The Picket Fence Cliche

Pre-Series

“Well, you know. First day at a new school – injuring some innocent bystander is clearly high up on the list with impressing new teachers and catching up on homework.”

"So did you just love senior year so much that you needed to just take it over and over again for the rest of your life?"

"I got all of Buffy's princess hand-me-downs. But unlike Buffy, I was less of a Sleeping Beauty, more of a Susan Pevensie."

"Your fifty minutes of Buffy time starts now."

"Did he not date previously? Or were you expecting romance novel levels of swooning?"

“You know, you’re just asking for trouble.”

“Because more often than not, their brain exists in their pants.”

“How much longer are you going to kick my ass? I have school tomorrow.”

"No books with animal best friends end well."

302: The Kids are Alright "You don't look at all like your picture."

Teen Wolf Season 3A

302: Chaos Rising "You know, my sister dated vampires. I can sense when people are looming."

303: Firefiles "Oooh silent yelling. I haven't been on the wrong side of this in a while."

304: Unleashed "The last time Buffy tried to forcibly remove Dawn from a situation, Xander got tasered."

310: The Overlooked "And Jennifer or Julia -- Julifer -- played you. You can't hate yourself for letting yourself be happy."

312: Lunar Eclipse "I'm fine."

"What about slimey demon monsters from dimensions with no name?"

"Oh yeah. He and my sister totally have a thing."

"... You have met my sister the demon hunter, haven't you?"

"Yup. Most powerful muppet in the universe."

"Buffy ... really needs to pick better towns. No offense."

903: I'm No Angel "Something between a kitten purring and a mouse squeaking."

"You know those went out in the 90s, right?"

"Wow. Really? When I'm fading out of existence, that's when you tell me?"

"And what's your track record? Only fair since you know mine."

"I'm feeding two werewolves, five Slayers, one witch, and four human bottomless pits. It might as well be a small army."

909: Holy Terror "You were given a second chance to help save him from himself. I think he will always need that."

"I hate tests."

Teen Wolf Season 3B

314: More Bad Than Good "Go see a doctor. Goodbye!"

"I guess Mister Big Bad Alpha lost his groove with his power, huh? Not as sneaky anymore?"

911: First Born "Do you want me to leave then?"

912: Sharp Teeth "They both lie, dear."

"Her boyfriend is being attacked and tattooed by shadow creatures, but I think that is pretty much ... standard as far as Beacon Hills is concerned."

"We're driving! I can talk and drive at the same time."

317: Silverfinger "Now imagine reckless, teenage crazy me as a baby alpha still learning control with only a pack of reckless, teenage betas running around helping?"

913: Purge "So. Yoga."

318: Riddled "The Powers that Be don't really cut us breaks."

"You could say that I beat you unconscious and was gone when you woke up?"

319: Letharia Vulpina "I'm just sayin' if he's gonna start dissin' the Sox he should do it in someone else's bar."

"I went and bought dessert because I wasn't going to risk ruining that."

321: The Fox and the Wolf "Some girls, when a boy is smarmy and generally shady in their direction, get upset. Buffy punches them in the face."

"He was a very bad puppy."

322: De-Void "Just because we prefer to take the Hulk approach doesn't mean it's not any less valid."

"Please don't shoot my boyfriend. ... Again."

"You know, we should work on avoiding these situations where a powerful creature tries to kill us for their own purposes."

324: The Divine Move "You did hear him say that right. I have a witness?"

"Taylor Swift does have a song for everything."

"Well, I am a girl. Or did you not notice that?"

"But is it really something good over the phone? Does he Skype? Does he even know what Skype is?"

"Yeah, but unfortunately, I told Derek that I would keep an eye on you. Which has now come to involve you buying me banana bread."

"Knowing Cora she was just ... as impassive as ever?"

"Dawn was always a klepto back then."

"Hopefully you'll pick a good volume. Avoid the Qs, not really worth it."

"Or you could just listen to me appreciating your ass in them and ignore them."

"Slightly rambly, too smart for their own good, nerdy, a penchant for finding themselves in trouble, but doing it in an adorably endearing way?"

"You don't have to sleep with her."

"Well, it makes some sense. If crazy makes sense."

920: Bloodlines "If it was for good behavior, I'm going to have serious doubts about Hell being a bad place."

"I get one glob of jelly on some demonology reference and I never live it down."

"Just... don't do anything stupid. That's my job, okay?"

"When we get back, remind me to tell Buffy she owes me twenty bucks."

"But Giles did say stupidity was a requirement."

"Just because she didn't choose to be the Key doesn't mean she didn't make a choice."

"Turns out Hostess and Little Debbie weren't making food. They made chemicals in the shape of food, so yes, they actually are still good. No nutritional value, but it's a comfort."

"You weren't just absent you were ... practically a myth."

"I'm just glad Stiles is interested in a real girl."

"I love them, but when they're emotional, they're dumbasses."

"Trust me. I'm not going near any portals for a long time."

"You're back. Oh God you're back and safe and not turned into some weird ass brain eating zombie."

"You're assuming that cocky little shit is my type."

"I want to be an encyclopedia of weird shit."

"Good. I think we should go now. Right now."

"Ever think that she was asking you to go with her because on some crazy planet she actually wants you to go with her and get some alone time with her big brother?"

"So did you break up with Fabio while I was gone?"

"I happen to be really good at Monopoly."

"More along the lines of vortex manipulator. Quick and dirty, not to be used often."

Teen Wolf Season 4

401: The Dark Moon "But I'm done with being the bearer of bad news with my girlfriend."

"I'm not even going to pretend to understand the dynamics here, but I'm all for Cora's uncle being more helpful, less of a creeper."

"So you basically dangled him in front of Danny like a piece of meat."

"You realize that your brother is tackle flirting with your cousin, right?"

"No, it's not. It's a yes or no question!"

"No, I still win with having two children from the zombie apocalypse future appearing in my life. But good try there."

"I was cursed by a rabbit's foot, Bela. Breathing was going to become fatal."

"So is that easier? To just blame us for it? Then fine."

"Give everyone a chance to kill Kate. It could be a reality show."

402: 117 "Was Bobby Anderson actually a total douchebag or was that you being all teenager-y and petty?"

"Like your back up plan to use Lydia's banshee-ness to brainwash your way back from the dead?"

403: Muted "So does this mean I don't get to stab her?"

"Well, I do want to study. But I also wanted to kiss you. I have a lot of wants."

404: The Benefactor "Gee, Buffy. Thanks for saving me from getting my head chopped off and keeping me from wasting away slowly from a terrible painful poison."

"I'm pretty sure Lydia's mom is going to disown her."

"Right. The whole you ripping out Kate's throat thing."

"And now you're cheating and distracting me."

"When I'm not about to walk my sister's future father-in-law into a battle with a man throwing military grade tomahawks.... sure."

405: I.E.D "Looks like you're going to have to get a haircut..."

406: Orphaned "I'm wrapping you in bubble wrap."

407: Weaponized "For once, I'm happy not to have my sense of smell right now."

"Oh god, I totally get that glare now. He was having performance issues and I just rubbed it in and didn't even know it."

"When it comes to Slayer versus Gun? It still tends to go to gun."

408: Time of Death "If you want to be a good guy, Peter, try to stop caring about what's in it for you. Or gloating about it, for that matter."

"Because your books took over the bed again."

409: Perishable "Yes. Supernatural powers make you super bangable."

"Sorry. I only have enough optimism to bolster one Hale at a time. She's Stiles's responsibility."

"Well, after we stop the evil assassins, get my brother his wolf back and make sure he doesn't die, we can move it to the top of the goal list."

410: Monstrous "Peter's always going to hurt someone."

"There's always a choice."

411: A Promise to the Dead "I missed half my junior year because my hometown sink-holed into a crater and my teachers fled the town screaming and I still got into Berkeley."

"I can feel your eyes burning a hole in my head."

412: Smoke and Mirrors "Don't worry. You're still pretty. Now you don't get to ruin it by talking."

"I think the words 'grounded from Cora time' were uttered."

"I guess we can have veggie on one of them. If we have to."

"A caring and protective and good to you boyfriend. Remember, those qualifiers are important."

"I like it a little rougher. You can take your time in round two."

"This isn't my fault."

"I want to say I think she can do better, but I've met her previous boyfriends."

"Is that your cell phone vibrating or are you really just that happy to be kissing me?"

"He's kind of your Mr. Miyagi with the whole alpha thing, right?"

"Is anyone that should be dead actually dead?"

"Oh screw it, who cares about the Persian Gulf War anyway."

"Sweets told me to tell you he wasn't really fond of that chair anyway."

"In psychologist speak, that means 'Ooooh I've hit a nerve, let's poke it some more and see what happens.' In this case, needing to buy new office furniture."

"I'm not wearing chainmail."

"Then you only have to worry about my throwing food if I have another temper tantrum."

"This will be more so. Like the wanting to rip people's throats out if they try and flirt with him."

"This is what you get for dating younger men still in high school."

"I think the idea of me running into burning buildings might give Cora and Derek a heart attack."

"Is that how he greets all your house guests? Because I'm starting to understand why you don't have more dinner parties."

"It's a good thing she's bringing Derek because I don't think she's ever going to leave."

"A little effort, please. Otherwise we're going vegetarian."

"And if it doesn't work, we can have Liam get kidnapped by someone with Ebola."

"She actually ... came here instead of scowling the question at Stiles? Believe it or not, that's progress."

"Girls like words. Even if they are nebulous and undefined."

"They're tossing turkeys."

"And here I was hoping for a movie marathon and bungee jumping. I guess I'll just have to go and cancel the appointment."

"I brought you some pie."

"I swear I used to be an actual person once upon a time."

"Extremely. Be more specific."

"Her mother has a rap sheet. A very long, extensive, and probably more dangerous than me rap sheet."

"We really don't want to have to deal with the Winchester Apocalypse 2.0."

"Now, given that this was Angel and Buffy being involved tends to provoke him onto reacting at an eleven rather than at a five, I thought it prudent to do most of the investigating myself."

"So you chase me. And don't worry, the game is rigged. You're the only one I want catching me."

"Squandering an education is a crime. I refuse to let them start a life of crime in my city."

1007: Girls Girls Girls When they got stuck here, they didn't realize the grace inside him would have an allergic reaction to the world as they know it.

"Her name is Avnas. I believe the word for her is 'incorrigible.'"

"The branches have a mind of their own. We discussed this."

"Well, from what I've heard, there are fifty of them, so it takes time to master them all."

"Yes. In case you didn't manage to get that with the kissing and the almost tackling you off the balcony, yes."

"Dude, Derek never tells me anything unless I specifically ask him! Why do you assume I know anything?!"

"I'm trying not to kill the moment entirely."

"You sure this is the room you want to spend the weekend with your boyfriend in?"

"Kind of! Less tormented than a ghost. More like a visitor. Who is incorporeal. But could still probably hurt us if we piss her off."

1008: Hibbing 911 "May the odds be ever in their favor."

"Good, then we stick with this for a while and I'll just need to plastic line my underwear."

"......... Are you telling me that your brother is advocating us having sex?"

"Don't be mad at her for too long, okay? She's just doing what Peter asked."

"I am your older sister. I will boss you around until the day you die."

"So yeah, I think we can like hibernate for a week. Or two hours, depending on how hungry you are."

"Maybe we could get a two for one couples session. Control Management 101."

"I really hope that's you, Cora, or I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do..."

“Not that I’m not ungrateful for the unexpected girly time, but I figured with Laura back you would go to her instead.”

"I'm sorry, ma'am, I'm waiting for my girlfriend."

"This whole inter-pack dating is working well on our guest list."

"But after a while you learn that junk is just junk, and it happens to just be out there sometimes and you ignore it."

“Then I vote we do not leave your dorm at all. Unless we’re in need of food, or are forced to by a poorly timed fire alarm.”

"You're still his uncle and you're still his best friend. And he'll still fight for you harder than the rest of us ever will."

Werewolves have always been tactile creatures.

"But you also met an awesome girl and get laid. A lot."

"Everyone speaks a different version of English than Buffy."

"Because apparently the Winchester brothers are turning my house into the Jody Mills Home for Supernaturally Damaged Teenage Girls."

"So is this one of those nights I'm going to be faking a cold in the morning because I won't be getting any sleep?"

“No, but I fed him and you took him on walks in the woods at night. He counts.”

"He may be right. Your jawline is weirdly uneven."

“Vampires.”

Teen Wolf Season 5A

501: Creatures of the Night "I feel deprived of the awesome storm sex we could have had."

502: Parasomnia "If you can't really tell, I'm not all that comfortable with change."

"Thing is, the guy's usually so caught up in everything around him, he doesn't tend to catch the obvious until it pretty much slaps him in the face."

"How many times have I told you, Derek, the sophomores aren't toys."

"You are the best roommate ever."

503: Dreamcatchers "I was thinking the one knee approach. I figured there would be some ass kissing and that would put the posterior right in front of me."

504: Condition Terminal "I beat a kanima today."

"Rise and shine, deputy."

505: A Novel Approach "Just tell me what happened."

"Not your fault I almost killed a sophomore."

507: Strange Frequencies "Place settings and flower arrangements clearly take priority over some creepos experimenting on teenagers."

"I fucking hate this town."

508: Ouroboros "There anything I can do to have you put him in a car and drag him to Berkley away from all this?"

"The guy who punched me in the face was on fire."

509: Lies of Omission "Because you just made a right hand turn without me having to tell you."

"So, do you know why the Sheriff is asking me to send Peter to talk to Malia about being a tail on Theo? Because cryptic text messages are not really my thing."

510: Status Asthmaticus "Hey. Still need to wait for the tow truck?"

"Alright, ugly. Nonlethal approach it is."

"He broke her."

"Please tell me you're not busy right now."

"Well, while you were communing with nature, this Raeken kid and the Dread Doctors have been causing all kinds of trouble."

"Well, I can see why Stiles is pissed now."

"And you can say no, that's my super hot trophy wife. You should all be super jealous."

"Why is your phone being cranky?"

"You're not going to make me cluck like a chicken, right?"

"I have learned, however, the Welsh clearly do not believe in vowels."

"Part of me wants to go to Berkeley and never look back."

"There's a shortage of perfectly formed breasts in this world."

"You know, they say that six consecutive blood moons is a sign of the end times."

"So, quick actual question - I get not wanting to be caught up in Hurricane Jody, but why hang out with the stoner from Sioux Falls?"

"Not all supernatural creatures get fun superpowers."

1018: The Book of the Damned "Uhhh ... guys. Since when does the bunker allow gatecrashers?"

1022: The Prisoner "Not killing Dean is very important, and not killing people is very important to her."

"What are you doing here?"

"You are not allowed to skip Thanksgiving unless you are projectile vomiting blood. Or, in Ben's case, are in danger of passing out and drowning in the mashed potatoes."

"Time away will help heal things, kid. I promise."

"Like there's probably an alternate universe where you could have been like 'Damn, lacrosse sucks, I'd rather play golf' and you become some kind of freaky golf prodigy or some shit.

"Come on, we're going for a ride."

"Oh, it was perfect. It was exactly what I wanted it to be. You want to go again? I can get tickets for the next showing?"

Teen Wolf Season 5B

511: The Last Chimera "Not me."

"He got knocked unconscious twice today. He needs to see a doctor."

"You are turning out to be terrible for my nerves."

512: Damnatio Memoriae "We're understaffed and half the office is freaking out - I don't think they're about to argue with me when no one got hurt."

"And how is this supposed to make things better, exactly?"

513: Codominance "I feel like a new man."

"Come on, I'll make you extra bacon."

514: The Sword and the Spirit "Can you walk? Or ... I don't know, be something other than dead weight?"

"Sorry, Phone had no signal."

"It's Lydia."

1112: Don't You Forget About Me "Don't worry, I borrowed one from Stiles."

"I smuggled you out pie."

"Not instilling a vote of confidence in my personal safety here, Liv."

515: Amplification "He's in here."

516: Lie Ability "I'm starting to get a frequent patient punch card there."

"Special delivery. One hellhound."

"And hey, remember. Cora was also an accident baby, and we love her just as much."

517: A Credible Threat "I need to leave, Laura."

518: Maid of Gevaudan "Please tell me your idiot boyfriend is still here."

"Do you love this car?"

519: The Beast of Beacon Hills "Hello, lover."

520: Apotheosis "Sleeping on the job again?

"And then he is getting in his jeep and driving to Berkeley, or I am going to drive him there and abandon him at the dorms."

"Yeah, I got ten in fact. Come on in."

"My head is going to explode."

"I know this isn't practical."

"I was just about to make some tea."

"I think you already know."

"Should I not be here?"

"Taking a break from dancing?"

"So I don't think we've had the chance to meet yet. I'm Joyce."

"I survived your mother's inquisition."

"We did it."

"Okay, you need to take a break."

"Have we ever done something like this before?"

"It's no big deal, guys."

"Hey. Can I grab my usual table?"

"....... Is that meaning what I think it is?"

"Be careful with that. It's heavier than it looks and really sharp."

"Do you want to know?"

"Half of those bruises are from him falling down drunk into the stage."

"Want me to bring something over? Soup? Pizza? Meds?"

"Uh huh. I totally evolved my Bulbasar."

"I got you and the youngling extra meat."

"Can I ask you something?"

"I think the baby's coming."

"What do you think about April for my birthday?"

"Did you drop something?"

Teen Wolf Season 6A

601: Memory Lost "Cora?! Cora where are you?!"

602: Superposition "So, we've got a problem happening in town and I wanted to keep you in the loop."

603: Sundowning "Shut it, fire dog."

"Scott's worried about me losing control."

"You wouldn't by chance have a late night craving for milkshakes at all, would you?"

"I still can't believe it. That cutie from the diner? Really?"

604: Relics "Parrish to base. Come in."

"I'm just trying to solve something in my head."

"Lydia. Let. Go."

605: Radio Silence "So Malia's missing dad just showed up out of nowhere and she suddenly remembered him?"

"How long do you think time passes back home while we're here?"

"I think I would have noticed if there was a girl around here."

606: Ghosted "What's wrong?"

"Come on, I'll make us something that will hopefully not kill either of us."

607: Heartless "You should have taken me with you."

608: Blitzkrieg "That was not part of the plan."

"I think I gotta go."

609: Memory Found "What is that hunk of - oh hey, it's the Sheriff and Jody."

"Do you remember me?"

610: Riders on the Storm "Oh my god what happened to the baby Cora are you okay you shouldn't be trying to kick Riders in the face even if it's hot and I missed seeing you be all kickass."

"Sheriff's station."

"You're back."

"Don't ever do something like that again to me, ok?"

"Well look who finally remembered how to use the phone."

“Jeans without holes in them, a shirt that isn’t flannel – I feel like my girlfriend’s been replaced by some kind of imposter. Who are you? Where have you taken her?”

"You have my girlfriend's phone."

"Can we talk?"

"You want to get out of here?"

1202: Mamma Mia "You didn't hear anything about a nest of 'em, did you?"

"We're closed. Office hours are on the sign by the door."

"Holy shit what are you feeding her she's huge?!"

1203: The Foundry "Can I help you?"

"Hey! I didn't expect you to pick up."

"When are you coming for dinner, I'm making ribs?"

"Make it stop."

"Hey. How you doing?"

Teen Wolf Season 6B

611: Said the Spider to the Fly "... Am I babysitting or is he actually a recruit?"

"I have a weird feeling my girlfriend is in town."

"Nice to see your taste in movies hasn't changed."

"Stiles. C'mon, let's get you to bed."

1208: LOTUS "Too early."

"Parrish?"

612: Raw Talent "I know, but if it's because of this guy running around and I stay here... I need to help them."

"I know you're tired, but do you still want to talk?"

615: Pressure Test "I'm okay."

"What? What is it?"

617: Werewolves in London "He's not wrong, you know."

"Are you supposed to be here?"

620: The Wolves of War "Stiles? Stiles, you alright?"

"Are you okay? I haven't heard from you in days and was worried but I know you guys were trying to make Monroe believe you were gone..."

"Taking care of your war wound?"

"Morning boss."

“Do not go back out there.”

“You’re home! Am I that late?”

“Where’s Stiles? Something’s wrong.”

“You know, one time I beat your dad in a fight.”

“I can’t believe I actually survived to a vacation.”

"Do you prefer leather or cloth?"

"You heard the lady."

"Yes, that is a puppy. Now remember, you have to ask first before you pet the puppy ok?"

"You two realize you can't sleep in all day."

"And here we thought we only had to worry about Stiles..."

"Come dance with me."

"Hey beautiful. They wear you out?"

"I need you to come with me."

1310: Wayward Sisters "Not it!"

"What the fuck?"

"You find something?"

"Sam is judging me again. I can feel it."

"No, I don't think we are. Why?"

"What the fuck."

"You know, for once I would love to work a crime scene that doesn't look like a Picasso."

“I was making dinner.”

"Ha, take that Braeden!"

"I can do this if you don't want to go in there."

"I now remember why I hated math as a kid."

"Get dressed. We're going out."

"Make it stop."

Supernatural Season 14

1401: Stranger in a Strange Land "Hello. You look terrible."

"Here we see the majestic moose in a rare moment of sleep."

"Hold on a sec, kid. Hey beautiful."

1402: Gods and Monsters "Easy there, tiger. I can get kinky but not that kinky."

1403: The Scar "I brought you dinner."

"Ever heard of a Lindworm?"

"You're the police officer. You should know that you shouldn't be driving with that arm. I should not have to tell you this."

"We miss anything while we were gone?"

1404: Mint Condition "Hey. Think you could give me a hand?"

1405: Nightmare Logic "Hey, Dad."

1408: Byzantium "You should know better than to try and sneak up a slayer."

"I have a feeling all of us are thanking Derek for sound proofing this place right about now."

"You guys good?"

1410: Nihilism "What part of the time space continuum did you break now?"

1411: Damaged Goods "Everything good with Dean?"

1413: Lebanon My mom's not answering her - phone. Bela's not picking up her phone.

"Shouldn’t you be using this energy to plan your wedding?"

1415: Peace of Mind "You want to talk about it?"

Supernatural Season 15

Post-Canon

“Mommy, can I have a birthday party?”

“What did Peter do this time?”

“That was my alarm.”