blindfold before leading him down, not letting him take it off until they're in the infirmary]

Derek: [and he will let her lead until he gets to Cora, and he will get on the other side of her from where Stiles is sitting] So how does she find her way back?

Allison: You have to convince her it's not real. [she sighs softly] Get her to accept that it's not real and that she can't stay, and she should wake up.

Derek: [nods, taking her hand] Cora. Cora, it's Derek. Come on, I'm right here. I know you can feel me. Wake up.

Allison: It's going to take something more than that. [she swallows] Freya's working on a spell, that will allow you to ... go to her vision.

Derek: Yeah, but a spell isn't real.

Allison: No, but if you're in there, you can talk to her more directly.

Derek: [and he is going to think a moment, looking at their hands as he thinks] How long is it going to take Freya?

Allison: She said an hour. It'll probably be half that.

Derek: I have something faster. [and he is going to lick his lips, looking at Stiles] You trust me?

Stiles: [looks between the twins, biting his lips, then nods] With her, yeah.

Derek: Good. Help me. [and he will go to gently turn Cora onto her side] I need you to hold her steady.

Allison: [frowns] What are you doing?

Derek: When I was younger, I used to watch my mom when she would help wolves with memory issues. I didn't know at the time, but I was curious because she had done it to me and Peter after Malia was born. Normally only alphas do this, but she showed me how to do it. I can access her mind, her memories, and help control them if I need to. But I have to be careful because if she or I move wrong, I could paralyze her. [or kill her]

Allison: Are you sure you don't want to wait for Freya?

Derek: Freya can get me in, but this is more intimate. This she will know its me.

Allison: [she glances to Stiles, because again. His call.]

Stiles: [and he glances back at her, but nods] You hurt her, I hurt you.

Derek: Then you make sure she stays very still. [and he is going to put his hand along her neck, his claws feeling along her spine before he braces himself on the edge of the bed, takes a deep breath, and pushes the claws in. His eyes glow, and then his head falls back as he stares at the ceiling]

Cora: [and when he opens his eyes, he's standing on the streets of Beacon Hills. Not as it is now, because Cora hasn't seen it in all that time, but the way it was when they left. He's not on a specifically familiar street, however, but is standing outside a small house that isn't particularly extravagant but just enough, where Ben is on the front lawn playing with his dog, and watching him from the porch with Stiles is Cora, curled up against his shoulder on the porch swing]

Derek: [and he takes a deep breath, just watching her for a moment because she looks so happy. He knows she is happy now, but this is the life she should have had. One she would have if they hadn't left. Part of him wants to give this to her, but he knows he can't. She has a real Stiles and a real Ben who needs her to come back] Cora. Cora, its me. [he walks to the gate, not opening the latch]

Cora: [she looks up at the sound of her name, and for a moment, it almost seems like she doesn't recognize him. And then a smile splits across her face as she pushes up from the swing and goes to meet him] Derek! You didn't tell me you were coming back.

Derek: I haven't gone anywhere, Cora. You have. I need you to come home.

Cora: What are you talking about, I am home. [she opens the gate and throws her arms around his neck pulling him close into a warm hug, probably the first one she's given him in a long time] It's good to see you.

Derek: [and he holds her tightly, keeping her with him] No, you're not. Home is in DC. Stiles and Ben are there waiting for you.

Cora: Stiles and Ben are right here. [she's not going to be swayed that easily, sorry Derek] Come here, I really want you to meet him.

Derek: I know Ben, Cora. I've helped you raise him, remember?

Cora: How could you, you were with Laura?

Derek: No, I was with you. You're my twin. No matter what, I'd never be that far from you.

Cora: [she blinks and shook her head] No, I left. I got on the bus and came back when I found out - what are you talking about?

Derek: No Cora, you didn't leave. You're under a spell right now, and none of this is real. I've come to bring you home.

Cora: You're not making any sense. You're the one who told me to go.

Derek: I know. And I was wrong back then. I was young, and stupid, and because of that I lost you. We were there, but I lost you and I never meant for you to feel like that. That I didn't want you. But I'm not going to lose you now, Cora. I'm here. I'm always here and I will always be here when you need me, and you need me right now. You need to wake up and come home.

Cora: [and she falters again, not really knowing what to make of any of that, because part of her wants and needs to hear it, it still doesn't make any sense] You didn't ... you didn't lose me. Things were better when I left. Weren't they? [she's starting to doubt the things she knew were true, and when she does, the scenery around them flickers, just for a moment]

Derek: No, they weren't. We're a team. Yin and Yang - two souls born from each other. Even when we fight, we're always connected. When you hurt, I hurt. And when I broke us, I broke me. I don't know how to fix us, but I'm going to keep trying until I figure it out, but I can't do it if you hide here. You know inside of you that this isn't real. It's nice, it's safe, but it's not your Stiles. It's not your Ben. You need to come home to all of us, Cora. Just trust me this one time, please, and know I'm here for you and only you. I need you to come back to me.

Cora: [she pauses for a moment and her eyes gloss for a moment, trying to fight for the thing she wants the most, just a simple world where she can have her family and be happy, and she looks back at Ben and Stiles for a moment] Why can't this be the real one? Why wasn't I strong enough?

Derek: You are strong. The life you have now is real. It's yours and you fought tooth and nail for it and you finally got it. Don't throw it away for a pretty dream. You're just starting to live the real happy ending now. And you can have this now back home. There's nothing stopping you.

Cora: It doesn't feel like it. [and that's the thing. She has everything she wanted and she should be happy, but nine times out of ten she can't feel it. She's constantly terrified that it's all going to be ripped out from under her]

Derek: The only thing holding you back, Cora, is your own fear. [and he will press his forehead against hers] We spent so much time being afraid that we never feel safe. But we are. We finally are. You just have to believe it.

Cora: I don't know how.

Derek: You just have to trust again. Trust yourself. Trust Stiles. [and he will look at her in the eyes] Trust me.

Cora: [she watches him for a moment, and it's been her kneejerk reaction for so long to not do that, but he's here, wherever he is, and he came to get her, so maybe if she trusts him this once, maybe the next time will be easier. then at the same time, it isn't just him] What about Dad? [because that one really hurt, a lot]

Derek: He was scared you'd be hurt. How many times have you made a choice for Ben because you were afraid he would be hurt? You know it may hurt but it's the thing you do to make sure he's safe in the moment.

Cora: Ben is eight. I was twenty two.

Derek: Just because you're 22, it doesn't mean he doesn't stop being your father and trying to protect you.

Cora: [she closes her eyes before shaking her head a bit] I can't ...

Derek: But it's the past. We all make mistakes, Cora. That doesn't mean you can't take charge and make this future your own. But it's not real here, and if you stay, Ben will never be able to hug his mother again. Stiles will be left alone without you and we all know how well he handles that. And I don't know if I can live without my twin. I don't know if I want to live without you. I need you. We all need you, Cora.

Cora: [she stares at him for a moment and looks back, because there's so much of this life she doesn't want to give up, but as it starts to fade around the edges, he can already tell that she's starting to push back. As desperately as she wants it to be real, it's not, and before long, the image fades entirely, and Cora's eyes fly open, and she jerks with a gasp, feeling her brother's claws in her neck]

Derek: [and a moment later he pulls them out and whips to the side, half collapsing as he tries to steady himself, gasping for breath. He can feel the wetness on his face from the fallen tears but he's shaking in the aftermath of the bond that he can't be bothered to wipe them away]

Stiles: [and he's up on his feet, holding her hand] Cora?!

Cora: [her eyes dart up at him and her eyes cloud almost immediately] I'm sorry. I'm sorry ...

Allison: [makes her way over to Derek, crouching down in front of him with a concerned look on her face]

Stiles: [and he will pull her into his arms] No, it's okay. You're here. That's all that matters.

Derek: [shaky breath] I'm fine...

Cora: [and she'll just bury her face in his shoulder and she's probably crying but she's trying her best to do it quietly]

Allison: Are you sure?

Derek: [he shakes his head, but the pain in his chest is gone which is a relief]

Stiles: [and he will just press her against him, his fingers petting her hair as he looks over at them]

Allison: [reaches over and takes his hand] Why don't we have you looked over by one of the medics? [and give Stiles and Cora some time alone to recalibrate]

Derek: [he shakes his head again] Not leaving her.

Allison: Okay. Then I'll see if they can come here.

Derek: [nods, and he will ease himself down into a chair though, and then lean back to focus on his breathing]

Cora: [and she'll pull back eventually, one hand coming up to brush at her eyes as she whispers to Stiles again] I'm sorry.

Stiles: Don't be. I'm just glad Derek could help you find your way back to us.

Cora: [she nods, before shifting slightly to glance back over at her brother and giving him a softer look than she probably has in a while] Thank you.

Derek: [and he will smile back before closing his eyes again] Like I'd let you go that easy. [you're welcome]

Cora: [she rolls her eyes, before shaking her head] You should listen to Allison.

Derek: She's bringing the medics here. I'm fine, just overexerted myself. I've never done that before.

Cora: [you are not taking the hint Derek but okay. fine.] Okay. [and she will just cuddle into Stiles some more and try to get her head back on straight. And eventually the medics show up and they get permission to go home?]

Derek: [he just saved your life, Cora. He wants to be close to his twin sister. But fine, he will let Allison drag him home while Stiles takes her home]

Cora: [baby steps, okay? She'll go and check on him tomorrow. But for now, she will let Stiles take her home, and she'll walk into the apartment and ... it doesn't feel familiar anymore. She wraps her arms around herself and tries to discern what's real and what isn't]

Stiles: [and he will come up behind her, putting a gentle hand on her back] Do you want to talk about what you saw?

Cora: [leans back into him a bit] I came back to Beacon Hills after I found out I was pregnant. We had a house. Ben had a dog. [she shrugs] We were happy.

Stiles: [and he will hold her] How long did it feel you had this life?

Cora: ... Years? [there's a deep breath as she tries not to start crying again] It felt so real.

Stiles: That's what a djiin does. It gives you everything you want, and then feeds off the happiness.

Cora: Well, it sucks.

Stiles: I know. But, we can maybe use it to guide us in the future? Maybe we can find a house that is really ours and not just a dream.

Cora: [she nods a bit, before tipping her head back to look at him] Actually, I've been thinking. Maybe we could move somewhere new?

Stiles: We could. I mean, if we ever do decide to have another kid, we're going to need more room.

Cora: I mean out of DC.

Stiles: ... Beacon Hills?

Cora: [shakes her head] Actually, I was thinking Mystic Falls.

Stiles: That's not that far from here.

Cora: No. And Hayley was telling me about a school there for supernatural kids. I think she's planning on sending Hope there.

Stiles: Well, Ben would love to go to school with her.

Cora: I thought so too. And he can be around kids like him, so he wouldn't have to watch what he says or worry about being himself.

Ben: Maybe Baal would also like to go? I mean, Hope and Ben are his closest friends.

Cora: Maybe. We'd have to see what Derek wants to do.

Stiles: Of course. But why don't we go visit and look to see if we want to live there, or find someplace nearby and let Ben board there

Cora: [she nods] I think I want to get out of the city, though. [she turns to face him, sliding her arms around his waist] Everything here is just ... mired in stuff I'm having a hard time getting past. I think I need a fresh start.

Stiles: Well, I'm almost out of CONTROL. Once I'm done, we're free to make our own lives. And I'm more than ready for a fresh start with you and Ben.

Cora: [smiles softly and nods] Good. I think we've earned it.

Stiles: More than earned it. And I've got enough money to provide for us both for a very long time

Cora: Never mind my inheritance.

Stiles: We're set. From now on, we make our future. We make our happy ending.

Cora: Good. [and she'll push up on her toes to kiss him softly]

Stiles: [and he will kiss her back, holding her close] I love you so much.

Cora: I love you too. [she closes her eyes, leaning into him a bit and she just wants to distract herself - in fact, she's desperate to try and ground herself in this reality. She has to. She tips her lips up to kiss him again, before whispering] Remind me what's real?

Stiles: [and he will nibble on her ear] I'll remind you all night long if I have to. [and he will take her hand, leading her to their bedroom]

Cora: [and she probably won't last all night long because she's still healing, but they'll get a few good rounds in before they pass out for the night]

Stiles: [and he will hold her while they sleep, so that the first thing she sees when she wakes up is him, her eyes able to find the familiar scars that cover her real Stiles that the one in her dream world wouldn't have.]

Cora: [and she appreciates that because everything else would have had her panicking - even the scars do a bit because she's worried about what happened to him while she was sleeping, but after a second she remembers, things slip back into place and she relaxes, tracing her fingers against his shoulder]

Stiles: [and he will crack open his eyes to look at her and smile] Morning.

Cora: Morning. How'd you sleep?

Stiles: Good. How about you?

Cora: [nods] It was waking up that was the weird part.

Stiles: Trying to wake up back in the real world again?

Cora: [she nods] There's a few seconds where I'm expecting it to be the other way.

Stiles: Well, you have the better way waiting right here for you.

Cora: [smiles softly, brushing her hand against his cheek] I know it is. My brain just needs a minute to catch up.

Stiles: [leans into her hand] Just as long as you come back to me, take all the time you need.

Cora: Always. [and she leans in to kiss him softly]

Stiles: [kisses her back] So what should we do today?

Cora: [she shrugs slightly] I don't know. Though we do have to get Ben at some point.

Stiles: Yeah, I know. Probably should also check on Derek.

Cora: Yeah. That too. [though there's still a bit of uncertainty there]

Stiles: What is it?

Cora: [she gives a small shrug] Nothing. Just ... things are different.

Stiles: I don't understand...

Cora: In there was a world where I didn't resent him. And he woke me up anyway.

Stiles: Of course he did. He'd rather you resent him than lose you completely.

Cora: I know. I just ... it's one of those things I'm still parsing.

Stiles: You know he was in a lot of pain when he showed up yesterday. He knew something was wrong, and while Freya was working on a spell to try and help break into your dream, he knew he had to do it in a way to make you feel him and really know it was him there, and not just someone projecting him to you.

Cora: [she looks over at him for a minute before shaking her head] He could have killed me.

Stiles: He didn't. He said your mom showed him how to do it.

Cora: [deep breath] It's not that I'm not grateful. I am. I'm just ... [scared. she's scared that if she trusts Derek again, it'll fall apart]

Stiles: [kisses her shoulder gently] Cora, if you didn't resent him in that perfect world... maybe a part of you knows that for you to be happy, you need to have that relationship back with him.

Cora: But what if it all comes crashing down again? [her voice is soft and quiet, because she knows how dumb it could possibly sound] The last time I trusted Derek to do the right thing, Mom ...

Stiles: Hasn't he paid enough for that one time, almost ten years ago now?

Cora: I never said it was rational, okay? I just ... every time I think about trying, it hurts.

Stiles: [runs a hand along her cheek] I know. But sometimes, to get past a hurt, you have to take a leap of faith and hope that they don't disappoint you again. You've done it for me.

Cora: You were easy. He's harder. [she's quiet for a moment before] He was my twin. I expected better of him.

Stiles: He is your twin. And he's just as human as I am. Well, you know what I mean.

Cora: No, Stiles, you don't ... [she takes a deep breath] He made me feel like I was expendable. And I'm his twin.

Stiles: Has he done it since?

Cora: He hasn't been close enough to. [even though he helped with Ben, Cora still kept her distance. She still kept herself guarded off] Last night he made me feel like I was his sister again.

Stiles: Then maybe it's time to let go, move on, and get your brother back.

Cora: Maybe. [it's not a commitment to anything ... but it's not a no either]

Stiles: Why don't I go pick up Ben and Baal today, and you can talk with Derek?

Cora: [swallows and nods] Okay.

Stiles: [squeezes her hand] I just don't want you to miss a moment where you can have everything you want.

Cora: [looks up at him] You're what I want.

Stiles: You already have me.

Cora: Then I'm good.

Stiles: I want you to be more than good. [he kisses her] I want you to be happy.

Cora: [kisses him back] When I'm with you, I am happy.

Stiles: But you'd be happier with your brother being your brother again, wouldn't you?

Cora: Maybe.

Stiles: [and he will kiss her again] I think you really will.

Cora: I don't think it'll happen overnight.

Stiles: I know. But, you can open the door?

Cora: [she's quiet for a moment, before she nods. She misses her brother, even if she is still uncertain]

Stiles: But right now, let's just focus on us a bit longer before going to get Ben.

Cora: [she smiles softly] That I know I can do.

Stiles: Good. [and he is going to focus on her]

Cora: [and she will enjoy that focus for as long as she has it]

Stiles: [well, he knows how long it takes him to get to the Hale compound and back, so he will know how long he can entertain her before going to get Ben and Baal]

Cora: [and she will take advantage of every moment of that until he leaves and she's waiting for Derek]

Derek: [and he will come over, bringing her coffee and pastries because it'll be awhile]

Cora: Hey. [small smile as she lets him in]

Derek: Hi. How are you feeling?

Cora: Better. Things are still a little weird but ... better.

Derek: Trying to separate the fact from fiction still?

Cora: A little. Stiles has been helping.

Derek: Maybe I can help too?

Cora: [normally she would just brush him off, but she promised Stiles she'd try so she takes a deep breath and nods]

Derek: [he was expecting the brush off, because that had been her default for the last few years, so his eyes widened a bit in shock, and then he nodded] So where can I start?

Cora: [she shrugs as she goes to sit on the couch] In the other reality, I got on the bus.

Derek: The one that you wanted to take back to Beacon Hills the day you found out about Ben?

Cora: [she nods]

Derek: [he will go and sit next to her] You know, there were a lot of times I wish you had, just because I saw how sad you were here, wanting to share all of Ben's childhood with Stiles. I could feel it.

Cora: I was too scared. I didn't want to raise him without a pack.

Derek: I know. I was scared for you too. That's why I always stayed close to help you, even if it felt you wanted nothing to do with me.

Cora: I wasn't sure how long it was going to last.

Derek: [nods, not really knowing what to say]

Cora: You know, I still remember exactly how she stood when she put that gun to my head? It's like it's burned in the back of my mind. The only thing stronger than that is the way you reacted when Mom told you, and how expendable that made me feel.

Derek: [and he will look at his hands, trying not to look hurt] I wish I could rewrite that day, Cora. I was a stupid kid, and I failed you that day. I failed you a lot.

Cora: You weren't just a stupid kid. You were my twin. [she takes a deep breath] Until that day, I always felt like I knew what you were going to do. That I knew you, and we were so in sync. I felt like I could trust you. I thought that no matter what, I knew my brother could be trusted with everything, that we were on the same team. [there's a beat] But that moment, it was my life on the line, and you chose her. My life, Derek. If I couldn't trust you to protect that, then how long was it going to take before someone else came along and you did it again.

Derek: And so it was just easier to push me out of your life instead of letting me try to earn your trust back. [it's not a question. It's what he's felt ever since that day]

Cora: [she shrugs] I trust you with some things. I trust you with Ben. But I never wanted to feel that way again.

Derek: Cora, you know how strong you love Stiles. How you're willing to stay with him even though you know what he does, who he was is going to always be dangerous to you and Ben, but you are willing to stay with him because you can't be happy without him?

Cora: It's not the same. It's not the same as you and me, don't make it about that. [and she pushes up and walks away because she's expecting another justification for him being with Allison and she doesn't want it]

Derek: No, it's not. But you still trust him, even after each time something bad happens, you still love him and are willing to take the risk because of that love. You're risking yourself, and your son, from a threat that's way more dangerous that anything I could do to you. But you can't find it in yourself to trust me because of one instance almost a decade ago. Why does he get the constant forgiveness over and over again, but I mess up once and you cut me off without even thinking about how much you've hurt me over all those years? I'm you're twin too, and it hurts me just as much to be cut off.

Cora: Because I was never an acceptable sacrifice! [she looks up at the ceiling, running a hand through her hair] Everything that Stiles did was because he didn't have me, and yes, trouble came for him, but we dealt with it together. We work as a team. And he's getting out of that life because we are more important. Because he never made me feel like losing me would be okay as long as he got what he wanted.

Derek: And neither did I! You were safe at home. If I had stumbled upon you in the woods I would have ripped her throat out without a care that she was Allison's aunt, but you were home safe with our parents. And if Mom really thought we were in danger, she would have done something, but she did nothing either. I tried to stay away but I felt a mating bond and I couldn't resist it. I didn't know how, and Mom could see that and SHE did nothing. But it's easier for all of you to blame me for what happens because of something I didn't know how to control, and to make me feel worthless. And I took it as a punishment willingly because I would rather you all hate me than hate Mom but I almost lost you yesterday and I wasn't going to not save you just because you think I don't care about you. Maybe I can't change your mind and show you how wrong you are, but you are. [and he can't see her anymore through the tears streaming down his face] And I'm tired of being the one everyone hates in the family.

Cora: I don't hate you! [it may be how it feels, and maybe that's understandable, but it would be easier if she hated him. Maybe it would have been easier to walk away if she did] I love you! I never stopped loving you. But I felt those feelings too. And I still would have chosen you. I walked away from Stiles because I chose you and I chose the pack. And what I get for it is people lying to me and people handling me with kid gloves because they think I can't handle it. [she takes a deep breath] But you did make me feel that way, Derek. Even if it hadn't been your intention, I was not fine. I may have been safe and in the house, but I was scared. And Mom didn't do anything because she trusted you to put the pack first. She trusted you to make the right choice. So don't put this on her when they were choices you made.

Derek: You have a funny way of showing it. [and he rubs at his eyes] I could barely control my shift, Cora. Like I would have the ability to control a mating call. But I have never once lied to you - not then, and not since. I've tried to do everything right by you first and foremost in some effort to get my sister back. Why do you think I didn't date a single person since we left? I didn't want to risk that kind of blindness that came with a mate bond. Why I hid myself in books and most classes a semester than anyone should have possibly carried? It was so I was distracted from anything else that would take me away from you. Why I tried so fiercely to be a positive male role model to Ben? So that maybe you'd see that I was choosing you. And then when she came back, it was like you didn't care. In fact, Allison coming back was the first time I felt like someone did care for me because of me, and not just because I was part of the pack and they had to. That's how I've been made to feel.

Cora: If I didn't love you, this wouldn't have sucked so much. [she moves to sit down on the coffee table, burying her face in her hands] You never lied to me before that either. You went through motions, and sure, I was important to you now, but I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm never going to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Derek: You seriously can't see everything I gave up for you and still think I'm going to risk hurting you? [the pain of that vibrates through him, the tears streaming down his face again]

Cora: I never asked you to give it up. In fact, I actively encouraged against it. You did what you wanted to do, and blamed it all on them not being Allison.

Derek: I gave up basketball for you. I gave up the idea of traveling the world. I only stayed at Georgetown for my masters because you were here and I thought you might need me. I never moved further from you than I could get to you on foot. I never took a job so I could always be available to babysit at a moment's notice. I kept my head down and didn't stand out just in case Allison did try to find me so that she wouldn't be able to. The only reason she found me was because of Stiles, not me.

Cora: And I never asked you for any of this! None of it! I never wanted you to make yourself miserable forever. Don't blame any of this on me.

Derek: I'm not blaming you! I'm trying to show you what I would do for you. You didn't have to ask - I gave it up for you.

Cora: And what makes you think that's what I wanted?!

Derek: It wasn't about what you wanted for me. I was trying to just get you to want me.

Cora: Well, maybe if you - if any of you - had taken five minutes to actually ask me what I wanted, we wouldn't be in this situation.

Derek: Maybe if you actually answered us and not just told us you're fine when we did ask, we could have known.

Cora: What was I supposed to say? [her arms flop to her sides] It wouldn't have changed anything. It didn't seem like I was getting listened to anyway.

Derek: You can't have it both ways, Cora. You can't want us to listen and not talk. You can't say you love me and yet still act like you're just waiting to be betrayed.

Cora: Actually, that one I can have both ways. Because you can't be betrayed by someone you don't love. And I did talk! I asked for months to talk to Stiles, and none of you stood up for me with Laura. None of you tried to help. In fact, one of you hid him from me, and no matter how many times I told you to try and move on, you didn't. You said that you were happy with the way things were. So who wasn't listening to who?

Derek: If I had known where Stiles was, I would have told you in a heartbeat. I told you to go to him, you chose not to get on the bus. And I did stand up for you with Laura, both when you were there and when you weren't. I begged for her to let me go back if it wasn't safe for you to go with Ben. I asked Dad to call Stiles' dad. I lost all my numbers when Laura made us ditch our phones or I would have called anyone back home to get a message out for you.

Cora: [she barely even remembers those times, having gotten so used to the nos at that point that they all sort of blur together. Her eyes close for a moment, rubbing them with one hand because this all has given her a headache] Yes, well. More of that would have been better. I didn't care if you were giving monks a run for their money.